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Always good banter with you, Loz, because you’re a good man…reasonable and rational. I very much hope we do…slightly worried that they appear to be playing better recently. But, if there is a God, Ratboy Fernandes will get two first yellow cards and we can ease to a comfortable win. How do...

It was a progress report, Loz, old son. No gloating here…but a reminder to your lot that the gap still remains after a terrible run of form, results and injuries to us.

Imagine that your arch rivals have just won their first league game in nearly two months, you’ve beaten them at their place and you’re unbeaten in four. Marvellous, yes? But no, you’re still a whole 7 (seven) points behind them in the league table with less than half the season to go...

Bad news everyone, I’m feeling positive so I’ve probably hexed it… Ipswich Town 1 (Afternoon Delap 87) Brighton and Hove Albion 3 (Julio Incisor 33, The Perv 48, Dat Man Welbz 76)

Lols! Don’t forget it’s very important that other people have principles, ethics and a strong moral compass.

Baleba has a higher ceiling IMHO. His consistency and physicality has, in the last 12 months, increased exponentially. Another 12 months and he’ll have gone past Caicedo I think. He’s an absolute gem. As many others have said, enjoy him while we have him and hope his exit is more Ale Mac than...

A slightly rejuvenated draw-specialists 1 (Mitoma-san, 27) The team with the most brittle fanbase in the history of association football 1 (one of the men who thinks he’s Jesus, 48)

Can’t even find my mojo. Tom Hanks’s favourite team 2 (Wee Jock McGinn 37; Oliver Watkins 84). My favourite team 0. Bugger.

Finally back to winning ways. It’ll be nervy and ugly but after some random Dane will give the Bees a deserved first half lead, the Albion will hit back with a towering header from Lewis Carl Dunk and, in a frenzied finale, Big Ev will notch the winner in front of the North Stand. Brighton 2...

Who’s dreaming? I was pointing out the capricious nature of sport. If it’s doing your head in, get off NSC and sit in a darkened room.

💯 this. They did press well and they have some big units to contend with. f*** it. Another day it’s not raining (which just didn’t help our wide outlet passes), we don’t gift them a goal and we win.

Haven’t seen a line up as surprising as this since Wolves at home 22/23….

The day has dawned…for me and Master PT to go behind enemy lines to watch the mighty Albion win our first ever Prem game against Fulham.

Bart Velters - Better Than Cannavaro - Dunky - Perv Carlos - Yas, Sir! Alan Minter and John Conteh’s lad - Pedders - Mitoma-san Big Ev Subs (strongest in our history): Dat Man Handsome Matt Dutch Mats Lil T Steeley lad...

As a resident of Suffolk (albeit one who is fairly nauseated by “Town’s” new fans), I’ll go for… Ipswich Town. 8-0. Eze season ending injury; Guehi subbed at half time, punches Glasschin and then drives up the A1 (via the A14) where he takes a suite at the Malmaison in Newcastle in...

Lols! Don’t worry, chap, Master PT and I have done this a few times before. We poker face the hell out of it. Re Dunky…how very dare you.

A rollicking, roller-coaster, seat-of-your-pants, nail-biting, end-to-end, cliché-ridden slug-fest of a 2-2 draw. Shirley Bassey’s lad will open the scoring for the home side (38) before Dat Guy Welbz heads us back to parity (44). After the break, Harry Wilson’s War will seemingly give the...

👏🏼 Great ad! Just googled when it was on: 1989. God, I feel old (because I am!).

Accrington Stanley at home. Because…I don’t think we’ve ever played them.

He was terrific. Although I suspect he wouldn’t have been quite so influential if Carlos had been playing. Big unit and pacey with great ball control. And, as others have already noted, he’s got a bit of an edge to him which I also like. Big future. Not at Stains though.