Stupid ways that you have hurt yourself

[Lady Whistledown]

oh my god

EDNA

DUCK !

*blinks fiercely at the mere memory*

 

[pasty]

Ah, food injuries - that reminds me.......Bit into a mini chicken kiev once and got a squirt of boiling hot garlic butter straight up my left nostril!

Now believe me, that hurts !

 

[Lady Whistledown]

"Monsieur! Wiz zese Rocher you are really blinding us"

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

Only today I managed to poke myself in the eye answering the phone. (I put it into my eye instead of the textbook "next to the ear" fashion).

It really hurt.

 

[Bwian]

When I was about eleven I had a curiosity about all things electrical-regularly trying to improve the performance of things like my new 'transistor radio'. Not content with passive items like that, my curiosity extended to the fuse panel in the under stairs cupboard. Waited for both parents to be out, the moment arrived to remove the cover...my first exploration of a 240v toy box. Went fine for a while: removed a couple of fuses and put them back, gaining confidence with every removal and proceded to work my way down the row of fuses. Then it happened-I came across the one that my dad had 'repaired' with the foil from a cigarette pack wrapped around the fuse (he was not the world's best DIY Dad). I didn't see the extended piece of foil and gripped the fuse holder. I flew out from under the stairs like an exocet missile smashing into the wall opposite bruising my back and elbows.

 

[Ccider]

When I was about eleven I had a curiosity about all things electrical-regularly trying to improve the performance of things like my new 'transistor radio'. Not content with passive items like that, my curiosity extended to the fuse panel in the under stairs cupboard. Waited for both parents to be out, the moment arrived to remove the cover...my first exploration of a 240v toy box. Went fine for a while: removed a couple of fuses and put them back, gaining confidence with every removal and proceded to work my way down the row of fuses. Then it happened-I came across the one that my dad had 'repaired' with the foil from a cigarette pack wrapped around the fuse (he was not the world's best DIY Dad). I didn't see the extended piece of foil and gripped the fuse holder. I flew out from under the stairs like an exocet missile smashing into the wall opposite bruising my back and elbows.

Did that teach your Dad to give up smoking?

 

[Braders]

I've done that!

glad i wasn't the only one

 

[um bongo molongo]

I went on a pub crawl last Christmas where we all hired animal outfits with big heads and the like. Was dressed as a dog and the eyeholes weren;t very big and kept moving away from my eyes when the head moved around. Fell off a big curb near Clapham Junction and broke my ankle. Had to go to hospital in the full outfit (did take the head off though).

 

[John Dorian]

I have a few ....unfortunately..

1) I broke my wrist by punching a punch bag. Yes punching a punch bag, not as if thats a stupid thing to do !! but in a moment of rage i ran up and whacked this lump of a punch bag and felt my wrist crack. Not a happy bunny hurt like hell !!

2) I remember being severly pissed outside a nightclub. Then a fight started between my mate and another guy ... i was standing next to my mate and this guy throws a skewlif punch my mate ducks and i get pelted in the face !!! blood everywhere.

3) My uncle bought a brand new mini red one the italian job ones ... just got it delivered so he decided to wash it .... he finishes washing it and hears a motorbike sound coming towards him. Then he heres a big crash and sees the motorcyclist being flung through the air promptly landing on the roof crashing a huge dent in it !!! He'd had it less than half an hour. that was funny.

4) I had music on in my room, was dancing away singing into the deodorant can as you do and decided to fall backwards on the bed ..... the whole frame gave way sending me and my bed crashing to the floor. hurt my back too !!

 

[John Dorian]

ive walked into a parked car on more than one occasion bruising many perts of my body .... it was dark but i collapsed like a sack of shit ... then quickly scurried away when the owner of the car came out of his house. It bloody hurts !!

 

[itszamora]

Only today I managed to poke myself in the eye answering the phone. (I put it into my eye instead of the textbook "next to the ear" fashion).

It really hurt.

That is without doubt one of the funniest things that I have ever read

 

[Terrace Dandy]

14 years old and brought a packet of bangers (Fireworks) and let a couple off. Only had one match left and my mate had a cigarette. Lit the cigarette so we could light the fuses but I decided to empty all the gun powder from all of them and put it into a heap in the middle of the table. Didn’t have a light apart from the fag so lent over the powder and drew on this fag so the powder would ignite. Did it ignite, f*** sake. It blew my face up. My eye brows was non excitant and my eyes were completely shut for 4 days. My mates found it hilarious but I thought I was blinded for life. Looking back I can see the funny side but at the time. No it wasn’t.

 

[Beach Hut]

I suppose I had better confess to my "finest" hour of which I know precious little as I was very young.

We were on holiday in Bournemouth when I was about 4 or 5 and went to church on Sunday and as usual my brother and two sisters and I taunted each other when kneeling for prayers.

However when the next hymn started we all stood up however my left eye "skin" had somehow got attached to the cassock hook.

So I got up about half-way pulling my skin out from around my left eye, my fathers' resplendant white suit jacket turned red as I was carried out of the church somewhat distressed.

The only positive outcome was the lucky fact that there was a specialist eye hospital in Bournemouth and apparently, according to my sisters, load of old dears having cateract operations who fed me grapes and bananas.

 

[eastlondonseagull]

Right:

* Two years ago, fell off scooter in Ko Pha Ngan, Thailand, when got accelerator and break confused. Skidded along tarmac with bike on top for 50 yards. Very painful...

* Stayed at a villa in Ibiza this summer. Staggered from party to car very pissed (to fish something out of the boot), tripped up kerb and fell into a very prickly flowerbed. Cuts and bruises all over face. Several hours later, after drinking in garden, stood up, staggered backwards and fell down six foot ravine. Cue concussion and more cuts and bruises.

* Aged six, jumped out of a tree. Tried to catch another tree's branches. Missed. Snapped wrist in two places. Mended it, then chased dog around dining table, tripped and broke it again. Still weak today.

I am a wally.

 

[Easy 10]

Heh
eastlondonseagull is a bit limp-wristed


(gruesome pics btw)