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Oi! What's wrong with being short you elitist, liberal snob? It's perfectly possible they were distracted by an amazing turn of phrase from Richard Littlejohn in the Mail and the worry that they'd left the car parked illegally.

I once spotted George Soros' Rolls Royce Sweptail parked in Wilson Avenue with half a tyre on a double yellow. The ticket I handed out gave me the hardest stiffy I've had in my life. I just about held out until I got home but then I remembered I'd left a well written article by Allison Pearson...

Disgusting! That police car is clearly illegally parked and should have been ticketed. There's nothing worse than having a car get in your way so no wonder he's angry. It's only the liberal left elite on NSC who won't understand that's the real issue here.

If you ban Daily Mail reading Traffic Wardens I'll take you all to the European Court of Human Rights although it'll take me to February 2021 to save up for it as I'm not a champagne socialist.

Topless darts, spam fritters, Alf Garnett, Love Thy Neighbour, Bernard Manning, Katie Hopkins, battery eggs, Dennis Wise, special viewing windows for kids at zoos, stepladders, Julia Hartley-Brewer, Benson and Hedges, Skol, more topless darts, proper non league tackles and superbly written books...

The Mail is the bestest paper to read when you're out and about looking for badly parked cars. It's full of well written articles by the likes of Katie Hopkins (Phwoar!!) like these. Katie's best bits

Listen sonny, everyone knows you get 25 weeks holiday a year which you use to work out strategies for indoctrinating kids into taking liberal elite subjects like Sociology and Home Economics. Well, I'm onto ya. My cousin Little Vern is a parking enforcement officer in the Melbourne metropolitan...

I have but I got thrown out for remarking that the chairwoman had nice tits for a lady footballer. It's political correctness gone mad and the liberal left that run NSC would no doubt agree with her even though she preferred comfortable shoes. Luckily Alison Pearson agreed with us in this online...

Everyone knows you're part of liberal Berlin elite and you probably have photos of the mods eating grated frog skin in a two star joint with the presenters of Radio 4's Today programme. That's why NSC stays to the left of Paolo Maldini. Anyway, Katie Hopkins has got it right in this brilliant...