Christmas Is Rubbish

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Serves you right for being green.

Too right! Last time they get MY vote in the local elections! Bastards!

 

[Pot noodles for everyone]

The Gods of Christmas they mock me! 365 days a year I visit that off-licence on average. On 364 of those days the bottom doesn't fall out of my carrier bag, drenching the once-a-year shoppers in festive foamy beer. Sake!

You visit the off licence every day of the year?

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

You visit the off licence every day of the year?

No. Sometimes I visit twice a day. Other times I'm away on holiday. You?

 

[Pot noodles for everyone]

Twice a month

 

[ifuhatepalacestandup]

Twice a month

but it takes him 2 days to unload the truck

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

So as not to completely waste the day, and In the interests of science, may as well report on the results of my inadvertent testing of the breaking strength of beer bottles dropped from an approximate height of 0.75 metres:

Duvel, 330ml, 8.5% Alc./Vol. - Zero breakage. Contents intact, who a trifle lively when finally opened

Brothers Festival Pear Cider, 500ml, ALC 7% VOL - Single clean breakage at base of bottle neck

Beck's, 66cl, alc. 5% vol - Impressive smashage over wide area. Tiny shards of glass distributed over several metres

I can understand the Duvel - top choice - but what in the goddarn name of hellach were you thinking buying the other two?!?!

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

I can understand the Duvel - top choice - but what in the goddarn name of hellach were you thinking buying the other two?!?!

Meh! More impressive array of beers than many on here could muster. IMHO, like

 

[Arkwright]

Being a humble shop keeper I would have taken your misfortune as an opportunity to get a double whammy on the shop takings. Your off license is a lot more generous than me. I would also have taken it as an opportunity for a customer to clean the shop floor.

Bottles always double bag and stuff the environment your booze is far more important.

Enjoy your festive drinks.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Being a humble shop keeper I would have taken your misfortune as an opportunity to get a double whammy on the shop takings. Your off license is a lot more generous than me. I would also have taken it as an opportunity for a customer to clean the shop floor.

Bottles always double bag and stuff the environment your booze is far more important.

Enjoy your festive drinks.

Cheers mate

To be honest, as a humble and regular customer, I DID actually grab the mop and bucket and do the mop/bucket business for a little while. Ludicrously, for the only day this year I've been in there, the guy had a ratio of a dozen customers to zero assistants/family members. Normally its the other way round. So he either had the option of closing the shop on prob one of his top three busiest days of the year while he cleared up a shop swimming in a mess of my making, or I chipped in and did the decent thing. To be honest, I was probably in a case of mild shock from the point where I surveyed a sea of foam and broken glass through the bottom of my carrier bag and muttered 'Well, it's never done THAT before...'

 

[Napper]

Spac Hands ?

 

[Woodchip]

Spac Hands ?

Probably the DTs.

 

[Driver 8]

Always ask for a double bag job

Costs 10p to do that in Wales!