Getting over a serious break up - HELP!!!!!!

[LamieRobertson]

You'll just have to accept, however difficult it is, that it will never be a couple relationship. It may well be that she just doesn't fancy you, but you don't need to dig deeper to find out more 'sad news'. Each day, once you begin to accept this it will get easier, have the total willpower a day at a time, to not pursue her anymore in that way. You will only put her off further, and turn it sour by appearing a pest. But down the road, there will be someone perfect for you.

Regarding the 'just friends' thing, it may never be the same again ... you will still quietly wish it was more, and she will be wary of you or getting too close again. If too awkward after a while and you don't particularly like the job anyway, look at getting another job elsewhere.

First though, you need to deal with the depression/anxiety. Until you do this properly, you will make it less likely that you come across as attractive as a potential partner. These conditions have been suffered by a large minority of the populace at one time or another, most of whom have gone on to have fulfilling lives, so so not consider yourself odd. Your GP will get the ball rolling for you if you tell the truth of the extent and its effect on you. Once you, with help, have truly dealt with this, everything else in your life will improve for the better.

All the best.

What a kind considerate post

 

[7:18]

some really kind and supportive responses in this thread, fully appreciated. A few days on and I'm still the same really, tried completely avoiding and not talking to for a while, then caved, and also spent time talking to her in person as "friends" but it just didnt feel right...at the moment want to be friends but really don't think my heart can take it further down the line when hearing about who she fancies, boyfriends etc...but its clear she doesn't have feelings for me any more than being friends. What makes it worse is all the "you're a special friend, I can always rely on you, you'll meet someone more deserving of you than me" bollocks!

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

some really kind and supportive responses in this thread, fully appreciated. A few days on and I'm still the same really, tried completely avoiding and not talking to for a while, then caved, and also spent time talking to her in person as "friends" but it just didnt feel right...at the moment want to be friends but really don't think my heart can take it further down the line when hearing about who she fancies, boyfriends etc...but its clear she doesn't have feelings for me any more than being friends. What makes it worse is all the "you're a special friend, I can always rely on you, you'll meet someone more deserving of you than me" bollocks!

Keep strong. That last comment is for her not you, to make her feel better that she is such a kind human being. You need to show, she can't " rely on you ". That means if it goes tits up with the guy she will meet she knows you will be on the backburner waiting for a crumb of affection. Fck that, you are better than that ! There is nothing worse than being a friend to someone you love, been there. Don't go down that road as it will destroy you when she inevitably meets someone she is attracted to and gets together with. The love game is more brutal than anything else you will encounter in life so fence your heart off, back off, preferably go no contact and heal. One day someone will come into your life that accepts you as you are. You don't need to change as some people have said, you are you. Be proud of that. Good luck we are all with you.

 

[nwgull]

US is right about this - don't let her think that she can rely on you. Also delete her number from your phone so you can't text her - drunken or sober - without having to dig out the piece of paper you've written it on.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

You can guarantee that if you say " I am not here to be relied on " and play hard ball you will miraculously become more attractive to her. It will probably not be enough but you will, for sure. Being the good guy and towing the line will get you nowhere ? How do I know ? I have been that mug before. Drop her like a stone and she will not know wtf is going on.

 

[Stoo82]

Keep strong. That last comment is for her not you, to make her feel better that she is such a kind human being. You need to show, she can't " rely on you ". That means if it goes tits up with the guy she will meet she knows you will be on the backburner waiting for a crumb of affection. Fck that, you are better than that ! There is nothing worse than being a friend to someone you love, been there. Don't go down that road as it will destroy you when she inevitably meets someone she is attracted to and gets together with. The love game is more brutal than anything else you will encounter in life so fence your heart off, back off, preferably go no contact and heal. One day someone will come into your life that accepts you as you are. You don't need to change as some people have said, you are you. Be proud of that. Good luck we are all with you.

Remarkably good advice Uncle Spielberg.

 

[Jam]

I read the thread title and thought that this was yet another Ashley Barnes thread.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Remarkably good advice Uncle Spielberg.

Strange I know !

 

[Nibble]

No-matter how beautiful, funny, attractive she is. Remember, some bloke somewhere is sick of her sh*t.

 

[Psychobilly freakout]

No-matter how beautiful, funny, attractive she is. Remember, some bloke somewhere is sick of her sh*t.

Ha.... getting bossed about this morning are you Mr Nibble

 

[Nibble]

Ha.... getting bossed about this morning are you Mr Nibble

Ha! Fortunately not, Nibble is free and single atm. Well, single anyway!