Advice Needed To Get Rid Of A Fat Cow's Attentions

[Bars Mar]

There's This Woman Who Works In Our Southampton Office And Over The Last 6 Months We've Been Flirting Over The Phone So Last Week I Asked Her Out For A Drink In Chichester As It's Halfway Between Us Two. I Was Really Up For It As I Was Hoping To Lose My Cherry.

Anyway She Turns Up For The Date And She's f***ing Huge. I Mean American Huge. There's No Way That My Little Love Pump Is Going Anywhere Near Her Sweaty Minge. I Don't Care That I'm 46 And Got Nads The Size Of A Space Hopper She Can f*** Right Off.

So How Do I Tell The Salad Dodger To Take A Waddle? And Before You Cocksuckers Say It I Don't Care How Wonderful Her Personality Is, Oh And Serious Answers Only From NSCers Schooled In The Ways Of Women So Butt Out Vulture.

f*** Sake's Because My Mother Now Wants To Meet Her. Women - Can't Live With Them, Can't Get The Non-Biffers To Chomp

 

[Gully]

...I am sure you will find a way to capitalise on the situation!

 

[otk]

I usually say, 'It's not you. I just need some time to get myself together....' and hope she gets bored, but it never works *sighs*

 

[Questions]

Sit tight and maybe you wont have to make a decision as she`ll make it for you because you`re hardly have impressed her will you you tosspot.

 

[severnside gull]

...I am sure you will find a way to capitalise on the situation!

Perfect Advice.















Irritating Innit

 

[Don Quixote]

Pull down your trousers and say give it to me... see what happens.

 

[otk]

If the worst comes to the worst, make sure you've got some talcum powder with you

 

[Goodfella]

just tell her a bars a day will only make her a fatter bitch

 

[otk]

....and two head sized paper bags

 

[SirDouglasLoft]

Wave some chocolate infront of her face, then throw it so she runs and gets it. Then run away, and never answer your phone to her again.

 

[jevs]

Give her one....it'll be the best sex you'll ever have

 

[otk]

Sit her down and say, 'I'll never get over you.......I'll have to walk round!...'

 

[SirDouglasLoft]

Give her one....it'll be the only sex you'll ever have

Edited it for you

 

[otk]

Give her one....it'll be the best sex you'll ever have

If she says, 'You've got a lovely organ...', come back with the retort, 'Yes, but it's not used to playing in a Cathedral!'

 

[Biscuit]

pics?

 

[otk]

If she asks if you're taking precautions, reply that you have your ankle tied to the end of the bed

 

[otk]

OK OK

I was 18, she was 23 and of Whole Lot of Rosie proportions

But did she f*ck!

 

[Gully]

....and two head sized paper bags

...good call, wouldn't want her to suffer if the first one fell off your head!!!

 

[otk]

...good call, wouldn't want her to suffer if the first one fell off your head!!!

You spotted my Achillies Heel!

Always playing the gentleman...

 

[Lush]

You're 46 and your MOTHER wants to meet her?