Things you never hear said by anyone, ever

[Bry Nylon]

"There just aren't enough TV programmes about traffic police these days."

 

[The Brighton Bear]

That advert break was far too quick.

 

[AnotherArch]

"We know where the Cup Final money went"

 

[Megazone]

Knockaert really does fail to beat his man. If it wasn't for his height, I doubt he'd be playing professional football.

 

[Guy Fawkes]

Today's match attendance is XX,XXX - and the figure is actually only how many have turned up to the game (rather than including all the no shows)

 

[nwgull]

I'm not happy with the result tonight (after your team has won).

 

[Norman Potting]

I thought that tonight's performance by the team was faultless and I can find no grounds whatsoever for criticism of any of the players in any way.

 

[knocky1]

"I'd prefer a play off place to automatic promotion. The matches are so exciting."

 

[Lower West Stander]

We've already paid out on Corbyn winning the next election


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[Goldstone1976]

I'm glad Calde has nothing to do with the Albion any more; only ever interested in the money. Good riddance.

That Trump bloke - how does he get his hair so beautifully wavy?

I'm thinking about buying a flat to rent out. After careful consideration, Croydon seems like a good location.

I stand up to wipe my bum.

 

[Simster]

It would be a nice change if the honey badger won the hardest animal competition in January

 

[anything_but_honey_badger]

It would be a nice change if the honey badger won the hardest animal competition in January

I really look forward to January when all those second and third accounts get dusted off to make sure that the right creature wins.

 

[MF'84]

That cladding is really befitting of a Premier League club.

 

[El Presidente]

It's great that all the lesbians I meet in real life look identical to those in my DVD collection.


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[Colonel Angus]

My kid(s) are thick as sh1t and doing cr@p at school.

That Piers Morgan appears to be actually a nice chap and I'd buy him a pint.

Sorry to disappoint you, but a friend met Piers Morgan at a party about 14 years ago and said something pretty close to that (minus the pint bit).

 

[Yes Chef]

"This orgasm has been going on for far too long"

 

[Blackadder]

"Sorry, I'm not really sure why I phoned you. I know you can't possibly have had an accident in the last 3 years!"

"I love supporting the Albion, we need get more fans in to the Amex, We have been a revelation since CH has us playing 4-4-2. Knockaert is a brilliant player". Isn't it nice that you can take your family to a game and feel safe.

Regards

 

[Psychobilly freakout]

First prize in the Allah cartoon compition goes to Rolf Harris.