Genuine stupid headlines in newspapers

[Juan Albion]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

 

[(was)DBS]

 

[Deano's Right Foot]

A vandalism story in the Crawley Observer many years ago had the headline:

Youth Kicked in Bollards

 

[Titanic]

GOTCHA

 

[CAFC Matt]

Some of them are quite funny

 

[Lord Bracknell]

I once saw an Argus placard (the thing they display outside newsagents' shops) that said

HOVE BLAZE SURVIVOR FOUND DEAD

Made me wonder what they thought the word "survivor" meant.

 

[Tooting Gull]

Most of them aren't 'stupid' at all. Highly amusing.

 

[Meade's Ball]

I laughed when i saw
BARRYMORE PAL FOUND DEAD FACE DOWN IN PANTS

 

[CAFC Matt]

I once saw an Argus placard (the thing they display outside newsagents' shops) that said

HOVE BLAZE SURVIVOR FOUND DEAD

Made me wonder what they thought the word "survivor" meant.

Just proves the Argus is really a SHIT newspaper

 

[Little Piggy]

There's nothing specifically funny about this one, but the Irish Evening Enquirer placard that said

DERANGED OLYMPICS PRIEST - FATHER TED LINK

 

[The Large One]

Today's Argus - FEARS OVER 'SELECTIVE' NEW SCHOOL

Not a stupid headline compared to the story, but this is the City Council's take on just about the most inclusive school in the city. I f***ing hate the education department of the city council.

 

[unnameable]

"Protestants and Catholics unite to fight ecumenicism."
This headline appeared in The Irish Times some years ago.

 

[Chesney Christ]

I saw a headline on the front page of a local paper once which said:

RAT RUN DEATH CRASH WARNING

which is nothing more than a collection of words randomly put together. And probably THE most tabloid headline of all time.

 

[Lord Bracknell]

probably THE most tabloid headline of all time.

Surely not.

This is the winner (from the News of the World):-

NUDIST WELFAREMAN'S MODEL WIFE FELL FOR THE CHINESE HYPNOTIST FROM THE CO-OP BACON FACTORY

 

[Lord Bracknell]

JUDGE NOT CONVINCED MURDER VICTIM IS ALIVE

The Baltimore Sun

 

[Lord Bracknell]

ICELANDIC FISH TALKS

Grimsby Telegraph

 

[fatboy]

JUDGE NOT CONVINCED MURDER VICTIM IS ALIVE

The Baltimore Sun

Best so far.

 

[perseus]

Gaddafi 'eyes Palace bid'


Colonel Gaddafi owns a stake in Juventus
Libyan leader Colonel Gaddafi could buy newly-promoted Crystal Palace, according to newspaper reports.
"I've been told that Gaddafi and his son are interested in acquiring Palace," the club's chairman Simon Jordan told the Guardian.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/c/crystal_palace/3902583.stm

 

[wolfie]

Claver one from the Coventry Evening Telegraph a few years ago when they were trying to think of names for streets on a new estate linked to the City's motor industry ;
"Street car names desired"

 

[clapham_gull]

Often quoted, but clever "Mary Poppins" headline from the Sun when Calidonian Thistle beat Celtic in the cup..

SUPER CALLY ARE FANTASTIC CELTIC ARE ATROCIOUS

My personal favourite was a Sun Story about a policeman who had a sex change, who was sacked but then reinstated after a trubunal

"NO NOBBY BOBBY KEEPS JOBBY"

.. and that was a front page headline.

Doea anybody remember the "UP YOURS DELORS" campaign a few years ago, with maps and directions of where to stick your fingers up ?