[Misc] Do you do a fart walk 🤔

[AmexRuislip]

What the heck is a fart walk?

Exercise is beneficial. This practice is no different, physicians say

www.independent.co.uk

“Crop dusting” the patio, avenue or boardwalk can improve intestinal function, according to Dr. Tim Tiutan, an internal medicine physician at New York City’s Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center.

I thought blokes had been doing this for years

 

[Jack Straw]

I don't know what all the noise is about?

 

[Is it PotG?]

Apple have got wind of this, soon to bring out a daily fart count app.

 

[Withdean South Stand]

I have been supporting this practice long before it was medically recommended.

 

[METALMICKY]

And risk 'following through ' in public!

 

[Lord Charles]

Guilty m'lud. I must have a very healthy intestinal function....

 

[Muzzman]

The real question is when do I NOT fart walk?

 

[Justice]

Always try and beat your own record in fart steps I’m up to about 4 on a good day

 

[BLOCK F]

This is probably why my wife’s granny lived to 102. Every time she got out of her chair and took a couple of steps, she would fart in time with the steps! My dad also lived to 102 and was also prone to farting upon arising from his chair, regardless of taking any steps or not. As a GP, I now wonder whether he ever gave his patients this advice!

 

[Mr Bridger]

More fart jogging after a few beers and a ruby.

 

[Oh_aye]

Surely very dangerous to do at a certain age?

My approach - walk down the street, feel a fart coming on. Stop, but so as not to look like a nutter, performatively turn back and hold my chin as if to suggest 'hmmmm did I leave my glasses at home?' , this in turn allows me to check the coast is clear at the rear. If it is, depth charges are away. Once the sub has been sunk, I do a visual exclamation as if to suggest 'nope! It's OK, they're in my pocket' before turning back to continue.

In the most decent and poetic explanation I can manage, this process: stops one shitting ones self.

 

[Albion my Albion]

Fart walks lead could lead to shart balks? crocs? socks (said with a Boston accent)?

 

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

At least now I don't have to blame the squeaky stairs up to the WSU for those noises.

 

[Withdean South Stand]

Surely very dangerous to do at a certain age?

My approach - walk down the street, feel a fart coming on. Stop, but so as not to look like a nutter, performatively turn back and hold my chin as if to suggest 'hmmmm did I leave my glasses at home?' , this in turn allows me to check the coast is clear at the rear. If it is, depth charges are away. Once the sub has been sunk, I do a visual exclamation as if to suggest 'nope! It's OK, they're in my pocket' before turning back to continue.

In the most decent and poetic explanation I can manage, this process: stops one shitting ones self.

You really must let go of your remaining pride! To be honest though, I do have a 3 farts rule. I won't have a fourth until I'm comfortably sat on a john somewhere but this rule can be brought in a bit if the odor is an absolute outrage. But only I can be the decision maker there, I don't want/need to hear from anyone else. I know what it's time to pay a visit.

 

[Albion my Albion]

Which leads me to the only rhyme that makes true sense when used from the Chunnel area:

I see London, I see France, I see someone's underpants.

 

[Whoislloydy]

Apple have got wind of this, soon to bring out a daily fart count app.

Introducing the new Apple iButtplug

 

[Eeyore]

I normally save my loudest to reverberate around the corridor when walking through my flats. The worst one I ever did was when we were all queuing to get off an plane. I actually felt bad about that one, even more so than any upon leaving a lift.

I cannot help it. Farts are funny.

 

[Denis]

Why do men and boys think f*rts are funny? As a mother of three boys, I’ve had to put up with many silly fart jokes etc.

 

[The Andy Naylor Fan Club]

 

[pearl]

Why do men and boys think f*rts are funny? As a mother of three boys, I’ve had to put up with many silly fart jokes etc.

Because it's a funny noise, makes a smell and comes from their bum