Have you ever wet yourself?

[Paris]

*As an adult.

During this brief transfer lull. Come on, give us a few stories. Let's be havin' you! Shit yourself? Why not

 

[Springal]

A friend of mine once had an incident at a festival where he had consumed various drinks and stuff. He mis-judged how long it might take him to get out of the tent, to the toilets while also realising he needed a wee much more than he first thought. While he didn't wet himself, he did have to jog along with his todger out to the queue to the bogs..

 

[LU7 RED]

If it's drink related - loads will have, surely!!

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

Few years ago a work colleague had been to the gym and done his usual caffeine and lots of water intake pre/post gym ritual, got straight in his car for a journey to his parents (Sussex to Berkshire) traffic jam hell, sat stuck in stationary motorway traffic he purposefully pissed himself through his trousers soaking the driver's seat, which, being fabric soaked it up. The car later got sold to another work colleague who was unaware of the car's pistory.

 

[Goldstone1976]

Occasionally, at night when dreaming.

 

[Wrong-Direction]

My mates flat in hove has a toilet out on the communal landing, woke up in the early hours after a night out desperately trying to find his keys, the kitchen sink had to do

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[Taybha]

Yes , at least you know your girlfriend/boyfriend loves you , and knows where you are .

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Spud! They're MA sheets!

 

[Tokyohands]

I tried pissing in the washing machine when I came home smashed one time, fell over backwards and pissed all over myself instead. Another time I got home early morning and started pissing in the kitchen bin. My mrs heard me crashing about and called down if everything was ok, so I shouted back " yeah fine just pissing in the bin" and she went back to sleep. She thought I was joking, until mid morning when she discovered the bin bag half full of piss and woke me up rather unimpressed! We are still married.....

 

[DavidRyder]

Years ago I had to have an x-ray and was told to drink plenty of fluids - and plenty is what I drank. A drive later, and the knowing that my appt was imminent, so was the need to set forth the urine. So when I got there I asked if i could use the loo as i was feeling ill with it. I think I more or less managed to at least pull down the trousers and pants before randomly spraying in the toilet cubicle. I think the pants might have copped a bit of the initial outpouring - but what a relief!

 

[BNthree]

After a 12 pints & shots sort of night I did indeed piss myself in my sleep. My Mrs, who was in the bed at the time, was not too happy and still cusses me about it even though it was YEARS ago.

 

[Westdene Seagull]

I tried pissing in the washing machine when I came home smashed one time, fell over backwards and pissed all over myself instead. Another time I got home early morning and started pissing in the kitchen bin. My mrs heard me crashing about and called down if everything was ok, so I shouted back " yeah fine just pissing in the bin" and she went back to sleep. She thought I was joking, until mid morning when she discovered the bin bag half full of piss and woke me up rather unimpressed! We are still married.....

Years ago I had a couple of mates in the RAF. When they came home after heavy sessions they would both piss in the wardrobe - I can only assume it was an RAF thing. One even once pissed of the stereo - strangely his wife was more annoyed about that than the regular pisses in the wardrobe.

 

[Gabbafella]

Never wet myself, but when I was about 12, I told my mum I wasn't feeling very well and managed to get a day off school. Didn't actually feel that bad and starting feeling better as the day went on.
About 3:45 as my sister and her mate walked in from school, I did the brotherly thing and tried to show her how manly I was by squeezing out an epic fart........it was like someone had turned on a food processor and not put the lid on! What made it worse was the Bermuda shorts I was wearing.
I ended up looking like the shit monster from dogma, head to toe in the stuff, moving slowly with my arms out like a zombie and crying while my sister and friend were doubled over in fits of laughter, mum gagging as she attempted to shower me.
Bad times.

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

My mate at the cricket club had his 60th a couple of years back and we were in the clubhouse bar early and the beer was flowing.
I can vaguely remember getting up in the night for a piss and standing by the door thinking it was a urinal - blamed the dog in the morning ....

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

Never wet myself, but when I was about 12, I told my mum I wasn't feeling very well and managed to get a day off school. Didn't actually feel that bad and starting feeling better as the day went on.
About 3:45 as my sister and her mate walked in from school, I did the brotherly thing and tried to show her how manly I was by squeezing out an epic fart........it was like someone had turned on a food processor and not put the lid on! What made it worse was the Bermuda shorts I was wearing.
I ended up looking like the shit monster from dogma, head to toe in the stuff, moving slowly with my arms out like a zombie and crying while my sister and friend were doubled over in fits of laughter, mum gagging as she attempted to shower me.
Bad times.

. Similarly I managed to curl out a titanic chocolate log while stuck in a line at primary school in my first year. Vague memories of being cleaned up in the bogs by a saintly female classroom assistant who lived near my parents and who I would regularly bump into around town for the next fifteen years or so.

 

[Giraffe]

A friend of mine

a work colleague

My mate
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I had a couple of mates

My mate

An interesting and not surprising trend here.....

We all know what you mean.

 

[Wrong-Direction]

An interesting and not surprising trend here.....

We all know what you mean.

I admit it was me in my mates flat!

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[greyseagull]

I shit myself once when I was 25, and managed to get it on the ceiling in the process.

But that's a story for another thread.

 

[Insel affe]

Not wet myself but....

When I was 9 years old at St Marys primary school in Dachet I had diarrhoea and was very unwell, the school called my step mum who was home but unable to drive, so the Headmaster kindly offered to drop me home in his nice new Austin Princess....

You know what happened all over the back seat.....

Hated that school.

 

[Petee]

I tried pissing in the washing machine when I came home smashed one time, fell over backwards and pissed all over myself instead. Another time I got home early morning and started pissing in the kitchen bin. My mrs heard me crashing about and called down if everything was ok, so I shouted back " yeah fine just pissing in the bin" and she went back to sleep. She thought I was joking, until mid morning when she discovered the bin bag half full of piss and woke me up rather unimpressed! We are still married.....

Never wet myself, but when I was about 12, I told my mum I wasn't feeling very well and managed to get a day off school. Didn't actually feel that bad and starting feeling better as the day went on.
About 3:45 as my sister and her mate walked in from school, I did the brotherly thing and tried to show her how manly I was by squeezing out an epic fart........it was like someone had turned on a food processor and not put the lid on! What made it worse was the Bermuda shorts I was wearing.
I ended up looking like the shit monster from dogma, head to toe in the stuff, moving slowly with my arms out like a zombie and crying while my sister and friend were doubled over in fits of laughter, mum gagging as she attempted to shower me.
Bad times.

Not wet myself but....

When I was 9 years old at St Marys primary school in Dachet I had diarrhoea and was very unwell, the school called my step mum who was home but unable to drive, so the Headmaster kindly offered to drop me home in his nice new Austin Princess....

You know what happened all over the back seat.....

Hated that school.

These have made me nearly wee myself!!!