[Humour] 'What The Public Really Want To Hear Is.....'

[Eeyore]

As another crisis hits the government's many faces, the inevitable sponge of ''What the public really want to hear is.....' will doubtless wipe the residue and the silliness of accountability will slide away as our attentions are re-focused on what really matters.

But the question is.

What DO the public want to hear ?

Ben White in the starting line-up on Tuesday ?

When a sign says roadworks on the motorway that there might be an indication that some work is actually going on ?

Quality Street produced with a least 25% being the purple wrappers ?

What is it that we want to play such sweet music to our ears ?

 

[Barham's tash]

Personally announcement of a 4 day week to improve productivity and work life balance.

Financial relief back dated to beginning of the pandemic for those who took the plunge, like my wife, and started their own business in January last year only to be told when lockdown stopped her working (she’s a reflexologist/holistic therapist) sorry because you weren’t doing this for the previous 3 years there is NO financial support for you.

Better accountability for the shocking way the NHS were forced to down tools on critical care* for non Covid patients at the time of the pandemic as I certainly feel my brother in law might still be here if that wasn’t the case.

*this then led to hundreds of specialist doctors twiddling their thumbs as their patients died or conditions worsened to such an extent that we now have a backlog on critical care pathways akin to ten years underinvestment.

Sorry I know that’s all a bit me me me. But lack of sleep and lots of thinking time last night!

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

In vaguely unrelated news, do cab drivers, big rig drivers and Range Rover drivers know something the rest of us don’t in ignoring the speed restrictions through motorway roadworks that are overseen by average speed check cameras?

 

[Icy Gull]

You can go to the Amex and watch the mighty Albion play in front of 30k fans, that will mean that so many other things are going well too.

 

[AmexRuislip]

That the HS2 is actually a conservation exercise, to build tunnels across the UK for the animals to use, so they don't get hit by drunk drivers....

 

[m@goo]

That the government and monarchy has been overthrown and we've put Sir David Attenborough in charge.

 

[Swansman]

... I'm the Scatman!
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub

 

[el punal]

As another crisis hits the government's many faces, the inevitable sponge of ''What the public really want to hear is.....' will doubtless wipe the residue and the silliness of accountability will slide away as our attentions are re-focused on what really matters.

But the question is.

What DO the public want to hear ?

Ben White in the starting line-up on Tuesday ?

When a sign says roadworks on the motorway that there might be an indication that some work is actually going on ?

Quality Street produced with a least 25% being the purple wrappers ?

What is it that we want to play such sweet music to our ears ?

Amazing scenes at the Amex as Brighton and Hove Albion are crowned Premier League Champions for the 2021/22 season with a record number of wins, unbeaten, and the highest ever number of goals scored.

 

[Westdene Seagull]

Kelly Brook to be in Hangleton for the night. The public would love to hear that .... well everyone bar Mrs WS

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

You can go to the Amex and watch the mighty Albion play in front of 30k fans.

More accurately:
28k at kickoff
24.5k from 35 minutes to halftime
26k and decreasing rapidly from 75 minutes.

 

[zefarelly]

That the HS2 is actually a conservation exercise, to build tunnels across the UK for the animals to use, so they don't get hit by drunk drivers....

I'd prefer the Euro way, build bridges and tunnels, leave nature largely to their own devices.

 

[zefarelly]

Personally announcement of a 4 day week to improve productivity and work life balance.


Sorry I know that’s all a bit me me me. But lack of sleep and lots of thinking time last night!

I did 2 months of 4 day week, got loads of work done on the house at home, daog walkes, down time, workshop time etc, it really is the nuts compared to a 5 day week. If I could negotiate an extra 1/2hr a day and a small pay cut for a 4 day week I'd be in like FLynn

Several colleagues approaching or past first retirement do 3 and 4 day weeks. It is the way forward.

It seems to fit the bill financially as well, a lot of people can't afford to fully retire, but are at an age where they probably don't need the stress and strain of a 5 day week

 

[A1X]

"Piers Morgan today announced his immediate and total withdrawal from public life"

 

[Robinjakarta]

"Boris Johnson today announced his immediate and total withdrawal from public life"

Corrected.

 

[Knocky's Nose]

"In an unprecedented interview with an actual Virus today COVID 19 declared it was bored and wanted to go back to the Lab in Wuhan where it was safe and warm..."

 

[Blue Valkyrie]

What I really want to hear of is a cabinet level resignation.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

'We' are far too diverse for there to be one (or even 5) things that we are all hankering for above all others.

Unfortunately however there does still seem to be a majority (shrinking I hope) that really want to hear nothing more than these five jems....

1. We have a world-beating vaccination programme

2. Freedom day is just around the corner

3. We shouldn't be talking this great country down

4. Controlling our borders, free to trade with whoever we like

5. Whereas under Corbyn Labour.....

 

[studio150]

What DO the public want to hear ?

The truth from politicians combined with no false promises.
And although it's probably asking too much, politicians always to give full answers to the question asked.

Oh and,

Toblerone reverts back to the its original shape.
Snickers and other chocolate bars revert back to their original names.
All football games that are moved from 3pm Saturday and 7.45pm on Tuesday/Wednesday for television coverage become free games for all fans attending and refunds are issued with 24 hours of the fame.
No more serious of Mrs Browns Boys are aired and all existing shows are wiped clean never to be shown again.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

... I'm the Scatman!
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub

Your mastery of the Gaelic tongue is second to none

 

[Barham's tash]

The truth from politicians combined with no false promises.
And although it's probably asking too much, politicians always to give full answers to the question asked.

Oh and,

Toblerone reverts back to the its original shape.
Snickers and other chocolate bars revert back to their original names.
All football games that are moved from 3pm Saturday and 7.45pm on Tuesday/Wednesday for television coverage become free games for all fans attending and refunds are issued with 24 hours of the fame.
No more serious of Mrs Browns Boys are aired and all existing shows are wiped clean never to be shown again.

Have you considered running for office?!