[Humour] Punchlines that don't need the build up

[Hamilton]

You said that without moving your lips.

Whey hey, sunshine!

 

[Hamilton]

Four candles

Absolute classic!

 

[jcdenton08]

GASMAN!!!

 

[jcdenton08]

Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb

 

[Hamilton]

A wafer-thin mint sir?

 

[PILTDOWN MAN]

We're going to need a bigger boat!

That needs a lot of explaining.

You are going to need a bigger boat.

Does not

 

[raymondo]

No, it's pronounced 'bouquet'

 

[jcdenton08]

No, it's pronounced 'bouquet'

Mind the cow, Richard

 

[Brian Munich]

Bus wankers!

 

[Gabbafella]

And don't call me Shirley.

 

[BadFish]

Monkey Tennis

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

You’re ard

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

Monkey Tennis

Was going to suggest “Inner City Sumo” with Chas and Dave

 

[AmexRuislip]

That needs a lot of explaining.

You are going to need a bigger boat.

Does not

You are a pedant

 

[PILTDOWN MAN]

You are a pedant

I write pub quizzes and often do a round on famous misquotes.

Such things as “Beam me up, Scotty” was never said in Star Trek.

 

[jcdenton08]

…sometimes the claims will be false

 

[Sid and the Sharknados]

And I for one, welcome our new insect overlords.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Pretenious, moi?

Clearly not.

 

[jcdenton08]

Clearly not.

It’s a Fawlty Towers gag

 

[GrizzlingGammon]

Strawberry jam and fish paste sandwiches.