Favourite one-liners from comedy sitcoms

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Garage_Doors

Originally the Swankers
Jun 28, 2008
11,789
Brighton
Granddad in OFAH. "What's he got, a Wendy House" From the reaction of David Jason, I swear that was an ad-lib that got left in.

Is there a link or any more information on this, Thought i had seem them all but don't remember this gag, did a youtube search but found nothing?
 




Durlston

"Two grams please!"
NSC Patron
Jul 15, 2009
9,791
A few more OFAH:

Del: "Asking us if we know anything about chandeliers is like asking Mr Kipling if he knows anything about cakes".

Del playing cards for big money with Boycey. Del: "Ffffffour aces!" Boycey: I didn't know you were good at maths, Del".

Del to Grandad when he's unscrewing the bolts doing the chandelier: "Do you need a jemmy, Grandad?" No thanks. I 'ad one before we left!" :lolol:
 




BadFish

Huge Member
Oct 19, 2003
17,207
"Money tennis!" Never fails to make me laugh, despite seeing it hundreds of times.
 


Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
19,961
Playing snooker
Mrs Slocombe in Are You Being Served:

“I hope this isn’t going to take long, Captain Peacock. The last time I was late, a fireman had to climb out of my bedroom window and risk his life on a narrow ledge tryin’ to grab hold of my c.unt.”

Or something like that :shrug:
 




Durlston

"Two grams please!"
NSC Patron
Jul 15, 2009
9,791
Is there a link or any more information on this, Thought i had seem them all but don't remember this gag, did a youtube search but found nothing?

I'm 95% certain it was in one of the early episodes. When I watched it I didn't think it was that funny but Lennard Pearce was such a brilliant actor that he could make a joke out of anything with perfect timing.
 




Triggaaar

Well-known member
Oct 24, 2005
50,285
Goldstone
Was he wild when you found him?

Wild? I was livid!
Have you done that from memory?
"When I caught Gerald, in '68, he was completely wild"
"Wild? I was absolutely lived!"
 




Triggaaar

Well-known member
Oct 24, 2005
50,285
Goldstone
It was in the script, I have a book with all the scripts in.
Does the book say the script is as originally written, and then make notes if anyone ever ad-libbed, or have they added the ad-libbing so that the script reflects what was broadcast?
 












KVLT

New member
Sep 15, 2008
1,675
Rutland
Father Ted: Dougal, you know you can praise God in other ways.
Father Dougal: Oh yeah, like that time you told me I could praise him just by leaving the room.

O'Reilly: I'm tellin' you, if the good lord...
Basil Fawlty: ...Is mentioned once more, I shall move you closer to him.
 








Arthritic Toe

Well-known member
Nov 25, 2005
2,411
Swindon
My all-time favourite - I think it was 2 Ronnies:

Customer (Barker): I want some deoderant please.
Foreign shopkeeper with strange accent(Corbett): Ball or aerosol? (pronounced arrrsol)
Customer (indignant): Neither! Its for under my arms!

Or something like that. Not even certain which Ronnie did which part.
 






smeg

New member
Feb 11, 2013
980
BN13
"Oh hello I'm a doctor I'm going to be fingering you today" You can barely get a quote from Phoneshop in but this one is a start :bowdown:
 




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