Joke du Jour

[chops]

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman walk into a bar.
"Where's the Welshman?" the barman asks.
"Still in New Zealand."

 

[Everest]

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman walk into a bar.
"Where's the Welshman?" the barman asks.
"Talking to the 'Let's Kick Racism Out' group"

 

[Manx Shearwater]

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman are about to be shot by firing squad and are given last requests.

The Irishman: "I'd like to do some of that Riverdance thing for you all to enjoy"

The Englishman: "I'd like to perform some traditional morris dancing for you all to enjoy"

The Scotsman: "Please, shoot me first"

 

[Don't get me started]

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman walk into a bar.

The Barman says

"Is this some kind of Joke"?

 

[chops]

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman walk into a bar.
"Where's the Welshman?" the barman asks.
"Talking to the 'Let's Kick Racism Out' group"

This joke is clearly nationalist, not racist. Don't like it? Get better at rugby.

 

[Everest]

Couldn't give a shit about rugby.

 

[mrhairy]

Paul Mc Cartney is already upset with his new wife. Apparently she is spending twice as much on shoes than his last one!

 

[chucky1973]

Paul Mc Cartney is already upset with his new wife. Apparently she is spending twice as much on shoes than his last one!

 

[chucky1973]

you didnt finish the joke....

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman walk into a bar.
"Where's the Welshman?" the barman asks.
"Still in New Zealand...sharing the sheep with the Kiwis..."

 

[BensGrandad]

Cahpa asked on raido what he would do if he had won the lottery
Answered I would buy Portsmouth FC but if I had 4 number buy CPFC as well

He actually said Southampton but I changed it to CPFC.

 

[Easy 10]

Paul Mc Cartney is already upset with his new wife. Apparently she is spending twice as much on shoes than his last one!

McCartney is also struggling to adjust to his new wife. Every time she asks him for a foot-rub, he still automatically reaches for the sandpaper.

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

The court case of Michael Jackson has discovered that he wore pyjamas to bed, he wore adult tops but liked to squeeze himself into children's bottoms.

 

[Uncle C]

All we need now is for iPhones to start playing up and we'll have the dream headline: Apple and Blackberry crumble

 

[Matrix10]

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman attempted to gain admission to the last Olympic games without a ticket, but were turned away by the gateman.
The Englishman says I have a great idea, strips off to his underpants and vest and returns to the gateman and say Smithers, 5000 metres, Ok says the gateman in you go.
The Scotsman says I have a great idea too, and chops down a telegraph pole, walks up to the gateman with the pole under his arm and says McGreggor, Caber Tossing, OK says the gateman in you go.
The Irishman thinks for a while, and heads to the hardware shop where he buys a roll of barbed wire tucks it under his arm walks up to the gateman and says Murphy, Fencing

 

[bhaexpress]

All we need now is for iPhones to start playing up and we'll have the dream headline: Apple and Blackberry crumble

You should hear the whinning we're getting from our Blackberry users, no matter how many times we tell them the wankers still don't believe that we know when the problems will be resolved !

 

[Matrix10]

A Solomon Islander walks into the Doctors and says I would like to be castrated please, the doctor explains that if this is done it is totally irreversible, to which the Solomon Islander replies the he is fully aware of this but wishes for it to be done. Despite further prevarications from the doctor the Solomon Islander still insists he want to be castrated, so the doctor obliges, SNIP SNIP
He leaves the surgery and meets his friend walking towards him, and says “Hello Murphy where are you going?”
Murphy replies “Hello Paddy, I am off to the doctor to be circumcised”
“FORK IT THAT WAS THE WORD” says Paddy

(Hope there are no Solomon Isladers to accuse me of racism)

 

[mistahclarke]

All we need now is for iPhones to start playing up and we'll have the dream headline: Apple and Blackberry crumble

 

[chucky1973]

The court case of Michael Jackson has discovered that he wore pyjamas to bed, he wore adult tops but liked to squeeze himself into children's bottoms.

..