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Mike Ashley the Newcastle chairman was walking in the city centre today when he saw an elderly woman struggling across the road with two heavy shopping bags. ''Can you manage love'' shouted the Magpies supremo. '' No f*** off'' replied the old lady, ''I dont want the job.''

The other night 6 or 7 of us were discussing whilst downing a few pints where are the worlds great pubs and bars. 3 picks each. The River Cafe - Brooklyn - Amazing views across the river to lower Manhattan whilst sipping the best Screwdrivers on the planet. Alchemia - Krakow, Poland - Walking...

Why the feck did Wilkins play Rents on the right and Cox on the left towards the end of that game. Surely once Jake had gone off it was obvious they should switch. We needed quality crosses for Elder to attack not Cox floating ineffectual floaters because he had to come inside on his right all...

just thinking about all our managers who have been promoted from within. I think Catlin was the only decent one though Barry Lloyd did ok..... but the rest.

lets a one goal lead slip:angry::angry::angry:

he should be offered an extension to his contract for working miricles on a shoestring.

His time is up. We are getting murdered.

With Pakistan to descend into obvious chaos now and the Taliban moving closer and closer towards Islamabad in the coming years with their evil indoctrination spreading like wildfire and eventually getting their hands close to the nukes do you think we should bomb them first or carry on with the...

i have to say that tho i was lookingf forward to the match i also enjoyed my time at the pub. every cloud has a siver liing

Which Scottish player who signed for the Albion from Exeter in 1972 also had a wife who worked as a English teacher and promised to give me a free ticket to the next game if I could go 30 minutes without being an idiot in one of her classes. ps : I never got a ticket.

http://news.sky.com/skynews/picture_gallery/0,,30200-1297841,00.html If you are stuck for a present for your friend from Croydon or Gillingham then this might be worth a look.

Talisman Of Liberty: Magna Carta On Sale Updated:07:10, Tuesday December 18, 2007 A 13th century copy of the Magna Carta is expected to fetch up to £15m when it is auctioned tonight in New York. The manuscript is one of just 17 copies of the document still in existence and the only one...

A young polar bear came into his den and asked his mother, "Mom am I a real polar bear?" "Of course you are." His mother replied. The young polar bear asked his father. "Dad, am I a real polar bear?" "Yes, you are a real polar bear." A week passed and the young polar bear asked his...

Just having my first drink of the weekend. A large glass of Bells Special Reserve.................. I`ve had a stinking cold all week and its purely medicinal.:whisky: Ah the weekend.

Or maybe the worst ? Tis the time for fun and frivolity so I think it best we regale stories of seasons past when a little too much mulled wine was taken. I was once arrested for assaulting a police officer with a 25LB turkey on the way home from our xmas bash. ( one of our directors was...

So the government have apparently renaged on a deal and the police are furious that they are not going to get their 0.5 % they claim is owing to them. This the same organisation who waved their pay packets at the miners - proud men who were fighting for their communities and not a few more...

Right come on folks , lets get those excuses in early as to why you could not attend tonights match. We want some originals ones tonight. ... I`m off now to support the mighty Seeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaagggguuuuullllsss.

....................... Did you know that Rastafarians do not believe in an afterlife. . Right carry on ...............

Racist joke warning................................ ................................... BEEJESUS Paddy & Mick are walking home after a night on the piss. They've got no money to get a taxi and have missed their last bus home and find themselves staggering all over the place outside the...

http://news.sky.com/skynews/picture_gallery/picture_gallery/0,,70141-1294924,.html If you are stuck for a pressie for someone...... whether young or old, just look at these beauties. Marvellous idea.