Worst Sexual experience

[ooh ah my arse is on fire]

A bird onced qweefed when on top of me!
I wasn't sure whether to laugh or puke!

Just thinking as a friend of mine owned up whilst drunk that he had cracked 1 off when much younger to a pic he found of his mother in her underwear. Must of been his dads pic who knows...more to the point yes his life is a living hell now we know but what is the good people on this site worst experience

Maybe we could rank them

 

[Husty]

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

Oh God I really really have to go out, I don't have time.

 

[Everest]

Your friend's not Adrie, is he?

 

[wehatepalace]

Your friend's not Adrie, is he?

 

[public school boy]

being f***ed my a Roman Catholic Priest.

 

[nwgull]

I once shagged a fat bird who had stubble on her tits.

 

[nwgull]

I also once shagged a bird (reasonable looking) from behind who had made a really bad effort of wiping her arse.

 

[herbicide]

I had a bird who used to like being shagged in the back of my Transit. She loved it when I would unscrew the radio arial and give her a few slaps on the arse with it at the same time.

The relationship didn't last. I got van aerial disease.

 

[The Wizard]

I had a bird who used to like being shagged in the back of my Transit. She loved it when I would unscrew the radio arial and give her a few slaps on the arse with it at the same time.

The relationship didn't last. I got van aerial disease.

 

[herbicide]

I thank yeeeeow.

 

[ooh ah my arse is on fire]

Sad to say but top marks for funny reply has to go to the Palace boy

 

[hastings]

A friend once when drunk claimed to have once stuck it up the piss hole (in his own words). For that, the piss is ripped out of him to this day. (no pun intended)
:mexican:

 

[Brownstuff]

I once shagged a fat bird who had stubble on her tits.

I must have shagged the same bird, apart from that they were nice tits though

 

[nwgull]

I must have shagged the same bird, apart from that they were nice tits though

Definitely not the same bird if you thought that they were nice tits apart from the stubble. The only thing going for them was the fact that they were, at the end of the day, a pair of bird's tits.

 

[The Peanut Roaster]

I had a bird who used to like being shagged in the back of my Transit.

Coq au vin.

 

[Everest]

Sad to say but top marks for funny reply has to go to the Palace boy

But he wasn't being funny

 

[Brownstuff]

Definitely not the same bird if you thought that they were nice tits apart from the stubble. The only thing going for them was the fact that they were, at the end of the day, a pair of bird's tits.

Well I had plenty of fun with them, had to give them a shave mind you half way through the night as they were sprouting

 

[public school boy]

I once shagged a fat bird who had stubble on her tits.

You've had my wife as well?

 

[mccraque]

During my days of quantity over quality I f@cked an absolute pig behind the Gloucester. It was freezing cold, I was smashed and coupled with the climate, I pretty much had to fold it in. Also her snatch STANK like a tub of rotting welks -

IT got worse......her husband phoned mid boffing and she answers!

"naah....I told ya - I'll be 'ome in a f***cking while, ya caaant" - classy

I then missed the nightbus home and was left with a large cab bill to foot on my own and despite repeated washing and scrubbing with my mothers nail brush, I could not get the smell from my fingers for about a week. My poor old digits honked like a bag of niknaks.

I still shudder when I think of that night.