Eric Youngs Contact Lens
Well-known member
This.. similar to "positive intent" mentioned earlier.Anyway, OP - it sounds like you're doing the right thing, don't doubt yourself. See HR as your allies and ask them to support you in getting the right outcome for your organisation. You can spin it onto your team member too and ask them, in front of HR, what they'd like you to do differently - make it not about them, but the impact of their behaviour so it's not personal. "We need to do X so our business can make money and survive/serve our customers/whatever the language your place uses is...how do we work together to do that?". Make it clear you're prepared to listen and adjust and keep being the reasonable one, and ask HR (with your team member in the room) to support you both in drawing up an action plan for resolving the situation that makes it measurable whether improvement has taken place and with regular reviews of that, with HR, so it doesn't drag on. Document everything and every conversation you have with the team member confirm understanding in writing after - it can be done informally, it doesn't have to be formal, but it documents things and gives them the opportunity to contest it which might be important later.
If the employee is not really committed to the improvements they will tire of the situation before you. There will be frustrations along the way, and important that you are diligent, detailed and consistent to deal with those, but the mindset Happy Exile describes above is spot on IMO.