[Football] The great football cliche LIST.

[Brian Fantana]

One of the newest ones I’ve come across recently is PROJECT. It seems to be the first thing that players mention when they sign for a new club. What is this project? Is it winning as many games as possible and finishing as high as you can?

 

[Weststander]

"The Group", "A great group to work with". - this crept in; an attempt to boost morale and trick perennial benchwarmers that they're very much part of things.

 

[Badger]

The team showed a lot of CHARACTER out there. I mean they lost 3-0, but CHARACTER is what counts.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Manager: We were lucky to get nil
(Don't be a smart arse - it was all your fault anyway for the shit coaching and team selection)

Glen Hoddle (for it is he): They need to score early doors
(No they don't. If you want to spend money, Waiting for the Sun and Morrison Hotel can't be beaten. You know Jack Shit about music)

Pundit: If the goal had been wider they would have missed
(No they wouldn't. It would have been a goal, just like it already is, albeit not quite as amazing/lucky. You eejit)

Commentator: Brighton are in the ascendancy
(No they aren't. They are a football club, not a Satanic cult. You weirdo)

New singing: I'm hoping I can help the team
(What are you, a sports psychologist? Get your ****ing boots on and put in a shift, you pretentious ponce).

 

[Moshe Gariani]

"We'd have taken a point if offered before the game"

It is obviously against competition rules and no team has ever been 'offered a point' before the game in the history of football... (apart from Tottenham and Southampton in 1978...)

 

[Weststander]

The woodwork saved them. (A miss)

 

[Albion my Albion]

The club has moved forward massive strides.

 

[Albion my Albion]

They are two even sides.

 

[Mayonaise]

He leapt like a salmon at the back stick!

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

The club has moved forward massive strides.

 

[Weststander]

We deserve an owner/manager who can take this club to the next level. Cue relegation or insolvency.

 

[Weststander]

View attachment 100152

Worthington, Currie, Bowles - FLAIR players.

 

[Albion my Albion]

He is very very special.

(Hasn't scored or done anything positive but he is special.)

 

[Raleigh Chopper]

That was a world class save but he really should be scoring from there. (usually said by an ex striker)

Although they lost 2-0 they really deserved at least a draw today. (they did not score so they deserved nothing)

Yes no.

The big fella.

 

[Greg Bobkin]

My personal bugbear - 'Stick it in the mixer'

It only takes a second to score a goal

You've got yer Chelseas and yer Arsenals, yer David Beckhams and yer Frank Lampards.......there's only one of each FFS.

Massive - goal, tackle, challenge, game, tie, victory, defeat, card, decision etc. EVERYTHING is 'massive'

Technically weren't there two of them?

Anyway, not really a cliché, but I heard Darren Gough earlier say 'ee was linked'. And that was it. Linked with/to whom or what we were not told.

Anybody put 'six-pointer' yet?

 

[albionfan37]

That’ll change his ht teamtalk

 

[Ken Livingstone Seagull]

It's a marathon not a sprint Brian

 

[Brian Fantana]

Footballers doing that really annoying thing where they put their heads in front of their mouths when talking, so that no one can lip read. There was an even a clip of two United fans doing it in the stand last night.

 

[Driver8]

Footballers doing that really annoying thing where they put their heads in front of their mouths when talking,

Haven’t seen that before!

 

[del strangefish]

The Carabao cup is a great competition.