[Football] Paul Merson

[Weststander]

In a preview of the programme being shown next week, apparently one adult a day in Britain commits suicide due to gambling debts or blowing their life savings. That is pretty shocking and it's not just about greed - someone that has never had a bet in their lives might think it is. But I think that's ignorance.

I'm glad that I'm not 17 or 18 again. The teletext pages for William Hill always used to have glossy presentations and attractive colours. Newcastle in the mid-nineties were generally around 11/10 to win at places like Everton, Spurs, Leeds or West Ham when they were chasing the Premier League. They'd win about one in three so breaking even was always a result. I learnt a lot that betting is a lot like alcohol - respect it in moderation or you'll end up bang in trouble.

These days with betting online so easy, I'm glad that I just bet in shops so every punt is thought out carefully and sticking to a limit. I often see gamblers losing control when they're playing on the FOBT machines. Those things are very dangerous.

Relieved here. I briefly dabbled in matched betting (which does work) due to the glowing reviews on nsc. But I completely missed the heyday, instead performing a series of transactions to gain £7.50 or £4 a go. Tedious imho, what a waste of a life. As a result and it was my fault, only because I then had Smarkets and Betfair accounts I gave lay betting a go ..... surely Brighton won't get a result at Arsenal or a small Spanish club at the Bernabau ..... will they? Early successes "like printing money", soon evaporated.

A mug's game, the bookies really do always ultimately win. Meaning as a matter of fact that punters have thrown away hard earnt money.

Far better to stick any spare cash in shares ISA's and leave for the very long term.

 

[Baldseagull]

I recently heard brilliant, long interviews with Merson and separately Shilton on R5 about their former gambling addictions.

I’ve rarely gambled myself, but came to the conclusion a long time ago that imho it’s as bad or worse than any other addiction. There’s only so much booze or narcotics that can be consumed. But gambling wipes out entire life savings, often the family’s and so it directly destroys the live of innocents at the same time.

Shilton was saved by himself and his amazing partner. So bad at one stage that he avoided short journeys and trips out in case he missed piling on big on a horse race. He lied about his losses.

The bookies, despite the supposed modern safeguards, must’ve loved it. Robbing £1,000’s a day from ex-footballers.

Respect to them both, I hope they beat it forever.

Well if Shilton can't make the save, who can?

 

[dejavuatbtn]

Whilst I have a lot of sympathy for him as an addict, if he is going to keep his job with Sky I do wish he’d stop shouting when doing match reports. It’s bloody annoying.

 

[Sheebo]

It's funny watching him have a breakdown everytime Neil Ruddock tells him to fùck off when Merson calls him an alcoholic slob or chav. If he dishes it out he's got to learn how to take it. Every series of 'Harry's heroes' or 'Eur having a laugh' it seems to happen.

"He's supposed to be my mate" in a snivelling, pathetic voice with tears streaming down his face. Grow some balls, Merse.

Count yourself lucky if you’ve never had any issues in life. And grow some compassion or empathy - as you do have serious issues yourself if you really feel like this tbh… try and find yourself and your core values and you’ll be happier…

 

[The Optimist]

It's funny watching him have a breakdown everytime Neil Ruddock tells him to fùck off when Merson calls him an alcoholic slob or chav. If he dishes it out he's got to learn how to take it. Every series of 'Harry's heroes' or 'Eur having a laugh' it seems to happen.

"He's supposed to be my mate" in a snivelling, pathetic voice with tears streaming down his face. Grow some balls, Merse.

Isn’t the ‘dishing it out’ Merson trying to stop Ruddock from ruining his life? I’ve only seen one of those programmes but it was obvious Ruddock has some serious issues. Merson seemed to be one of the only ones concerned for him.

 

[Stat Brother]

I too am currently halfway through Merson on Football Weekly.

I always have a twinge of 'there but for the grace of God..'.

I like a little flutter, I love going to casinos - so don't.

Fortunately for me I'm (small c) conservative and risk adverse.
Even more fortune is the fact I'm a bit shite at it, I always let my heart rule my head.
So a rare win is good but I know how much it cost.


Merson was saying at the point of the first lockdown they finally had together a deposit for a house.
He convinced himself the world was in the shite and that deposit needed to be much bigger.

He lost the lot, he lost the deposit for a new house for his wife and 2 young kids.

I just can't get my head round that.
He talks of it being an illness and it's hard to disagree with stories like that backing him up.

 

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

I too am currently halfway through Merson on Football Weekly.

I always have a twinge of 'there but for the grace of God..'.

I like a little flutter, I love going to casinos - so don't.

Fortunately for me I'm (small c) conservative and risk adverse.
Even more fortune is the fact I'm a bit shite at it, I always let my heart rule my head.
So a rare win is good but I know how much it cost.


Merson was saying at the point of the first lockdown they finally had together a deposit for a house.
He convinced himself the world was in the shite and that deposit needed to be much bigger.

He lost the lot, he lost the deposit for a new house for his wife and 2 young kids.

I just can't get my head round that.
He talks of it being an illness and it's hard to disagree with stories like that backing him up.

My dad has always liked a bet but always little bets for interest. I doubt he has ever bet more than a fiver in a single bet over the years - maybe £7.50 on a lucky 15 at the most. His visits to the bookies have been more about the social aspect and he has never had an online account (probably wouldn't know how to use it anyway!)

I've always been similar - I love jump racing but not flat so I usually get a few months off during the summer. Watching on TV I'll have a £1 bet for interest or a little Lucky 15 on a Saturday if there is no Albion to watch. If I go racing, I look at it as a £30 day out (fiver a race) and if I come home with anything more then it is a bonus and that bet hasn't changed in over 30 years.

It doesn't rule my life - it is just a little hobby and always will be.

However, I have seen people chasing money and that is the start of problems. Merson has said it himself before - he's have a bet, it would lose, so he would try and win his money back. That is where the danger lies.

Hopefully he can lose these demons but in the old days, you'd have to go out to make a serious bet. Now, it is so easy using your mobile apps etc, it is much easier for an addict to 'sneak' a bet in without anyone else knowing so unless his missus confiscates his phone, there will always be that risk.

 

[NooBHA]

I am totally torn on my views on this issue - And the reason for this is because I have a brother who is in a similar position.

My brother can and does go out to work for a month and the minute he gets paid he can and often does gamble and lose all his wages within a matter of hours - I wouldn't dream of commenting on Merson specifically and judging him negatively or positively for what he does because it is an illness - However, to make the claim that he will never overcome his Gambling Addiction, I find totally selfish. I say this because my brother says the exact same thing every time people try to help him.

He has tried all the self help groups and leaves them stating they don't work for him ( my brother that is ) - They don't work for him because he doesn't want them to work for him and he wants to continue gambling. And that all well and good but it is family members like myself, my father and my mother in years gone by who end up bailing him out financially. I just refuse to do it now but others still have to bail him out periodically, financially.

So yes it is all very well to admit they have a problem but to make the claim that they can't overcome the addiction is just the same as saying they don't want to overcome it - My brother gambles all his money but by continuing to be bailed out by other friends and family it just means that they think that what they earn is theirs to gamble and lose as they like and that's fine but when they allow themselves to be bailed out by others it just means that they think that other people's hard earned money is theirs to spend gambling as well.

I do realise that this might come across as quite a heartless take on the issue but it comes from many years of having to financially support a family member before finally saying ''enough is enough''

So when I watch this programme on Monday and if Paul Merson states in it that he has given up giving up gambling then I will take the same view of him as I did with my brother because I supported him for years and if he doesn't want to escape it then I am not going to financially fund it.

 

[Stat Brother]

I am totally torn on my views on this issue - And the reason for this is because I have a brother who is in a similar position.

My brother can and does go out to work for a month and the minute he gets paid he can and often does gamble and lose all his wages within a matter of hours - I wouldn't dream of commenting on Merson specifically and judging him negatively or positively for what he does because it is an illness - However, to make the claim that he will never overcome his Gambling Addiction, I find totally selfish. I say this because my brother says the exact same thing every time people try to help him.

He has tried all the self help groups and leaves them stating they don't work for him ( my brother that is ) - They don't work for him because he doesn't want them to work for him and he wants to continue gambling. And that all well and good but it is family members like myself, my father and my mother in years gone by who end up bailing him out financially. I just refuse to do it now but others still have to bail him out periodically, financially.

So yes it is all very well to admit they have a problem but to make the claim that they can't overcome the addiction is just the same as saying they don't want to overcome it - My brother gambles all his money but by continuing to be bailed out by other friends and family it just means that they think that what they earn is theirs to gamble and lose as they like and that's fine but when they allow themselves to be bailed out by others it just means that they think that other people's hard earned money is theirs to spend gambling as well.

I do realise that this might come across as quite a heartless take on the issue but it comes from many years of having to financially support a family member before finally saying ''enough is enough''

So when I watch this programme on Monday and if Paul Merson states in it that he has given up giving up gambling then I will take the same view of him as I did with my brother because I supported him for years and if he doesn't want to escape it then I am not going to financially fund it.

I didn't see the programme I'm just going on the first half of his interview with Max & Barry, I'll catch the rest going home.

Merson said to them he can't say 'I will never gamble, drink, take drugs ever again'.
Because the enormity of that statement would crush him and he'd be off the wagon inside a week.

He says he wakes each morning and thinks 'today I won't gamble, drink and take drugs' - that's it that's all he can promise.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I am totally torn on my views on this issue - And the reason for this is because I have a brother who is in a similar position.

My brother can and does go out to work for a month and the minute he gets paid he can and often does gamble and lose all his wages within a matter of hours - I wouldn't dream of commenting on Merson specifically and judging him negatively or positively for what he does because it is an illness - However, to make the claim that he will never overcome his Gambling Addiction, I find totally selfish. I say this because my brother says the exact same thing every time people try to help him.

He has tried all the self help groups and leaves them stating they don't work for him ( my brother that is ) - They don't work for him because he doesn't want them to work for him and he wants to continue gambling. And that all well and good but it is family members like myself, my father and my mother in years gone by who end up bailing him out financially. I just refuse to do it now but others still have to bail him out periodically, financially.

So yes it is all very well to admit they have a problem but to make the claim that they can't overcome the addiction is just the same as saying they don't want to overcome it - My brother gambles all his money but by continuing to be bailed out by other friends and family it just means that they think that what they earn is theirs to gamble and lose as they like and that's fine but when they allow themselves to be bailed out by others it just means that they think that other people's hard earned money is theirs to spend gambling as well.

I do realise that this might come across as quite a heartless take on the issue but it comes from many years of having to financially support a family member before finally saying ''enough is enough''

So when I watch this programme on Monday and if Paul Merson states in it that he has given up giving up gambling then I will take the same view of him as I did with my brother because I supported him for years and if he doesn't want to escape it then I am not going to financially fund it.

I understand your point. I also struggle with the notion that a willful refusal to engage with solutions, while accepting emergency reparation (e.g., free money) is simply part of the illness. I don't know the answer to this.

Edit: I see from the post above by [MENTION=435]Stat Brother[/MENTION] that this is not the case with Merson.

 

[NooBHA]

I understand your point. I also struggle with the notion that a willful refusal to engage with solutions, while accepting emergency reparation (e.g., free money) is simply part of the illness. I don't know the answer to this.

Edit: I see from the post above by [MENTION=435]Stat Brother[/MENTION] that this is not the case with Merson.

Merson has bigger issues than my brother - My brother doesn't drink alcohol or take drugs. Whish is just as well because all his money is spent gambling within hours. I just can't get my head round the concept of that. I honestly can't.

I can and have paid off thousands for him in debt in the past. If I thought that paying £20K into a bank account and saying - ''OK ; lose all that money and then STOP '' : If I thought that would work I would do it in a heartbeat but it wouldn't work.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Merson has bigger issues than my brother - My brother doesn't drink alcohol or take drugs. Whish is just as well because all his money is spent gambling within hours. I just can't get my head round the concept of that. I honestly can't.

I can and have paid off thousands for him in debt in the past. If I thought that paying £20K into a bank account and saying - ''OK ; lose all that money and then STOP '' : If I thought that would work I would do it in a heartbeat but it wouldn't work.

I'm sorry to read that.

 

[NooBHA]

I'm sorry to read that.

It is what it is H

No ones life is straight forward - The difficult times in life are there so that we can actually gage and appreciate the good times when they present themselves

 

[Durlston]

I saw him play for Arsenal when he was first into the team - I think it was the season they won the League at Anfield in 1989. He was an amazing player. One of the best I have seen.

George Graham said to Paul Merson just after all that stuff blew up in the Daily Mirror and the confessions of being helplessly addicted to cocaine, alcohol and gambling in November 1994. "There's no way I would have sold you after you confessed" "Why?" said Merson "Because if you put cheap petrol into a skoda and it doesn't work, you get rid of it. But if you put petrol into a Ferrari and it has a few blips you keep hold of it". That's what I feel about you Paul.

Class from Graham when Merson needed real support.

And what a midfielder. Didn't he win young player of the season in 88/89?

 

[AmexRuislip]

Just seen Merson on SSN, reminded me of Sidney Snell from Frost

 

[dejavuatbtn]

He looks like an old time grandad. Greased back hair, thick rimmed glasses, greying at the sides and generally looking old. Hope he has his life under control now. As others, I remind myself of what a top player he was in his prime.

 

[Binney on acid]

Just watched some of 'A walk through life'. I hope and pray that he hangs on in there. I have so much admiration for him, as a player and as an inspiration to some people who's lives are in tatters.

 

[banjo]

Just watched some of 'A walk through life'. I hope and pray that he hangs on in there. I have so much admiration for him, as a player and as an inspiration to some people who's lives are in tatters.

Just watched it, very good.

 

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

That program is very interesting to watch. It is like one of the 'slow TV' shows that were popular in lockdown but with Merson alone with his thoughts.

There have been a lot of personal reflections on mental health on NSC over recent weeks and Mersons thought about mental health and his addictions are interesting to listen to.