[Humour] Funny or interesting work anecdotes

[Albalbion]

Having read the stories from happypig on the 'Crufts Miracles' thread, i was pretty amused and wanted to hear more. It made me think, everyone has a good anecdote from work at some point or other so lets hear them.

Ill start, I work for a Student Accommodation company. Twice now I have been called to some idiot student's room to unblock a sink only to find after braving the disgusting washing up and filthy water that pollutes their sinks... that they've left the plug in

We had another student who was in a rush to go out and his jeans weren't quite dry yet, so he followed a thoroughly logical path which led him to putting his jeans in the microwave this obviously led the microwave to catch fire, at which point he pulled his flaming jeans out, where does he put them though? In the sink? The shower? The empty metal bin he had next to the door? All far too good options, so he plumped for the wardrobe, which promptly caught fire too Students, they're the future you know!

Anyone else got some amusing stories from their lines of work??

 

[Barham's tash]

See Bellcheeses at work thread ->

Bell Cheeses at work
https://r.tapatalk.com/shareLink?sh...chat.com/showthread.php?t=301768&share_type=t




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[Albalbion]

See Bellcheeses at work thread ->

Bell Cheeses at work
https://r.tapatalk.com/shareLink?sh...chat.com/showthread.php?t=301768&share_type=t




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I have seen and actively contributed to that thread, wasn't really looking for stories about annoying fat women who eat crisps too loudly though...

 

[Barham's tash]

I have seen and actively contributed to that thread, wasn't really looking for stories about annoying fat women who eat crisps too loudly though...

Fair dos!

Still think students would make an excellent addition to it as they are definitely often Bell cheeses


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[Albalbion]

Fair dos!

Still think students would make an excellent addition to it as they are definitely often Bell cheeses


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

you have no idea had another one trying to wash his kettle completely submerged in his sink, while it was still plugged in.... kept tripping the fuse and didnt understand why

 

[Coldeanseagull]

Don't confuse intelligence with common sense. The ones you have to watch out for are those with neither!

 

[happypig]

Don't confuse intelligence with common sense. The ones you have to watch out for are those with neither!

Talking of kettles...

I once got asked to assist a friend of my mum's. She, and her husband were both universtity lecturers and their kettle had broken. They went and bought a new one but it needed a new plug putting on it and neither of them had a clue.

 

[pearl]

I was on the train from Brighton to Lewes one morning with the usual mix of school kids and brainy Uni students.
At Falmer the Uni students went to get off, but as the doors didn't open they just stood there.
The school kids started to snigger.
The uni students walked down the train to an open door.
A school boy got up and pressed the OPEN button.
(it was funny at the time)

 

[Whitechapel]

One of the shift leaders at my last job bought a fair amount of cocaine to sell, did all of it over 2 weeks including smoking a fair amount of it. He didn’t come in for those two weeks or the following week. When he finally came back he spent 4 hours straight in a toilet cubicle and then went home again.

 

[BN9 BHA]

Having read the stories from happypig on the 'Crufts Miracles' thread, i was pretty amused and wanted to hear more. It made me think, everyone has a good anecdote from work at some point or other so lets hear them.

Ill start, I work for a Student Accommodation company. Twice now I have been called to some idiot student's room to unblock a sink only to find after braving the disgusting washing up and filthy water that pollutes their sinks... that they've left the plug in

We had another student who was in a rush to go out and his jeans weren't quite dry yet, so he followed a thoroughly logical path which led him to putting his jeans in the microwave this obviously led the microwave to catch fire, at which point he pulled his flaming jeans out, where does he put them though? In the sink? The shower? The empty metal bin he had next to the door? All far too good options, so he plumped for the wardrobe, which promptly caught fire too Students, they're the future you know!

Anyone else got some amusing stories from their lines of work??

Howling at this.

Reminds me of the time when I worked for a company that did heating maintenance.
I was told to go to a rental flat that didn't have any heating or hot water, the flat was shared by 4 students.
They had piled up so much rubbish in the kitchen it had reached the electricity supply switch that isolated the boiler, and turned off the switch

 

[Wozza]

A director at a publishing company I used to work for, phoned IT, exasperated that he couldn't save his work onto floppy disk*.

When the IT guy arrived he discovered the director had put a disk in the slot in the computer case... but there wasn't actually a drive behind the slot.

IT bloke opened the case... and discovered a PILE of disks inside.

* Ask your dad

 

[Albalbion]

Howling at this.

Reminds me of the time when I worked for a company that did heating maintenance.
I was told to go to a rental flat that didn't have any heating or hot water, the flat was shared by 4 students.
They had piled up so much rubbish in the kitchen it had reached the electricity supply switch that isolated the boiler, and turned off the switch

hahaha that is superb

UOTE]

 

[Albalbion]

A director at a publishing company I used to work for, phoned IT, exasperated that he couldn't save his work onto floppy disk*.

When the IT guy arrived he discovered the director had put a disk in the slot in the computer case... but there wasn't actually a drive behind the slot.

IT bloke opened the case... and discovered a PILE of disks inside.

* Ask your dad

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Couple of years ago I worked on a giant IT project incl large number of offshore kiddies. Young Indian lad had Secret Santa explained to him. Drew Bernadette, a fierce Irish lady. Indian lad's knowledge of UK Christian names was understandably patchy. And worked on a different part of the project from Bernadette. However, he DID know that the guy with the big moustache who ran the deli across the the road was called Bernard. So young Indian guy put two and two together and... Bernadette was WAY less than happy to receive a shaving kit in front of about ninety people

 

[Brovion]

A director at a publishing company I used to work for, phoned IT, exasperated that he couldn't save his work onto floppy disk*.

When the IT guy arrived he discovered the director had put a disk in the slot in the computer case... but there wasn't actually a drive behind the slot.

IT bloke opened the case... and discovered a PILE of disks inside.

* Ask your dad

Talking of old technology ...

Two of our younger members of staff, both intelligent, both in their mid-20s had to send a fax. They found the fax machine (it's near me) and I could see them pushing buttons and waving paper around, and also glancing towards me. Eventually one came over and said sheepishly "Don't take this the wrong way, but you're a bit older than us aren't you? Do you know how a fax machine works? We've never seen one before!"

 

[Dick Swiveller]

Many years ago, I started a job which was part of a new team so 6 of us started around the same time. One woman we had spoken to several times sounded exactly like Jo Brand. One colleague who had never spoken to her picked up on this bit of information and at our first meet up, he strode up and said "You must be Jane - they all told me you LOOK like Jo Brand".

 

[marcos3263]

I used to work for a letting agency and any number of stories.

We were called a lot with tenants moaning that things were broken or not working especially after they had just moved in so we knew they were working from the inventory etc. Quite often I would go to the property and flick a switch and it would magically work.
One was a lovely property with a fully integrated kitchen where the dishwasher didn't work - it was due to the tenants resting a chopping board against the switch.
A macerating toilet stopped working as they had turned off the switch in the hallway as they didn't like the red light (clearly marked do not turn off) - toilet waste had backed up into the shower tray.....
A lovely couple had been living in a flat for 3 weeks when they finally admitted they didn't know how to turn the shower on - I went up and pulled a chord right next to the shower and hey presto.

However these are the usual boring stories. I have also walked in on people masturbating, naked, scheduled inspections with lines of coke on mirrors in the living room, sex toys lying about etc.

Quite a few ladies are very proud to be pregnant or mothers and so I have seen naked photos, plaster casts or bellys or full bodies, drawings etc. celebrating motherhood and the female form. All very nice and all that but when I am going round for an inspection and I am then in their bedroom suddenly looking at them and them naked it is a little weird - I never knew what to say when confronted with them in all their glory.

 

[pearl]

A couple of friends did some contract cleaning together. They were sent to some flats to clean the communal hallway. The address was 8 ?? Street. On arrival they saw the front door was open. They mopped the floor etc. and spray air freshener and prepared to leave. A young bloke came out of a flat to thank them, all excited like.
As they shut the front door they spotted it was number 10 ?? Street, they'd just cleaned a random hallway.

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

Manager's quote: "opinions are like ar$eholes - everyone's got one!"

 

[Algernon]

A salesman at one of my previous jobs was thrown out of his B&B for cooking some fresh fish wrapped in tin foil on the bulb of his bedside lamp.
I don't know what specifically gave the game away and caused his eviction though.