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It's gone 11pm, I've had a whiskey, lets hear some of our favourite VIZ quotes;



JamesAndTheGiantHead

Well-known member
Sep 2, 2011
6,346
Worthing
9b95yp.jpg
 






surrey jim

Not in Surrey
Aug 2, 2005
18,161
Bevendean
AVOID jet lag by simply taking an earlier flight, thus arriving fully refreshed and on time.
 


surrey jim

Not in Surrey
Aug 2, 2005
18,161
Bevendean
SAVE money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate – Mr KVL 741Y
 


Simster

"the man's an arse"
Jul 7, 2003
54,915
Surrey
Billy Bound, it's always his round:

Mate: ''Shite I've left my keys in your car, back in a sec.''
Billy: ''It's all right I'll get 'em.''
Mate: ''Cheers mate, mine's a Stella, I'm just going to get my keys.''

Mate:I'm going home to a lovely tea tonight
Billy: Oh, what you having?
Mate: I'll have a pint please Billy, cheers.
 








Danny-Boy

Banned
Apr 21, 2009
5,579
The Coast
"There's nuffin to do around here, let's go and torch the community centre". Kappa (lately Tasha, for legal reasons) Slapper.

"USS Enterprise crew members, if you have never before appeared in an episode and Captain Kirk orders you to "beam down" to an alien planet with him and the other well known cast members it is best to refuse. If you do you will be killed."

Remember that Startrek one.:lol::lol: Will have to go digging under my bed for some back issues now.

No, not THOSE kind of back issues....
 






fire&skill

Killer-Diller
Jan 17, 2009
4,296
Shoreham-by-Sea
Motorists; Don't waste money on air-conditioning; just buy a car that's been involved in a fatal road traffic accident and the ghosts will keep you cool.
 


Lord Bamber

Legendary Chairman
Feb 23, 2009
4,366
Heaven
Fun sized mars bars make ideal normal-sized Mars bars for dwarfs

Pretend you've reached the 'Eliminator' stage on Gladiators by running the wrong way up an escalator in Marks & Spencer

Dyslexics. Try deliberately spelling words wrongly.This way at least you have a chance of spelling them correctly.
 




Durlston

"You plonker, Rodney!"
NSC Patron
Jul 15, 2009
10,013
Haywards Heath
I loved Viz. Roger Mellie (the man on the telly) and Sid the Sexist were my favourites. :clap:

Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hang-over by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on a wall.

Ramblers. In the country, leaving gates open will help the farmer out as he will not have to climb down from his tractor.
 


FamilyGuy

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
2,486
Crawley
Fun sized mars bars make ideal normal-sized Mars bars for dwarfs

Pretend you've reached the 'Eliminator' stage on Gladiators by running the wrong way up an escalator in Marks & Spencer

Dyslexics. Try deliberately spelling words wrongly.This way at least you have a chance of spelling them correctly.

Normal sized Mars bars make great fun sized Mars Bars for Giants!!
Beer bottle tops make great lifeboats for flies!
 












birthofanorange

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Aug 31, 2011
6,436
David Gilmour's armpit
I sent them an idea for a new character a few years ago - 'Tourhett Butler - the swearing manservant'. They did use it for a one-off cartoon (and they even paid me) but it had loads more mileage in it, imho.

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a f****** c****** etc..etc..damn! " :)
 






JamesAndTheGiantHead

Well-known member
Sep 2, 2011
6,346
Worthing
I sent them an idea for a new character a few years ago - 'Tourhett Butler - the swearing manservant'. They did use it for a one-off cartoon (and they even paid me) but it had loads more mileage in it, imho.

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a f****** c****** etc..etc..damn! " :)

That's quite the claim, of which I'm jealous. WE WANT PROOF!
 


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