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When work Christmas parties go wrong..







Philzo-93

Well-known member
Jan 17, 2009
2,797
North Stand
I was asked to come to a meeting to with my boss because I managed to get most of the high street at 3am doing the Yaya/Kolo Toure chant. Causing mayhem for the taxi drivers but was a cracking ending to a sub standard night.

They only knew it was me because I started to do Brighton chants :facepalm:
 












Hornblower

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
1,707
as a 19 year old working at worthing hospital back in the 80's , i found myself doing the dastardly deed with a 58 year old in the hydrotherapy pool......i have never spoken about it.....until now......:down:

Oh dear, I think I may have had treatment in that pool the following morning - whilst recovering from a motorcycle accident - and I thought it was embrocation...........
 


pasty

A different kind of pasty
Jul 5, 2003
30,322
West, West, West Sussex
Can't abide Christmas work parties. It's bad enough working with some of the bell cheeses in the office, let alone socialising with them. I always use living in Brighton as a good excuse for not going out and getting completely splattered in London.

Slightly worried this year though as we have a new CTO and he is rumoured to be trying to make attendance compulsory :down:
 




sydney

tinky ****in winky
Jul 11, 2003
17,756
town full of eejits
Oh dear, I think I may have had treatment in that pool the following morning - whilst recovering from a motorcycle accident - and I thought it was embrocation...........

there was no fluid exchange involved although she may have left a dribble of what looked like egg-nogg on the side of the pool when she was getting out......:moo:
 


Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
Being self employed I don't get to go to Christmas parties anymore but on film shoots the wrap parties are the nearest equivalent with the added bonus that you may never see any of these people again.
 


FREDBINNEY

Banned
Dec 11, 2009
317
Being self employed I don't get to go to Christmas parties anymore but on film shoots the wrap parties are the nearest equivalent with the added bonus that you may never see any of these people again.

I didn't know you were a barman as well , you are multi talented :lolol:
 








AnotherArch

Northern Exile
Apr 2, 2009
1,180
Stockport & M62
The episode that I forgot was the one I swerved (as I must have had a premonition). For evening do’s, the Company would pay half of the price for a ‘double’ ticket (i.e the employee’s share), so the level of ‘do’ depended upon how much the employees wanted to pay for their other half. One year the works staff decided to go for the full monty and hire a coach to go from the Thornton/Fleetwood area near Blackpool to go to Talk of the Town at Eccles, just outside Manchester on a Saturday night. In those days, around 30 years ago, it was one of the best nightclubs in the north-west. It was the standard: meal, compere, singer, star turn, then disco. At that time you had to wear collar and tie.
My second-in-command was the Engineering Manager who described the scene to me. They were all well-oiled. On the way home the coach had already stopped for a couple of toilet breaks, when a fight broke out. The p***ed-off driver pulled up on the hard-shoulder and ordered the two lads off. They continued scrapping on the hard-shoulder of the M61, and were followed out by most of the blokes who were either watching or relieving themselves on the crash barrier – or both. He said that it was a very smart fight as they all had suits/jackets on, and most still with ties. Eventually it all calmed down and most fell asleep for the rest of the journey.
When faced with this on the Monday morning afterwards, I applied the ‘three-wise-monkey’ position. Any disciplinary action would have lost me half the factory.
What happens on the hard-shoulder, stays on the hard-shoulder.
 




portlock seagull

Why? Why us?
Jul 28, 2003
17,192
The episode that I forgot was the one I swerved (as I must have had a premonition). For evening do’s, the Company would pay half of the price for a ‘double’ ticket (i.e the employee’s share), so the level of ‘do’ depended upon how much the employees wanted to pay for their other half. One year the works staff decided to go for the full monty and hire a coach to go from the Thornton/Fleetwood area near Blackpool to go to Talk of the Town at Eccles, just outside Manchester on a Saturday night. In those days, around 30 years ago, it was one of the best nightclubs in the north-west. It was the standard: meal, compere, singer, star turn, then disco. At that time you had to wear collar and tie.
My second-in-command was the Engineering Manager who described the scene to me. They were all well-oiled. On the way home the coach had already stopped for a couple of toilet breaks, when a fight broke out. The p***ed-off driver pulled up on the hard-shoulder and ordered the two lads off. They continued scrapping on the hard-shoulder of the M61, and were followed out by most of the blokes who were either watching or relieving themselves on the crash barrier – or both. He said that it was a very smart fight as they all had suits/jackets on, and most still with ties. Eventually it all calmed down and most fell asleep for the rest of the journey.
When faced with this on the Monday morning afterwards, I applied the ‘three-wise-monkey’ position. Any disciplinary action would have lost me half the factory.
What happens on the hard-shoulder, stays on the hard-shoulder.

Great story! About common sense too. Wouldn't happen today, HR would have effectively closed the business rather than not take action.
 


KJP

Well-known member
Mar 2, 2011
2,407
Goring-by-Sea
Why do people take other halves? I went to one where that happened once, it was awful, everyone was so boring and sensible. Much better without them
 


AnotherArch

Northern Exile
Apr 2, 2009
1,180
Stockport & M62
Why do people take other halves? I went to one where that happened once, it was awful, everyone was so boring and sensible. Much better without them

The other halves want to attend, normally because they can't trust their employee partner - either to behave on the night or they have suspicions built up over the previous 12 months and want to see body language, etc, or pick up gossip.
The company encourages the other halves because it raises the chances of not being banned in the future from that venue.
The employee has no option other than to take the partner for a Saturday night do, otherwise they would be barred from going.
 






Eggman

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
3,688
West Sussex
Plenty. A fight with another firm sharing the same venue after we beckoned them to 'come on then' over the karaoke mic. Still remember the ruck with the poor karaoke guy holding onto his speakers for dear life incase they toppled over.

Also one do the MD's daughter jumping on a table and shouting out very loudly that she was going to shove a wine bottle up her nether regions.

Many a free bar with PINTS of JD being consumed.

I miss those do's
 


Gregory2Smith1

J'les aurai!
Sep 21, 2011
5,476
Auch
builders piss ups at Christmas

remember one year ther wasn't a fight,**** knows what went wrong ???
 


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