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Charging family for Xmas dinner







Thunder Bolt

Silly old bat
Thanks, but with respect, that's just a donation request to a charity - not really what I had in mind .....

I guess if it involves kids then it has to consider CRB/DBS [I have one as a sports coach] and so the risk / complexity probably outweighs the benefit / opportunity - oh hum

It may be just a donation, but it does ensure a homeless person gets a hot meal, health check, and fresh clothes.
 


looney

Banned
Jul 7, 2003
15,652
Allways been an eat and drink for free attitude in my family and relatives, given there is going to be 18 tomorrow thats quite a bill, but it rotates around houses.
 


tinycowboy

Well-known member
Aug 9, 2008
4,002
Canterbury
The amount my wife has spent in Waitrose, I would LOVE to pass a collection bowl around at the table, but I fear it would not be in the spirit of family Xmas.
 


Billy the Fish

Technocrat
Oct 18, 2005
17,508
Haywards Heath
Exactly. Totting up what one's family owes them per plate is crass, vulgar and shows zero class.

Spot on.

Everyone's situation is different and it's perfectly acceptable to spread the burden between working adults, but most normal people would just work it out informally and chip in between them. Having set rules and costs is bizarre, and that that woman comes across as mean.
 




BigGully

Well-known member
Sep 8, 2006
7,139
I've always felt a strange sense of privilege and extravagance at Christmas - I wouldn't consider myself particularly wealthy but I'm not skint either.

So when we fill our faces with food & drink and buy gifts for each other, I can't help but reflect and think of the many, many people who are unable to dip into such luxury, even for a special few days each year. I have always wanted to invite an under-privileged stranger to join my small family [Mrs + 2 grown up girls & partners] to make it a special time for them too. Whether that be a Syrian orphan, a Chernobyl child with a short life expectancy or a homeless teenager from the local area.

Has anyone else done such a thing as I don't really know how to go about it ....

I have no doubt your stranger aspiration is honourable, but I have seen a few people say similar things and I find it a little unesay if I am honest.

It feels more of treat for the hosts than any likely vulnerable recipient, on our local facebook page a well meaning mother was asking if there is anywhere she might go to give a food hamper, she was adament though that her children must also be present and personally give them out to the unexpectant hungry homeless man.

It just seems a little too me me me, if you want to do something great, but it seems that in some circumstances in return you demand to own them for a short while, which is less attractive.
 


Perkino

Well-known member
Dec 11, 2009
5,988
I think everyone bringing a dish/drink or whatever is the way to go. That way you get some input and not just someone else's idea of Christmas. Actually cooking a main course is not that expensive anyway once the meat is paid for. Spuds and veg cost **** all even in large quantities, what else is there? A few sauces and gravy. I reckon for a medium sized family, the main course should cost no more than £100 all in. If you can't treat your family to what is essentially a turbo charged Roast dinner, you're a tightarse who doesn't deserve to have such loyal family.

Easily

We have 9 of us for Boxing Day a gammon joint and a turkey crown plus everything else. All for about £50. It was my suggestion to invite my wife's family over and wouldn't dare ask for any money towards it, we have the biggest space and they all want to see each other at Christmas time.
 


Prince Monolulu

Everything in Moderation
Oct 2, 2013
10,201
The Race Hill
Got the in-laws coming, no fees involved.


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beorhthelm

A. Virgo, Football Genius
Jul 21, 2003
35,329
not sure which is worse, charging £60 (wtf! ) or wanting to tell the world about it. obviously no shame, you'd have thought the relatives would be telling the story, but the women seems to be happy to tell the world.
 




BensGrandad

New member
Jul 13, 2003
72,015
Haywards Heath
There will be 19 of us for Christmas Dinner at youngest sons so we have bought the meat and vegtables every body else provides the rest and drink. Wife has made malteser cheesecake and mince pies I have got Cristmas pud cos only 2 or 3 of us like it. Is it an age thing that the yougsters dont like Christmas Pud?
 






WATFORD zero

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 10, 2003
25,919
We will host 8 and supply everything as we have for the last few years (for anything between 8-14)

But earlier in life when things were a little harder, for large meals with friends or family we would often take a course each with each couple bringing, starters, deserts, cheeseboard and chocolates, together with wine and the hosts doing main course. I have just always considered this would be the way any normal people (ie not money grabbing *******s) would organise it :shrug:
 


Cheshire Cat

The most curious thing..




lawros left foot

Glory hunting since 1969
Jun 11, 2011
13,730
Worthing
The table is set, the champagne’s on ice and crackers sit by the plates.
All that remains is for the guests to arrive for Christmas lunch, where they will be welcomed with open arms.
As long as they have paid up in advance, that is.
This is the reality of Christmas Day festivities at the home of Leah Wright this year.
She has invited 12 people — all family — to celebrate with her and her partner, Andrew Fuller, at their comfortable home in South London.
Yet she has made it clear that guests can only attend if they pay her £60 per couple for the privilege.
And if you’re coming without a plus one?
Too bad.
Leah’s mother and sister are attending without partners and must still fork out £60 each.
Not only that, but Leah insists on having the money in advance — cash or a bank transfer directly into the couple’s account.
For providing the lunch, she has a budget of just over £400.
It’s a sum that will leave Leah with a profit from her guests’ contributions, and cover the cost of her own and Andrew’s Christmas lunch.
And her guests won’t even get a glass of wine for their £60 fee — they have been asked to bring a bottle with them.


This, absolute tosh, family traditional meal has gone out of the window.
In my grandparents day, we all used to go round (about 12 people), with each family chipping in with certain items of food and drink.
Too commercialised I'm afraid.

She is from South London, I wonder if she would accept 2p in the pound?
What a miserly thing to do, I think you can get a very decent hotel to do Christmas dinner for about sixty quid a head, and you get a glass of champagne thrown in. Relative or not, I'd tell her to stick it where the sun don't shine.
 




AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
33,857
Ruislip
She is from South London, I wonder if she would accept 2p in the pound?
What a miserly thing to do, I think you can get a very decent hotel to do Christmas dinner for about sixty quid a head, and you get a glass of champagne thrown in. Relative or not, I'd tell her to stick it where the sun don't shine.

Absolutely right :thumbsup:
 


LVGull

New member
May 13, 2016
1,959
We had 24 family round for Xmas dinner a few years ago as the wife wanted one more Christmas with everyone knowing full well her dad wouldn't make another one. hired a marquee, tables, chairs, got all the food in from cash and carry, got the wines and beers roughly £500.

Never asked for a penny.


When all had gone we were clearing up and found an envelope with £200 in.

That's exactly what we are doing tomorrow. How did you find it? We have 23!!
 




That's exactly what we are doing tomorrow. How did you find it? We have 23!!

Brilliant, everyone pitched in.

I live in a very modest 2 up 2 down so only one toilet too. A Galley kitchen big enough for 3 max people to have floor space.

You just muck in, we even catered for 3 vegetarians who were astounded that their spuds, gravy and roast was kept separate to avoid cross contamination.

As I said earlier, it was hard work but the memories will live forever.

Good luck.
 




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