Joke du Jour

[slinky]

Dave was staring sadly into his pint and sighed heavily.
“What’s up Dave?” asked the bartender…It’s not like you to be so down
in the mouth.”
“It’s my four year old son…” the man replied.

“Don’t tell me, he’s in trouble for fighting in school? – my lad’s just
the same – forget about it; it happens to boys that age,” said the
bartender, sympathetically.

“ I only wish it was that,” continued the customer, “ but it’s far
worse than that. The little b*****d has got our gorgeous 18 year old
next door neighbour pregnant.”
“Get away, that’s impossible!” gasped the bartender

“It’s not,” said the man.

"He stuck a pin in all my condoms.

 

[leigull]

Not bad, not bad!

 

[Titanic]

He only has himself to blame... I mean, what sort of parent allows a 4 year old child to play with sharp objects like pins?

 

[Manx Shearwater]

How does he know the baby is his? The neighbour is clearly a slapper, it could be anyone's. I think he's making rash assumptions about the child's identity to be honest.

 

[The Large One]

What is the four year-old's motivation for putting pins in condoms?

Perhaps with the apparent irretrievable breakdown of his father's relationship with his wife (evidenced by the clandestine affair with the young neighbour, plus morosely drinking beer alone in a pub), it was his only way of believing a sibling (or half-sibling's) appearance was possible. Advanced thinking for a four year-old, but not without its pitfalls.

However, surely the father would have noticed the piercing in the foil of the condom wrapping, plus there is the increased risk of a tear in the condom itself.

A curious tale.

 

[SeagullSongs]

What is the four year-old's motivation for putting pins in condoms?

Perhaps with the apparent irretrievable breakdown of his father's relationship with his wife (evidenced by the clandestine affair with the young neighbour, plus morosely drinking beer alone in a pub), it was his only way of believing a sibling (or half-sibling's) appearance was possible. Advanced thinking for a four year-old, but not without its pitfalls.

However, surely the father would have noticed the piercing in the foil of the condom wrapping, plus there is the increased risk of a tear in the condom itself.

A curious tale.

This is why I love this forum.

 

[Hungry Joe]

What is the four year-old's motivation for putting pins in condoms?

Perhaps with the apparent irretrievable breakdown of his father's relationship with his wife (evidenced by the clandestine affair with the young neighbour, plus morosely drinking beer alone in a pub), it was his only way of believing a sibling (or half-sibling's) appearance was possible. Advanced thinking for a four year-old, but not without its pitfalls.

However, surely the father would have noticed the piercing in the foil of the condom wrapping, plus there is the increased risk of a tear in the condom itself.

A curious tale.

Indeed. There are more holes in this tall tale than alleged holes in the father's condoms.

 

[SeagullSongs]

Alas, I think it is a fine example of the child's Freudian hatred for his father.

 

[Wardy]

Are we sure it was the son who put the holes in the condoms? No parent no matter how bad things are would allow their 4 y/o to play with pins. I think it was more likely to be the wife who upon seeing that their relationship was at a point on no return, decided to increase the reasons for divorce and thus keep the house, son as well.

 

[Easy 10]

I am also confused as to the small boys motivation. I think we should ask Bonnie Tyler.

 

[Box of Frogs]

I am also confused as to the small boys motivation. I think we should ask Bonnie Tyler.

Deja vu

 

[chucky1973]

can she not have an abortion? then carry on the fun, oh and get her on the pill for next time

 

[jackanada]

Where were the johnnys hidden? If they weren't hidden then either he was in an open relationship or rubbering up for the missus too. If that's the case maybe she got the son to 'play' with said johnnys to try and have an 'accidental' relationship saving baby?
I really think they need the sound relationship guidance of Jeremy Kyle and his helpful lie detector and paternity test personnel.

 

[narly101]

You all seem to be asking the wrong question. Why on heaven's earth would a 4 year old consider putting pins into a condom? And rather than the pin discussions, surely the father should have been more responsible and kept his condoms safely out of reach in a bathrooom cabinet. Or, indeed, before he involved himself in this clandestine affair, could he not have got the snip on the NHS?

I find this news story as believable as us putting a robot on Mars. Curiosity indeed?!

 

[Acker79]

How does he know the baby is his? The neighbour is clearly a slapper, it could be anyone's. I think he's making rash assumptions about the child's identity to be honest.

Typical man reaction. She's a slapper because she's sleeping with her neighbour. Perhaps she sees him as her one true love and has only ever slept with him? No, like a typical man you automatically assume she would be sleeping around.

 

[Bold Seagull]

Typical man reaction. She's a slapper because she's sleeping with her neighbour. Perhaps she sees him as her one true love and has only ever slept with him? No, like a typical man you automatically assume she would be sleeping around.

Him being married with a child doesn't come into her moral compass then?

One true love my arse bloody, she's a slapper, tempting this good man with her pert bum and ample breasts!

 

[Brok]

Typical man reaction. She's a slapper because she's sleeping with her neighbour. Perhaps she sees him as her one true love and has only ever slept with him? No, like a typical man you automatically assume she would be sleeping around.

Exactly. Maybe she put the pin in the condom?

 

[Acker79]

What is the four year-old's motivation for putting pins in condoms?

Perhaps with the apparent irretrievable breakdown of his father's relationship with his wife (evidenced by the clandestine affair with the young neighbour, plus morosely drinking beer alone in a pub), it was his only way of believing a sibling (or half-sibling's) appearance was possible. Advanced thinking for a four year-old, but not without its pitfalls.

However, surely the father would have noticed the piercing in the foil of the condom wrapping, plus there is the increased risk of a tear in the condom itself.

A curious tale.

Wait a minute, break down in relationship? Clandestine liaisons? What is your basis for that? There is no mention of the wife. It's possible she died in child birth, and the neighbour was kind enough to help this man during his mourning, cleaning, cooking, taking care of the baby to allow the man to cry over his loss without the baby being neglected, and over time a bond formed between them, late one night, when she was old enough and he had dealt with the emotions of such loss, he and the neighbour discover a kinship, and a kiss on a rainy night after a few too many glasses of wine with their supper, and they embark on a new, invigorating relationship.

The trouble the kid puts them in could be financial, perhaps this man and his young neighbour are not in a position financially to support two babies. Perhaps the trouble is related to them having potentially incompatible genes, or maybe they had planned a flight away together as a family and he is concerned that they will have to cancel the holiday and sort through holiday insurance claims.

Let's not disparage either the man or the young neighbour, or jump to conclusions without all the facts.

 

[Acker79]

Him being married with a child doesn't come into her moral compass then?

One true love my arse bloody, she's a slapper, tempting this good man with her pert bum and ample breasts!

Who said he was married?

Surely calling the kid a bastard would indicate he wasn't?

 

[element]

I was going to carry on reading Heidegger's Being and Time this evening, but don't have to now having read this enthralling deconstruction of a borderline funny jokette! Tanks amigos