There was an old lady from Ealing............how did the rest of it go?

[Jonno]

Been driving me nuts trying to remember this. I give in.
Any other stupid limericks welcome too.

 

[Everest]

Let me google that for you

 

[Superphil]

There was a young women from Ealing,
Who had a very bad feeling
She rolled on her back
Opened her ******
And ****** all over the ceiling

 

[withdeanwombat]

There was an old man from Darjeeling
Who got on a bus to Ealing
It said on the door
Don't spit on the floor
So he stood up and spat on the ceiling.

 

[SockMonster]

There was a young lady from westphalia
Who painted her arse like a dahlia
Two pounds for a smell
went down very well
but three pounds for a lick was a failure

There was an old lady from Ealing
who skin was all flaky and peeling
........

 

[cannedheat]

There was a young man from Kent
Who's tool was exceedingly bent
To save himself trouble he stuffed it in double
And instead of coming he went

 

[jevs]

There was a young lady from westphalia
Who painted her arse like a dahlia
Two pounds for a smell
went down very well
but three pounds for a lick was a failure

........

Pure class

 

[edna krabappel]

There was an old man from Devizes
With bollocks of two different sizes
The left was so small
It was barely a ball
While the other won numerous prizes

 

[the wanderbus]

there was a young man from torbay
who made a fanny from clay
the heat of his prick
turned it to brick
& chaffed all his foreskin away

 

[public school boy]

There was a young man called Keith who circumcised men with his teeth it wasn't for pleasure or digging for treasure but to get at the cheese underneath

 

[the wanderbus]

there was a young lady from leeds
who swallowed a packet of seeds
in less than an hour
her arse was in flower
& her tits were covered in weeds

 

[PHCgull]

there was a mathematican from Bengal,
who had a hexagonal ball,
the molecular weight
of his penis, times eight
was twice the square root of f*** all.

 

[fire&skill]

The man who was new at the zoo

Was put in charge of the gnu

The gnu knew he was new

And he knew the gnu knew

And he knew the gnu knew that he knew

 

[Barrel of Fun]

There was a young man named Murray,
Who wanted to leave in a hurry.
Failed to wave,
Some fans never forgave.
It's all a bit of a worry.

 

[fire&skill]

There was a young man from Newcastle

Who wrapped up a turd in a parcel

He sent it by post, to a boat on the coast

To show 'em the size of his arse 'ole

 

[fire&skill]

There was a young lady from Ryde

Who ate some apples and died

The apples fermented inside the lamented

And made cider inside 'er insides

 

[fire&skill]

There was a young man from Japan

Whose limericks just wouldn't scan

When asked why it was

He said it's because

I try and get as many words into the last line as I possibly can

 

[Barrel of Fun]

There was a Uruguayan called Gus,
He invited us all on his bus.
No more in the air,
with a great touch of flair,
but still there are some who will cuss.

 

[fire&skill]

There was a young lady from Crewe

Who said, as the Bishop withdrew

'The Vicar was quicker and slicker and thicker

'And three inches longer than you'









And THAT [you'll be glad to know] is it

 

[GT49er]

There was a young lady from Ealing
Who walked upside down on the ceiling
She fell on her neck
And shouted by heck
It's a very peculiar feeling
(for whoever wanted the original version.............)

There was a young man fro Japen
Whose limericks never would scan
When asked if they rhymed,
He replied, 'Every time'
But I always have to try to squeeze as many words into the last line as I possibly can

A gay man who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian back to his room.
They argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, with what, to whom