red star portslade
New member
The wife and i have been discussing at length the possibility of becoming foster parents Anyone have any experience of fostering? good or bad would be greatly appreciated.
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Fostering
- Thread starter red star portslade
- Start date
cornish seagull
cornish seagull
Never Fostered myself but before retiring last year had worked with Foster Carers and Children in Care for over 30yrs. Why don't you contact the Fostering association and have a chat, they are brilliant and will give sound advice. Alternatively post me a private message and I would be only to pleased to have a natter. The only thing I would say is that the majority of children coming through the Care system exhibit challenging behaviour as many have suffered years of abuse/neglect and will need massive time and commitment from their carers, but the rewards can be tremendous .
red star portslade
New member
- Thread starter
- #4
Thanks Cornish
I did fostering many years ago.
I'd suggest starting off doing respite to see how it impacts on your relationships and if its for you longer term. There's quite a commitment to the kids and the last thing they need is being moved on again.
Having said that, I eventually stopped because I couldn't cope with the more challenging behaviour and didn't get the support I needed from social services when I asked for it. It was difficult to ask them to take away a young vulnerable girl, but bumped into her a while after with her new carer and was pleased that she was still happy to see me.
If you get good social workers, it's very rewarding, but many of them are overloaded. if you are good, they'll leave you alone as they'll have more challenging issues elsewhere.
If you want to ask any specific questions, feel free to PM me.
I'd suggest starting off doing respite to see how it impacts on your relationships and if its for you longer term. There's quite a commitment to the kids and the last thing they need is being moved on again.
Having said that, I eventually stopped because I couldn't cope with the more challenging behaviour and didn't get the support I needed from social services when I asked for it. It was difficult to ask them to take away a young vulnerable girl, but bumped into her a while after with her new carer and was pleased that she was still happy to see me.
If you get good social workers, it's very rewarding, but many of them are overloaded. if you are good, they'll leave you alone as they'll have more challenging issues elsewhere.
If you want to ask any specific questions, feel free to PM me.
cornish seagull
cornish seagull
This. If you get a good supportive Social Worker, it makes things a whole lot better but they are so overloaded and sadly supporting Carers is a low priority due to the other demands, mostly paper work!!!!
Anniewit
New member
Hi Red star, I am currently fostering and have great connections and support. Happy to meet or talk further if you are interested. The wife is constantly going to coffee mornings with other carers and our children are doing really well.
Never fostered myself, but have volunteered in assisting children in foster care. All I can say is that what you are considering is one of the nicest things that you can offer.
Dependent on what ages and whether its long term/short term fostering, the challanges will differ. I know a couple who have just started fostering and they opted for babies/infants. They found it very rewarding, but also very saddening to let go of the little ones as they had made an attachment.
I have also known a couple who have taken on older children as long term foster carers. Very different as the children have past issues to deal with, but equally rewarding as you see the kids develop and grow in confidence.
As others have said, go in with your eyes wide open, and get all the support you need. Respite is a neccessity, but also in the case of older children make sure that each child has an independent visitor. This is something that I do voluntarily, whereby I befriend a child in care, take them out, have a laugh etc. But its another day or couple of days a month where you can have a break.
This is one of the warmest gifts that you can make.........giving a child a home and I give you all my best.
Good luck
Dependent on what ages and whether its long term/short term fostering, the challanges will differ. I know a couple who have just started fostering and they opted for babies/infants. They found it very rewarding, but also very saddening to let go of the little ones as they had made an attachment.
I have also known a couple who have taken on older children as long term foster carers. Very different as the children have past issues to deal with, but equally rewarding as you see the kids develop and grow in confidence.
As others have said, go in with your eyes wide open, and get all the support you need. Respite is a neccessity, but also in the case of older children make sure that each child has an independent visitor. This is something that I do voluntarily, whereby I befriend a child in care, take them out, have a laugh etc. But its another day or couple of days a month where you can have a break.
This is one of the warmest gifts that you can make.........giving a child a home and I give you all my best.
Good luck
Dick Knights Mumm
Take me Home Falmer Road
Well put my friend. My parents fostered teenagers - and my mother used to say sometimes there was no simply no other door that was open for them. What must that feel like to a teenager ?
Sompting_Seagull
Well-known member
See my PM redstar.....'Families for Children', contacted via website or through your matchday programme in the 'friends of the albion' section, best fostering company in Sussex.
Return of the Rev
Well-known member
Baffled as to why children would be in care for over 30 years but then again its the west country
Medwayseagull
JCB
Slightly different perspective - I was an only child in my early teens when my parents started fostering teenage girls so I saw some of the challenges from a slightly different perspective. They were still fostering after I left home and I acted like a sort of surrogate elder brother to some of the girls providing advice and guidance. My parents ended up getting a big splash in the Argus when they eventually gave up fostering in their late sixties. Believe me teenage girls are the most challenging group to foster and some of the stories I could tell you would make you wonder; but my parents found it incredible rewarding. Some of the girls went on to make good lives for themselves but a minority continued to have significant problems into their adulthood. PM me if you want any further info.