Bell Cheeses at work

[whitelion]

Usually its these people that dial your extension and upon answering it they ask you ......

"hello is that <insert name>



aaahhhh you frickin dialled it you simpleton , are your fingers that fat you cant press the buttons correctly ?

If the person that was dialled wasn't at their desk it may have been answered by a colleague.

 

[pasty]

In light of recent events, and previous history, can I nominate Joey Barton into the all time Bell Cheeses At Work Hall of Fame.

 

[Napper]

If the person that was dialled wasn't at their desk it may have been answered by a colleague.

granted.

Zero chance of that here though

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

Usually its these people that dial your extension and upon answering it they ask you ......

"hello is that <insert name>



aaahhhh you frickin dialled it you simpleton , are your fingers that fat you cant press the buttons correctly ?

Thing is, if you're in an office environment there's every chance that the intended victim of your call won't actually be at their desk, leaving it to be answered by some poor wandering individual who just wants the noise to end...

 

[pasty]

Usually its these people that dial your extension and upon answering it they ask you ......

"hello is that <insert name>



aaahhhh you frickin dialled it you simpleton , are your fingers that fat you cant press the buttons correctly ?

Unfortunately for me, my ext is an anagram of the Company owners wife, who is also Operations Director (4351 / 4531). The amount of calls I get for her is mental.

 

[Badger]

In light of recent events, and previous history, can I nominate Joey Barton into the all time Bell Cheeses At Work Hall of Fame.

I'm not even sure he'd make it into the top ten. Does he bring a DOG to work? Does he eat STINKING food at his desk? Does he use business BULLSHIT phrases? Does he insist on telling you every MINUTE detail about his weekend?

I think it would be far more entertaining to have him in your office than some of the BELLCHEESES on this thread.

 

[Badger]

*email comes in*
*IM message comes in immediately after*
"Have you read my email yet?"

No. No I have not. Ugh. People.

This is an absolute classic. I used to work with a project manager who would send me an email and 10 seconds later he'd appear next to my desk asking if I'd seen it. I did politely tell him to stop doing it, and to his credit he admitted he was being a bit of a TOOL and stopped.

 

[Guinness Boy]

Week 4 since my small, lean company has been taken over by a corporate behemoth. Been invited to "reach out" and "ping someone" twice in half an hour. May be on this thread more and more.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[dazzer6666]

*email comes in*
*IM message comes in immediately after*
"Have you read my email yet?"

No. No I have not. Ugh. People.

Similar to the curse of the 'read receipt' button. I had an email from someone this morning that started 'thank you for taking the time to read my earlier email......'

I didn't read it. I opened it, scanned it briefly, realised it wasn't important and deleted it.

 

[BHAFC_Pandapops]

Predicament at work has escalated - gone from colleague being allowed more time off than their allocation to boss, his deputy, the team leader and this colleague all having time off at the same time. This went noticed by other department managers who sympathised that this wasn't on. So I asked boss and his deputy if was an issue with scheduling etc (in a non-inflamatory way) and got a smarmy email from deputy saying a meeting has been organised for tomorrow to discuss MY lack of ability to prioritise tasks and manage time, rather than their uncanny displeasure in staffing my workplace properly.

Looking forward to talking through my concerns with them but if that's the way they're responding to a reasonable enquiry is it even worth it?

 

[MF'84]

First day of my PhD today, and the bureaucratic bullshit and administrative ********ry defy belief. As many people on this thread will be familiar with, there are H&S inductions and fire safety training and equality/sustainability talks and risk assessment management courses. PLUS, before I set foot into the lab, I have to go through additional SOP training and supervised assessments and COSHH courses that I've done plenty of times before.

I want to introduce you to one example of the kind of paperwork I have to fill in before starting - I shit you not. Whoever came up with this form needs to be thrown into the deepest lake in outer Mongolia for his (her) sins. No doubt countless committee meetings were required beforehand to sign off on this.

Hey-ho, at least I'm getting paid for completing it.

DSE = "Digital Screen Equipment"

View attachment 78040
View attachment 78041

Yep, we get this form sent round every 12 months or so.

Once we even had some guy coming round to make sure we were sitting in our chairs properly - seriously. In knowing of the impending visit a severe case of slouching spread amongst the office and you know what, not a single issue was raised in how the staff sat at their desks rendering the thing a complete waste of time anyway (surprise, surprise).

 

[Cian]

Similar to the curse of the 'read receipt' button. I had an email from someone this morning that started 'thank you for taking the time to read my earlier email......'

I didn't read it. I opened it, scanned it briefly, realised it wasn't important and deleted it.

I've had a "I'm very displeased with the lack of respect you showed in not responding to my email" snark, BCCed to a boss (by someone who forgot I was the Exchange admin) from that before.

They were disabled company wide that day, nothing to do with me, honest...

 

[Whitechapel]

I nearly posted a massive rant the other day about my new section leader at work and refrained from posting it due to it giving away exactly who I was to anybody who works at the same company. However since then I've found out that my new boss has said that they'd rather there was no English people working in our department as we're all lazy and don't work as hard as "their people".

She got a verbal warning for it and nothing else.

I'm literally lost for words.

 

[bhanutz]

I nearly posted a massive rant the other day about my new section leader at work and refrained from posting it due to it giving away exactly who I was to anybody who works at the same company. However since then I've found out that my new boss has said that they'd rather there was no English people working in our department as we're all lazy and don't work as hard as "their people".

She got a verbal warning for it and nothing else.

I'm literally lost for words.

Punch her!

 

[blue'n'white]

First day of my PhD today, and the bureaucratic bullshit and administrative ********ry defy belief. As many people on this thread will be familiar with, there are H&S inductions and fire safety training and equality/sustainability talks and risk assessment management courses. PLUS, before I set foot into the lab, I have to go through additional SOP training and supervised assessments and COSHH courses that I've done plenty of times before.

I want to introduce you to one example of the kind of paperwork I have to fill in before starting - I shit you not. Whoever came up with this form needs to be thrown into the deepest lake in outer Mongolia for his (her) sins. No doubt countless committee meetings were required beforehand to sign off on this.

Hey-ho, at least I'm getting paid for completing it.

DSE = "Digital Screen Equipment"

Ah the fatuous DSE assessments - all so that someone can keep their job. I remember them well (with hatred) as we used to have to take an hour or two out of our working day to do this (and to do it properly as we were supervised in this !)
Slightly off topic I had a fan on my desk at work which was deemed "surplus to requirements" so it was taken away and destroyed in a fit of pique. Now considering that the Malaysian jungle was only slightly warmer than our office (and that's not really much of an exaggeration) a fan was a necessity even in the depths of winter. After arguing that I actually needed this so as to stop fainting HR decided that I didn't as I wasn't "entitled to one". So I went out and bought my own at about £30, placed it on my desk and enjoyed a relatively comfortable working environment for a couple of days until I went to lunch one day and, on my return to the office, found that my fan had not only been disconnected from the electricity but had had the plug cut off and all by the same jobsworth who'd destroyed the original fan. Luckily he was still in the office and even more luckily I had kept the receipt. It was also possibly lucky for the sake of my career that my manager wandered in to the office and stopped me attempting to ram the, by now useless. fan,up the offender's backside. And yes I did get the money back plus a letter of apology (and a new fan).

 

[Postman Pat]

Trying to be a 'hip and funky' development company, someone decided it would be a great idea to get a table tennis table put in the basement, this is been a fricking nightmare.

We have gone from a development company where people occasionally play table tennis, to a table tennis playing company who occasionally do some development. There are at least three different tournaments going on between the staff and people keep disappearing for matches at all times of the day. The head of IT has had a bat custom made for £100.....He then took the entire development team away for two hours for a 'meeting' which was actually 2 hours of table tennis......GRRRR!!!

 

[MF'84]

Has anybody come accross what I can only describe as an 'Ironic Bellcheese'? We have a guy that (he openly claims) is purposely spouting all the BC clichés and corporate training course guff because he knows it annoys people.

Now, this may be obvious to those of us in the know, but in doing this he has clearly morphed into a a category one Bellcheese... but if it's on purpose does that properly count or is this a new epidemic?

 

[dazzer6666]

Has anybody come accross what I can only describe as an 'Ironic Bellcheese'? We have a guy that (he openly claims) is purposely spouting all the BC clichés and corporate training course guff because he knows it annoys people.

Now, this may be obvious to those of us in the know, but in doing this he has clearly morphed into a a category one Bellcheese... but if it's on purpose does that properly count or is this a new epidemic?

David Brent wannabee........he's already 10 years out of date, must be a double bellcheese.

 

[dazzer6666]

Ah the fatuous DSE assessments - all so that someone can keep their job. I remember them well (with hatred) as we used to have to take an hour or two out of our working day to do this (and to do it properly as we were supervised in this !)
Slightly off topic I had a fan on my desk at work which was deemed "surplus to requirements" so it was taken away and destroyed in a fit of pique. Now considering that the Malaysian jungle was only slightly warmer than our office (and that's not really much of an exaggeration) a fan was a necessity even in the depths of winter. After arguing that I actually needed this so as to stop fainting HR decided that I didn't as I wasn't "entitled to one". So I went out and bought my own at about £30, placed it on my desk and enjoyed a relatively comfortable working environment for a couple of days until I went to lunch one day and, on my return to the office, found that my fan had not only been disconnected from the electricity but had had the plug cut off and all by the same jobsworth who'd destroyed the original fan. Luckily he was still in the office and even more luckily I had kept the receipt. It was also possibly lucky for the sake of my career that my manager wandered in to the office and stopped me attempting to ram the, by now useless. fan,up the offender's backside. And yes I did get the money back plus a letter of apology (and a new fan).

Cutting the plug off deserves some kind of specially-minted 'bellcheese at work' medal. We should get [MENTION=6886]Bozza[/MENTION] to sponsor a few that we can hand out to deserving recipients.

...or would that be bellcheesery ?

 

[Springal]

Our London office is now in a shared office space, very nice very start up. Decent tenants around.

This week a bunch of 6 VERY enthusiastic recruitment agents moved in next door. The conversations are cringe, bullshit buzzword bingo!!