What They Say, What They Mean

[GT49er]

The manager's way of doing things really impressed me, he really made me want to come and work with him. His wife is really fit, and he's said I can have her every Thursday

 

[Early Doors]

I'm delighted to be given this opportunity to play in the Premier League. It's every footballer's dream........i honestly can't believe I've landed this gig. Fair play to my agent, some mug obviously believed his bs. I know I'll do well to even get on the bench, but who gives a sh1t when you get the wages I'm getting!

 

[Dolph Ins]

I am so proud to have been signed by .........this team. WHO THE HELL HAVE I SIGNED FOR!!!

 

[withdeanwombat]

"It's an honour to sign and play for this great club, truly a sleeping giant and a bastion of the finest of footballing traditions".............Thinks "change agents. S/He could only get me Portsmouth."

 

[Early Doors]

"It's an honour to sign and play for this great club, truly a sleeping giant and a bastion of the finest of footballing traditions".............Thinks "change agents. S/He could only get me Portsmouth."

Sorry mate. Meant to give you thumbs up, not thumbs down. Bloody ipad (and a few Stellas!!)

 

[stripeyshark]

"It will take time to adjust to the physicality of the league"
(I'll perform terribly for my first season, not because I'm shit, it's your league's fault for not playing tippy tappy football.)

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

It's like a dream come true signing for palace

A dream where I'm running naked through treacle with a million clowns throwing shit at me.

 

[Bry Nylon]

"I'm just looking forward to playing first team football again."

Hopefully I won't get picked and I can spend all day Saturday in the bookies.

 

[Bry Nylon]

"There's a huge amount of ambition about this club."

We're all bringing in wheelbarrows to cart away the parachute payments to HSBC

 

[CP 0 3 BHA]

"I've heard good things about what is happening here" I couldn't have told you what league they were in until last Wednesday

"When I heard they were interested it was a no-brainer for me" I was just grateful to get an offer from someone at last

"This is a club I've always admired" I couldn't have told you where they were on a map until last Wednesday

 

[Guy Fawkes]

The club have been tracking me / shown an interest in signing me for a long time now so it's great to finally get the move here ..... ---> I could have joined earlier but I was holding out for a better deal and trying to get myself an extra £10k a week and guess what, it worked!

I had several offers but chose this club because of (insert* History/ambition/etc) ---> I picked this club because it was a choice between playing in League 1 here in the UK or playing in Div 8 in either Latvia, Finland or Luxembourg (i didn't even know that they played football in places like Latvia had a division 8)

(from a player leaving the club / threatening to leave the club.....) I'd like to thank the fans for the support they have shown me during my time at the club ---> The support they gave me enabled me to buy a large house mortgage free, 3 holiday homes, a supercar, speedboat and to be able to date / marry a top fashion model with the wealth i earned by playing for the club (through their loyalty by which i mean demands for success which led to to the club paying me £100k a week to keep me.)