Who has the Weirdest neighbour?

[GT49er]

I used to live next door to a middle aged woman who would openly masturbate on her sofa of an evening,curtains open (both sets!) and light on.Her lounge where she indulged in her self pleasure faced into her back garden which might explain why she was very popular with the men folk who had a house backing on to hers.

Is this the point where it is appropriate tosay, "This thread is useless without pictures"?

 

[brightonlass2009]

The house opposite has 2 grandparents (around 50ish) 4 children, and 2 grandchildren all living in a 2 bedroom house. Gotta be a bit mad to have that many relatives living in the same household, :S.
The grandmother also flashed my mum when she was working in her kitchen. The granddad gets up at 4am to move his car into a specific spot when it becomes free...
Oh and also they called the community support officers on us because they didn't like the fact we parked outside of their house.

 

[blue'n'white]

A former neighbour of mine used to sunbathe naked in the back garden.
After her husband left her she used to shag her boyfriends in the back garden
And no I don't have pictures !
She upped and went off to a commune in Devon

 

[jackalbion]

palace fan

 

[Webbzy]

Well since we moved there in 05 I've seen them like 10 times maximum and there front window has been smashed since 07, just don't know how people live that way, the otherwise consists of two people obsessed with their garden after every night they come outside and pick up every single leaf doesn't matter what the weathers like, pointless if you ask me haha.

 

[Jimmy Grimble]

A bloke over the road has a wheelbarrow type thing and a shed which are painted red with the word "JESUS" inscribed over them. He offers to clean neighbour's windows for £5.


And yes, he does look like Jesus.

 

[Postman Pat]

My neighbour objected against the stadium expansion.

He is a twunt.

 

[Racek]

We have this bloke called mike who is a freak he walks round in council uniform and is building a deb in the field for him and his dog I slept out in the street the other night to watch the bees as he thought the bees might attack everyone and woke this morning to find the funniest letter posted throught my letter box I'll post it up later

Yes please.

 

[Simster]

We used to get on with our neighbours - they are a bid prudish and boring, but we have the same aged kids who share school, football/cricket clubs and brownies so it was all very convenient. Then one day in January, we took the kids to London and returned to find they had leant over the garden fence and chopped down a tree of ours. We don't speak to the boring selfish twunts any more.

When we lived in Wimbledon we had a couple of mousey weirdos living above us from New Zealand. Then one day they had a fight so bad we felt obliged to call the police to sort it out. Then a month later, they knocked on our door to warn us that the world was going to end at the end of the year. Yes, they were religious nutjobs.

 

[British Grenadier]

I looked through the window of our neighbours (students) yesterday and there was an inflatable yellow dinghy in their front room...

 

[wunt be druv]

Was she fit though?

Sorry for the delay,but sadly,a big NO.It was like a car crash though,you just kept looking.

 

[wunt be druv]

Is this the point where it is appropriate tosay, "This thread is useless without pictures"?

Mate,believe me,some things are better left unseen.

 

[Don Quixote]

Mine's dead which is a bit creepy, so there is no one there.

 

[Capricorn]

Saw mine in Tesco sniffing a banana once. Looks like a nut job aswell.

My next door neighbour from my previous resident would often walk down the road when it was raining with a plastic bag on his head.....

These had me in hysterics!

 

[Questions]

The woman next door to me is a dead ringer for Rose West. We haven!t spoken for 10 years since I 'chastised' her son for swearing at my wife. She had a large patio laid recently which as far as I know did not contain any bodies.
She has no eye contact with anyone in our street.
Her husband walked out on her years ago and no one has seen him since.

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

My parent's neighbour used to hoover her patio.. True story.

 

[Mackenzie]

We had hookers on ones side and air stewards on the other.....ahhh Kemp Town

 

[wellquickwoody]

We had hookers on ones side and air stewards on the other.....ahhh Kemp Town

And the address is?

 

[Madam Cholet]

I looked through the window of our neighbours (students) yesterday and there was an inflatable yellow dinghy in their front room...

They'd obviously seen the weather forecast.

We used to have a neighbour who was the world's worst transvestite. His hair was so long he used to walk down the road with it tucked into his pants. As you do.

 

[Potters mate]

My neighbour once asked if i could move my car to the parking bay under the tree so he could have my spot. When i asked why, he said that the sap from the tree damages the paintwork and that his car was more expensive than mine! he was right though, the paintwork on his beemer is ruined! my yaris still looks fresh from the showroom.