Team Building nonsense, this Saturday!

[Woodchip]

There is a bus from the venue back to Eastleigh at midnight, and the company have sent an e-mail round five minutes ago saying that they will pay for taxis home from there.

Luckily I am getting a lift there and back with my immediate boss, so will hopefully escape straight after [hopefully] watching the rugger.

Are you in a financially stable enough position that you could get fired by Saturday without having to get a job straight away. It may be your only option.

 

[British Bulldog]

Other than putting half your workforce out with colds and pulled muscles are there any real benefits to these team building exercises?

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Are you in a financially stable enough position that you could get fired by Saturday without having to get a job straight away. It may be your only option.

I don't think Mrs Kraay would be too chuffed if I quit my job of 12 years over not gettting to watch the soccerball!

Sadly [well, not sadly, but you know what I mean] I actually have a really good job, that I enjoy, and want to stay in! this is the first such nonsense they've ever pulled, so I won't do anything hasty. If it becomes a habit, mind.......

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Other than putting half your workforce out with colds and pulled muscles are there any real benefits to these team building exercises?

I'll let you know on Monday.

 

[Woodchip]

I don't think Mrs Kraay would be too chuffed if I quit my job of 12 years over not gettting to watch the soccerball!

Sadly [well, not sadly, but you know what I mean] I actually have a really good job, that I enjoy, and want to stay in! this is the first such nonsense they've ever pulled, so I won't do anything hasty. If it becomes a habit, mind.......

It was worth a shot.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

I've just re-read the itinerary, and it's WORSE than I thought;

Company Conference - Re-Boost!

13 October 2007

Programme



Saturday, 13 October 2007 dress code: very comfortable
including clothing for rain,
trainers welcome
09.00 Meet at Office, Eastleigh

09.30 Coach departing from office to conference venue

Check-in at Latimer Conference Centre

Refreshments in Coffee Lounge of Latimer Conference Centre

11.30 Start of general Company Conference in Cormorant Suite, Latimer Conference Centre

13.00 Finger buffet lunch in Coffee Lounge of Latimer Conference Centre (seating in
Cormorant Restaurant and TV/Bar Lounges)

14.00 Briefing outside Latimer Conference Centre for afternoon activities



19.30 Reception in Cavendish Library dress code: very smart
and adjoining Lounges in Latimer House

20.00 Dinner in Courtyard Restaurant, Latimer House

from 21.30 Entertainment in Games Room and Burlington Suite, Latimer House

00.00 Transport back to Eastleigh office


On the plus side, I note the existance of a TV lounge. Sadly, dinner is served at 8pm so I'm going to miss the rugger anyhows.

 

[Buzzer]

What constitutes 'very smart'?

Black tie & DJ?

...and 'entertainment' - that's a disco, that is. Macarena for the ladies, House of Fun for the blokes with Come on Eileen and oops Upside your Head to really get the party going.

Oh joy!!

 

[British Bulldog]

Sod that for a game of tin soldiers, If my company tried to send me on one of those team building excersises they'd be told to go forth and multiply. Any team building we do is confined to the pub after work!

 

[hans kraay fan club]

What constitutes 'very smart'?

Black tie & DJ?

...and 'entertainment' - that's a disco, that is. Macarena for the ladies, House of Fun for the blokes with Come on Eileen and oops Upside your Head to really get the party going.

Oh joy!!

I have e-mailed the author of that 'programme' to enquire as to what the hell 'very smart' means, but got no response. Is it formal? Is it your best Fred Perry, nicely ironed? Who knows! there is a mix of people from warehousemen to national sales directors too, so I'm guessing that their collective take on 'very smart' will be interesting. I shall be wearing a suit, sadly.

I am hoping that the entertainment will invole ping-pong balls and smoke-rings, but I guess your suggestion is more likely!

 

[Tesco in Disguise]

no sympathy, 'management'.

 

[Uncle Buck]

no sympathy, 'management'.

Are you just fishing for a reaction?

 

[Gully]

Hans, make your point by wearing a nice clean England rugby shirt to dinner.

 

[Woodchip]

Get a friend to text you the score, and on the first occasion that England score a point jump on the table and start singing Swing Low.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Get a friend to text you the score, and on the first occasion that England score a point jump on the table and start singing Swing Low.

Not a bad shout, that.

I could also show them all what a proper rugger-bugger type I am by drinking a pint of someone's vomit and shoving a broomstick up the new boy's arse.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

no sympathy, 'management'.

Is everybody with 'manager' in their job title a wanker then?

 

[Theatre of Trees]

trainers welcome

You allowed to take your own personal coaches with you!

Do you have a works canteen? If so would it be possible to bribe one of the assistants to put something in the lunch to ensure mass food poisoning?

 

[Gully]

...but to tell you which food they put it into, so you can fake the symptoms.

 

[Theatre of Trees]

...but to tell you which food they put it into, so you can fake the symptoms.

Definitely not. Not only does it assure you of missing a few days and the team building exercise but you will also be flat out on a sofa for the entire weekend meaning you can do little else but watch the football and rugby whilst getting concerned spouses to wait hand and foot for all your needs.

 

[Hiney]

My experience of such 'team building' exercises is that generally, far from BUILDING team spirit, the very announcement of the 'event' has the effect of pissing everyone off. The various activities, designed to demonstrate how well different people work together, invariably end in people HATING each other even more, especially as it's usually the company WANKER who tries to take charge of the raft-building.

There will inevitably be an embarrassing Monday morning conversation:

"I know I sucked you off and all that but you won't say nuffing will you?"

"Sorry love. I don't know how it happened but it's on youtube already"

 

[SICKASAGULL]

Chez
I dont know what line of work your on,but with that attitude you will not progress far.