I've done a POO in my SHED

[TheJasperCo]

Christen it Charlie.

 

[Questions]

How weird is that. If you just read the threads before logging in (pun very much intended) you get a Northstandchat advert come up after the opening post. Well mine was was sheds and summer houses. No sign of El Pres though 'strangling a darkie.'

 

[vegster]

Another example of the BBC dumbing down ?

 

[Vegas Seagull]

Ah, POO SHED.

By Salt n Pepa, if I recall correctly.

Pooch it good

 

[Worthingite]

Ah, POO SHED.

By Salt n Pepa, if I recall correctly.

Im never going to not hear that now....

 

[DumLum]

Pics or it didn't happen.

 

[Mellor 3 Ward 4]

Ah, the shed, the new name for the away dressing room.

 

[virgs]

As with the white smoke from the vatican - the smell of fresh poo heralds the departure of an old ineffectual pope -and the arrival of a new manager

 

[Wrong-Direction]

Are you trying to rival Ernest with "shite" stories?

 

[LamieRobertson]

Another example of the BBC dumbing down ?

wouldn't 'dumping down' be more appropriate

 

[gregbrighton]

Were you wearing your poppy at the time.

 

[El Presidente]

Were you wearing your poppy at the time.

More ploppy than poppy.

 

[dangull]

I have no idea why i'm reading this thread. That's 5 minutes of my life that i won't ever get back.

 

[Munkfish]

You dirty sonovabitch. I hope you went and washed your Mucky gooch.

 

[AmexRuislip]

Was out walking the dog as usual, then felt a twitching in the buttocks signalling that I was approaching Dresden. Was about 10 minutes from home so no problems, and thought that when I arrived home it would have brewed for the right time for a quality dump.

Arrived home, realised I had locked myself out, and wife would not be home for an hour. I initially thought this would be no issue, but my arse was not taking no for an answer, and within a few minutes I was in that slightly awkward hopping mode that indicates you have a mole at the counter.

Therefore in desperation, I raided the bin for a piece of cardboard, popped into my SHED, dropped my trolleys, assumed the Johnny Wilkinson penalty position and curled out an enormous DOUGLAS, which left my buttocks like an otter off a riverbank, and made a very satisfying 'splat' when it his the target. I was nervously looking out of the shed window in case the neighbours saw me, but fortunately there was no sign of them.

I'm sure we have all done spectacular PLOPS in our time, but their magnitude is usually lost as half or more of them slides round the U-bend in the khazi. This was a prize specimen, a huge brown trout that had I laid it in the bog would have been a triple flushed, and possible call to the coastguard to give a warning to shipping of an imminent brownberg. I felt so proud I nearly gave it a name, but decided against.

I did of course fold up the cardboard wrapping and put it in the bin (not the recycling one) before resuming awaiting the return of the wife.

It's okay, you don't need to thank me for sharing x

 

[Ceej]

About 10 years ago I got an extremely virulent tummy bug. It was some sort of gastric flu. Anyway, I came down in the morning and thought I needed a tiny fart. Unfortunately for our beautiful shorthaired, blacktipped BRIGHT WHITE British Shorthair cat, it was not just a fart. She got really quite a shock and sped through the cat flap. Much consternation from my part (and hers) as the full force of the illness was just coming on. The whole family got it in the end. Real Family Guy projectile voms etc. A real crawl to the bog debilitating bug. Never happened since. The cat's still with us. Ciao.

 

[El Presidente]

I have no idea why i'm reading this thread. That's 5 minutes of my life that i won't ever get back.

That's what I said leaving the shed.

 

[vegster]

More ploppy than poppy.

I do hope you bring a small sample in to stick under Sally ( The Witch ) Nugent's nose.

 

[Chicken Run]

Really cool stally Bro....

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Shouldn't this be on the 'Yet another steamer' thread?