What keeps you awake?

[Nibble]

The semi alcoholic tosspot who lives next door. He is pissed beyond belief at 2pm most days. Then falls asleep and snores all the way through the afternoon. I often work at night and whenever he does this afternoon drinking it's game over for my sleep. Then he gets up about 8, gets more drunk, his mate banging on the door for him. comes back about midnight, pissed. Snoring. He weirdly leaves his place at about 6am and ALWAYS slams the door behind him.

I've had him round the throat a few times but he just keeps on and on and he, when sober is actually a nice guy, pathetic in many ways and I don't like getting aggro with someone so pathetic but god he winds me up. Same routine every day. He's a pisshead, you cannot reason with them. When sober "Yes, yes, sorry I will sort it out" but of course he gets pissed up and on and on...

 

[Nibble]

Girlfriends dad coming to bed after midnight and the girlfriend fidgeting in her sleep.

(Plus I dreamt about north stand chat last night weird....)

Sounds cosy. Is he a cuddler?

 

[dougdeep]

Foxes making that high pitch screaming child like sound (that's my best effort at describing it).

That's the vixen saying that she's ready for LURVE!

 

[Zukey Seagull]

Sounds cosy. Is he a cuddler?

Yeh, I like it when he spoons me.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

A transgender hooker named Rusty.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

Terror! Sheer naked terror!!!!

Other than that I sleep fine.

 

[Norman Potting]

...The neigbour banging on the door and shouting abuse at 0200. Thank goodness I was already up and practising on my bagpipes

 

[TSB]

You two neighbours?

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

The worry that Sunderland and Poyet might win the cup tomorrow.

 

[clapham_gull]

I seem to have had the fortune / misfortune to live next door to neighbours indulging in very very loud sex in the last two places.

Currently it's like someone being operated on without anesthetic. There is screaming and er.. are you sure you are enjoying that ?

Last time the single lady down stairs used to have an odd partner who "played the role" of an American Porn Star. For months I thought she was watching porn until I sussed it was them. For the record she was the age of and looked like Deidre Barlow and her lover was a very short Indian gentleman.

She had a threesome in there one night.

 

[Silkster365]

Calculating when I can retire based on a series of different growth assumptions

 

[daveinprague]

Two sentence horror stories at the moment
http://thoughtcatalog.com/michael-koh/2013/07/40-freaking-creepy-ass-two-sentence-stories/