If I was a vegetarian, would that mean I wasn't allowed to look at the meat aisle in Tesco?
I thought you were classier than that, I had you down as a Waitrose shopper
Ronaldo
- Thread starter Whitterz
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I thought you were classier than that, I had you down as a Waitrose shopper
- Jul 7, 2003
- 47,282
I have been known to grace the aisles of Waitrose occasionally, it's true. Only because I live about thirty seconds walk from one so it's handy for those little essentials. Like emergency wine
mistahclarke
Well-known member
- Jul 28, 2009
- 2,997
still think so after what he's named his son?
Of course, true to form he has named after after his number 1 footballer
Sheebo
Well-known member
- Jul 13, 2003
- 29,319
Plus I heard a rumour he paid someone to get a mini cloan of him?! Doubt that's true - surely no-one can be that much of a ****... Oh it's Ronaldo - just realised...
I don't bother reading any press shite and not usually that interested but what's the latest on the Mother? Was it a 1 night thing or did he indeed pay her to have a surrogate?
I don't bother reading any press shite and not usually that interested but what's the latest on the Mother? Was it a 1 night thing or did he indeed pay her to have a surrogate?
mistahclarke
Well-known member
- Jul 28, 2009
- 2,997
no idea what happened, but all a bit weird he has exclusive rights. And his sister is bringing up the baby?
naming him Cristiano Ronaldo Jr though?
naming him Cristiano Ronaldo Jr though?
- Jul 7, 2003
- 47,282
And buying a baby and then pissing off on holiday with his beard, sorry I mean girlfriend, leaving the baby with his sister.
No, he's definitely a 100% heterosexual male, I honestly do believe...
No, he's definitely a 100% heterosexual male, I honestly do believe...
Guy Fawkes
The voice of treason
- Sep 29, 2007
- 8,253
Success for Ronaldo in self-insemination experiment
By Tom Beasley
Portuguese football ace Cristiano Ronaldo has become the proud father of a baby boy in what scientists are hailing as the first recorded self-insemination birth by a human male.
Ronaldo is said to have pioneered the concept of human self-insemination after catching sight of himself in the mirror after a particularly thrilling performance for his club side Real Madrid.
“He saw that hot piece of ass in the mirror and knew right then that he had to tap that,” a spokesman for the star said last night.
“He is confident that his relationship with himself will not become awkward due to the new arrival, and he expects that an amicable custody arrangement can be reached.”
Ronaldo’s parents spoke to a reporters about the new arrival last night, with his mother particularly pleased by the news.
She said, “From the very first time we walked in on Cristiano happily masturbating in front of a full length mirror, we knew that one day he would succeed in taking narcissism to the next level.”
“He has proven to the world that if you love yourself enough, then anything is possible.”
The baby news has come at a difficult time for Ronaldo, and it was touch and go whether the doctors would clear the Portuguese midfielder to take part in the World Cup.
Fortunately, his team were booted out early, allowing Ronaldo to fly home and give birth surrounded by his closest sycophants and lackeys.
Ronaldo’s former team-mate at Manchester United, Wayne Rooney, is taking full credit for the new child, telling reporters, “It was all me. I was the person who told him to go f*** himself.”
Success for Cristiano Ronaldo in self-insemination experiment | newsarse.com
By Tom Beasley
Portuguese football ace Cristiano Ronaldo has become the proud father of a baby boy in what scientists are hailing as the first recorded self-insemination birth by a human male.
Ronaldo is said to have pioneered the concept of human self-insemination after catching sight of himself in the mirror after a particularly thrilling performance for his club side Real Madrid.
“He saw that hot piece of ass in the mirror and knew right then that he had to tap that,” a spokesman for the star said last night.
“He is confident that his relationship with himself will not become awkward due to the new arrival, and he expects that an amicable custody arrangement can be reached.”
Ronaldo’s parents spoke to a reporters about the new arrival last night, with his mother particularly pleased by the news.
She said, “From the very first time we walked in on Cristiano happily masturbating in front of a full length mirror, we knew that one day he would succeed in taking narcissism to the next level.”
“He has proven to the world that if you love yourself enough, then anything is possible.”
The baby news has come at a difficult time for Ronaldo, and it was touch and go whether the doctors would clear the Portuguese midfielder to take part in the World Cup.
Fortunately, his team were booted out early, allowing Ronaldo to fly home and give birth surrounded by his closest sycophants and lackeys.
Ronaldo’s former team-mate at Manchester United, Wayne Rooney, is taking full credit for the new child, telling reporters, “It was all me. I was the person who told him to go f*** himself.”
Success for Cristiano Ronaldo in self-insemination experiment | newsarse.com