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[Albion] Thank you so much to the fan who helped my autistic son yesterday...



Reinelt12

Sick Note
Nov 8, 2006
1,305
Lichfield, United Kingdom
A little background...

My wife and elder son are Saints fans, along with my sister in law and niece and nephew... my youngest son (12 and autistic) and I are BHA fans, so this game means a little more to us than most. We have a season ticket and travel to home games from north of Birmingham, and yesterday we all travelled down for the Saints game. They had tickets in home end, and I got tickets for youngest son and I in the away end.

I didn't really figure it out when buying the tickets, but we were right next to the Saints fans, and anyone who was in that vicinity yesterday will know that it was absolute carnage pretty much all game, and especially after our goal.

During the first half there was some standard having a go from both sides, although a couple of fans heard some homophobic chanting I believe and was trying to draw the attention of the police to this, to which they didn't appear to have much success (the policeman seemed to be more worried about one of them leaning over to talk to the stewards/police rather than the actual abuse directed at our fans). Son was coping alright with all this and was pretty much standing there quietly watching the game (he has been fine at pretty much all the games we have been to home or away, I asked him if he wanted to try to move somewhere else, not sure where, the end was packed - but he was adamant he wanted to stay so we did.)

2nd half, and one of the policemen shout across to me and ask me if my son had thrown anything into the home end... I'm confused, as I know he hasn't... and the policeman said that he had been told by multiple Saints fans that he had... he didn't believe it himself as he thought it came from further down, but he had to ask me - all very strange. Then a few of their fans got dragged out, and things died down a little.

Cue the last minute, and our end going absolutely ballistic which of course was fantastic, for about a couple of minutes or so... then my son sits down and covers his ears and is clearly very distressed - his sensory issues have kicked in badly. Some saints fans at this point start pointing at him and laughing, singing at him (I mean, wtf, he is 12?!), one did mouth at me to ask if he was ok which was cool too to give balance. All I know at this point is somehow I need to get him out of there, so I try to get him through the crowd, but it's really tough as everyone staying put to clap off the team and sing... get to the stairs and someone says that no one is moving and we can't get out... at this point I shouted that my son was autistic and I just need to get him out of the situation.

Bloke who had said we couldn't get through then apologised for being abrupt and when the crowd started moving, he told my son to stay behind him and he literally ploughed his way through everyone to get him out as fast as possible.- top man! Others were also helping clear a path so we could get out too.

So essentially I hope those that witnessed this and helped, especially the person who cleared the way see this as a thank you - given the charged situation with the away end and everything going on, they could see a situation and did everything they could to help out - and for that I am very thankful. I did say thank you at the time, but sometimes we see a lot of negativity here on NSC about fans etc, and I wanted to highlight when something good has happened. He also recovered quite quickly once we were out of the stadium and the noise thankfully.

Note to self to buy him some ear defenders, and to check tickets aren't next to home supporters in future!!
 




Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
50,091
Faversham
Thanks for posting.

Everyone has the right to be able to attend a football match. That's ground zero. Never forget that.

:thumbsup:
 


Green Cross Code Man

Wunt be druv
Mar 30, 2006
19,718
Eastbourne
I often work with autistic people, and I appreciate how hard that must have been for you and particularly for your son. I hope this doesn't affect his choices in the future and that you can both continue enjoying watching the Albion together.

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk
 


Reinelt12

Sick Note
Nov 8, 2006
1,305
Lichfield, United Kingdom
Thanks for posting.

Everyone has the right to be able to attend a football match. That's ground zero. Never forget that.

:thumbsup:

Absolutely, I was half expecting someone to reply with "What were you thinking, taking him to an away game if he has sensory issues" - but it isn't as simple as that, he loves watching games live (doesn't really watch on TV) - and mostly it isn't a problem when we go to matches, it's just this one got very toxic and was all too much in the end.
 


timbha

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
9,901
Sussex
Nice post. I hope you and your son weren’t too smug on the journey home and he’s ok.
 




essbee1

Well-known member
Jun 25, 2014
4,133
Absolutely, I was half expecting someone to reply with "What were you thinking, taking him to an away game if he has sensory issues" - but it isn't as simple as that, he loves watching games live (doesn't really watch on TV) - and mostly it isn't a problem when we go to matches, it's just this one got very toxic and was all too much in the end.

To be completely honest, I've been to away matches for >25 years and I found yesterday a little
unsettling and uncomfortable being wedged so closely between the Soton fans and having one exit down the bottom
of the stairs for a huge block. State of the art it ain't.
 


Reinelt12

Sick Note
Nov 8, 2006
1,305
Lichfield, United Kingdom
I often work with autistic people, and I appreciate how hard that must have been for you and particularly for your son. I hope this doesn't affect his choices in the future and that you can both continue enjoying watching the Albion together.

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk

Thank you - I hope so too, I want to make sure he is comfortable going and not just going to please his dad, so will have a chat to him about it and see what things we can do to make it easier for him in future (ear defenders etc.)
 


Durlston

"Garlic bread!?"
NSC Patron
Jul 15, 2009
9,765
Haywards Heath
My brother has autism and everything you described there, Reinelt12, rang a bell with very difficult social situations. I reckon he's an amazing boy. Bruv doesn't find going to his own residential care home Christmas party easy at all so I think you are both real heroes with all the frightening things going on from what I heard yesterday.

I hope he continues to enjoy watching the Albion and feels better after a very distressing experience. Best wishes to you both. :thumbsup:
 




B-right-on

Living the dream
Apr 23, 2015
6,176
Shoreham Beaaaach
Top marks to you as a dad to try and give your son as good a quality of life as possible.

And to the fans that reacted that way once they knew what was going on.

As you said, there's been lots said recently about the bad side of some fans, but nice to hear about good things that happen too.
 


Jul 7, 2003
8,622
Note to self to buy him some ear defenders, and to check tickets aren't next to home supporters in future!!

There is a company called Flare based in Lancing who make headphones and ear plugs. If you want something less obvious than ear defenders for him to wear but that take the edge off the noise, it might be worth having a look at these - https://www.flareaudio.com/collections/calmer/products/calmer-kids

Hopefully that will help his enjoyment of the Albion be even better (although I can't make us score more goals to excite him!)
 


PILTDOWN MAN

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 15, 2004
18,704
Hurst Green
A little background...

My wife and elder son are Saints fans, along with my sister in law and niece and nephew... my youngest son (12 and autistic) and I are BHA fans, so this game means a little more to us than most. We have a season ticket and travel to home games from north of Birmingham, and yesterday we all travelled down for the Saints game. They had tickets in home end, and I got tickets for youngest son and I in the away end.

I didn't really figure it out when buying the tickets, but we were right next to the Saints fans, and anyone who was in that vicinity yesterday will know that it was absolute carnage pretty much all game, and especially after our goal.

During the first half there was some standard having a go from both sides, although a couple of fans heard some homophobic chanting I believe and was trying to draw the attention of the police to this, to which they didn't appear to have much success (the policeman seemed to be more worried about one of them leaning over to talk to the stewards/police rather than the actual abuse directed at our fans). Son was coping alright with all this and was pretty much standing there quietly watching the game (he has been fine at pretty much all the games we have been to home or away, I asked him if he wanted to try to move somewhere else, not sure where, the end was packed - but he was adamant he wanted to stay so we did.)

2nd half, and one of the policemen shout across to me and ask me if my son had thrown anything into the home end... I'm confused, as I know he hasn't... and the policeman said that he had been told by multiple Saints fans that he had... he didn't believe it himself as he thought it came from further down, but he had to ask me - all very strange. Then a few of their fans got dragged out, and things died down a little.

Cue the last minute, and our end going absolutely ballistic which of course was fantastic, for about a couple of minutes or so... then my son sits down and covers his ears and is clearly very distressed - his sensory issues have kicked in badly. Some saints fans at this point start pointing at him and laughing, singing at him (I mean, wtf, he is 12?!), one did mouth at me to ask if he was ok which was cool too to give balance. All I know at this point is somehow I need to get him out of there, so I try to get him through the crowd, but it's really tough as everyone staying put to clap off the team and sing... get to the stairs and someone says that no one is moving and we can't get out... at this point I shouted that my son was autistic and I just need to get him out of the situation.

Bloke who had said we couldn't get through then apologised for being abrupt and when the crowd started moving, he told my son to stay behind him and he literally ploughed his way through everyone to get him out as fast as possible.- top man! Others were also helping clear a path so we could get out too.

So essentially I hope those that witnessed this and helped, especially the person who cleared the way see this as a thank you - given the charged situation with the away end and everything going on, they could see a situation and did everything they could to help out - and for that I am very thankful. I did say thank you at the time, but sometimes we see a lot of negativity here on NSC about fans etc, and I wanted to highlight when something good has happened. He also recovered quite quickly once we were out of the stadium and the noise thankfully.

Note to self to buy him some ear defenders, and to check tickets aren't next to home supporters in future!!

I'm glad you were able to get your son away from the situation, hopefully without any long lasting damage. Having two autistic grandchildren I can fully appreciate the issues you can have. I would love to take them to football but currently that is impossible.
 






Eeyore

Colonel Hee-Haw of Queen's Park
NSC Patron
Apr 5, 2014
23,572
Some clubs such as Arsenal have sensory rooms which I know have been welcomed by Autism charities.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sou...AQFnoECEAQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3CcGaDZcuLzCyT7_ahthvg
I don't know if Albion have one, but if not might be something to suggest to Paul Barber and co

Sent from my moto g(7) power using Tapatalk

We do. It's called the Inclusion Room. I think [MENTION=5392]Reinelt12[/MENTION] might be interested.

https://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-england-sussex-48099440

BBC feature
 
Last edited:


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
50,091
Faversham
Absolutely, I was half expecting someone to reply with "What were you thinking, taking him to an away game if he has sensory issues" - but it isn't as simple as that, he loves watching games live (doesn't really watch on TV) - and mostly it isn't a problem when we go to matches, it's just this one got very toxic and was all too much in the end.

Good man. You have my complete respect.
 




Fat Boy Fat

New member
Aug 21, 2020
1,077
Thanks for posting.

Everyone has the right to be able to attend a football match. That's ground zero. Never forget that.

:thumbsup:

I really appreciate the sentiment of your post, but I'm not sure it's anyone's "right" to attend a football match.

I have 2 autistic children, one of which is hyper sensitive to sudden noise, and sensitive to touch and feel and wouldn't wear ear defenders of any kind. Because of this I would never dream of taking him to a football match - yet I don't feel he is having his rights taken away - I just know he wouldn't cope in that situation.

Maybe we could teach the fans sign language instead of loud singing (no not THAT sign) and maybe jazz hands to replace clapping, otherwise you will never be able to give everyone their right to attend.

Instead of going to a game we just shout at the TV together...!

Sad, but true...
 




Thunder Bolt

Silly old bat
If you contact Customer Services, you can buy tickets which ensure you aren’t next to away fans. They deal with tickets for disabled and ambulant disabled fans, so should be able to help.
 


Reinelt12

Sick Note
Nov 8, 2006
1,305
Lichfield, United Kingdom
We do. It's called the Inclusion Room. I think [MENTION=5392]Reinelt12[/MENTION] might be interested.

https://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-england-sussex-48099440

BBC feature

Yes, and ironically our season tickets are right in front of it in the family stand! (We are right at the back) It's a great idea, and have seen many kids/adults use it during games.

Home games aren't an issue (we are too quiet in the family stand!), but it is definitely something to think about in the future should I need to, so thank you.
 




Reinelt12

Sick Note
Nov 8, 2006
1,305
Lichfield, United Kingdom
If you contact Customer Services, you can buy tickets which ensure you aren’t next to away fans. They deal with tickets for disabled and ambulant disabled fans, so should be able to help.

That's really useful to know, I won't be making that mistake again, that's for sure!
 




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