Happy St George's Day

[Dick Head]

George, a military leader under Dacian, "king of the Persians," inaugurates his seven years of torture by boldly coming forward to confess his belief in Christ, as Dacian is preparing to persecute Christians in the area. At Dacian's order, George is stretched out on the rack and ripped to shreds with flesh hooks, harnessed to machines that draw him apart, and then beaten, after which salt is poured into his wounds, which are rubbed with a haircloth. He is then pressed into a box pierced with nails, impaled on sharp stakes, plunged into boiling water, and has his head crushed by a hammer. All to no avail.

God comforts George in prison and informs him that he will die three deaths before entering Paradise. Dacian, confounded, summons the magician Athanasius who shows his mettle by splitting an ox in half and having each half return to life whole. Undaunted, George gulps down two portions of the magician's poison, at which point the magician confesses Christ and is summarily executed by the Persian ruler and George is returned to prison. The next day he is lacerated on a wheel of swords, cut into ten pieces, and thrown into a well that is sealed with a stone. God appears with the archangel Michael to resurrect the saint, at which point the officer in charge, Anatholius, is converted with nearly 1,100 soldiers and one woman, all of whom are immediately executed.

Dacian then redoubles his efforts: George is tied to an iron bed, molten lead is poured into his mouth and eyes after which sixty nails are driven into his skull, he is hung upside down over a fire with a stone tied around his neck, and he is shut into the revolving belly of a metal ox which is filled with swords and nails. Yet again at the end of the day the saint goes back to prison. To die his second death, George is sawed in two, boiled to bits, and just before he is buried, God, good to his word, resuscitates him after five days.

In addition to his own resilience, George's miracles include changing thrones into trees, reviving oxen, healing a sick boy, and resurrecting and baptizing men, women, and children who have been dead for centuries.

Despite fastening a glowing iron helmet to the prisoner's head, tearing and burning his body some more, and executing George a third time, Dacian fails to move the saint to sacrifice to Apollo and tries verbal persuasion instead. When George appears to consent, the delighted king invites him to the palace for the night during which the saint surreptitiously converts Dacian's wife Alexandra, who is later executed as a result. George in the meantime goes to the temple of Apollo, whose statue promptly leaves the temple and confesses his fraudulence. The saint stamps his foot, and the ground swallows up the false god. Exasperated, Dacian pronounces George's death sentence yet again. Before his [3rd] execution, though, George prays and intercedes for those who remember his name and feast day. Having survived seven years of torture and three deaths, he is finally decapitated and gratefully ascends to Heaven.

Seems legit.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

I thought this was a joke at first, but it isnt. He's serious. What a desperate prick he sounds.

 

[Worthingite]

I'm going to go out, cane 12 pints of the cheapest, fizziest lager, hoover up a bit of beak, go to a club, roast some bird in the loo's (filming it on my phone), get a kebab, punch someone, then enjoy a night in the cells.

Proud to be English.

 

[RexCathedra]

I'm going to go out, cane 12 pints of the cheapest, fizziest lager, hoover up a bit of beak, go to a club, roast some bird in the loo's (filming it on my phone), get a kebab, punch someone, then enjoy a night in the cells.

Proud to be English.

Sounds like St. Patrick's Day in Manhattan.

I love the things that bring us all together.

 

[TheJasperCo]

Spending it in the library writing my dissertation.

Groannnn, snap...

 

[Hamilton]

Wasn't going to do anything. It's just another Wednesday isn't it.

Never known St. George's day to ever be celebrated. It's just not something we English do. The Irish do it well and I enjoy joining in with them when they do so, and I like a good Haggis on Burns night. Scots and Irish seem to have a history of celebrating these days, which is fun.

Can't say I'll really be tucking into Yorkshire Pudding and downing pints of Bombadier. I'm not anti-celebrating our roots at all. Just can't get excited about something that is forced.

 

[Hamilton]

You just want to tw4t him don't you.

I noticed that the 'No' vote in Scotland was holding up nicely until he opened his gob at a rally at the Olympic Park in London. Dave, just shut up mate!

 

[Albumen]

Pathetic

 

[Prettyboyshaw]

Worthgite, are you a young British Muslim? Sounds like what most of them are up to in Bradford

 

[Soulman]

Putting down foreigners.

Quite amusing that many feel that celebrating England's Day in our own country, might upset others. Whilst they are quite happy and support the day.

Many are proud.

 

[Winker]

George, a military leader under Dacian, "king of the Persians," inaugurates his seven years of torture by boldly coming forward to confess his belief in Christ, as Dacian is preparing to persecute Christians in the area. At Dacian's order, George is stretched out on the rack and ripped to shreds with flesh hooks, harnessed to machines that draw him apart, and then beaten, after which salt is poured into his wounds, which are rubbed with a haircloth. He is then pressed into a box pierced with nails, impaled on sharp stakes, plunged into boiling water, and has his head crushed by a hammer. All to no avail.

God comforts George in prison and informs him that he will die three deaths before entering Paradise. Dacian, confounded, summons the magician Athanasius who shows his mettle by splitting an ox in half and having each half return to life whole. Undaunted, George gulps down two portions of the magician's poison, at which point the magician confesses Christ and is summarily executed by the Persian ruler and George is returned to prison. The next day he is lacerated on a wheel of swords, cut into ten pieces, and thrown into a well that is sealed with a stone. God appears with the archangel Michael to resurrect the saint, at which point the officer in charge, Anatholius, is converted with nearly 1,100 soldiers and one woman, all of whom are immediately executed.

Dacian then redoubles his efforts: George is tied to an iron bed, molten lead is poured into his mouth and eyes after which sixty nails are driven into his skull, he is hung upside down over a fire with a stone tied around his neck, and he is shut into the revolving belly of a metal ox which is filled with swords and nails. Yet again at the end of the day the saint goes back to prison. To die his second death, George is sawed in two, boiled to bits, and just before he is buried, God, good to his word, resuscitates him after five days.

In addition to his own resilience, George's miracles include changing thrones into trees, reviving oxen, healing a sick boy, and resurrecting and baptizing men, women, and children who have been dead for centuries.

Despite fastening a glowing iron helmet to the prisoner's head, tearing and burning his body some more, and executing George a third time, Dacian fails to move the saint to sacrifice to Apollo and tries verbal persuasion instead. When George appears to consent, the delighted king invites him to the palace for the night during which the saint surreptitiously converts Dacian's wife Alexandra, who is later executed as a result. George in the meantime goes to the temple of Apollo, whose statue promptly leaves the temple and confesses his fraudulence. The saint stamps his foot, and the ground swallows up the false god. Exasperated, Dacian pronounces George's death sentence yet again. Before his [3rd] execution, though, George prays and intercedes for those who remember his name and feast day. Having survived seven years of torture and three deaths, he is finally decapitated and gratefully ascends to Heaven.

We could use someone like that in our back four!

 

[Dandyman]

Wasn't going to do anything. It's just another Wednesday isn't it.

Never known St. George's day to ever be celebrated. It's just not something we English do. The Irish do it well and I enjoy joining in with them when they do so, and I like a good Haggis on Burns night. Scots and Irish seem to have a history of celebrating these days, which is fun.

Can't say I'll really be tucking into Yorkshire Pudding and downing pints of Bombadier. I'm not anti-celebrating our roots at all. Just can't get excited about something that is forced.

Scotland and England are still culturally Protestant so it's hard to see why we would celebrate Saint's days.

 

[mikeyjh]

Pathetic

I actually agree with his last couple of sentences. Unfortunately the build up was patronising hogwash from a complete ****.

For those of you talking about Ireland and Scotland and how they 'do it better', it's just nationalistic nonsense and 1 thing is brilliant about being English, we just get on with it....

 

[stripeyshark]

Way too many people out there are determined to find a reason not to celebrate it and to mock others for doing so. I for one am proud to be English and am greatful that we have been given a day to celebrate this. Happy St. George's Day everyone!

 

[The Modfather]

The only way to celebrate being English is to moan about the weather over a nice cup of tea.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Has St George's Day been dumbed down for the sake of upsetting others or just forgotten?

I had no idea it was today. The only tell tale sign was Union flags in the school dinner hall.

If we really wanted to celebrate the day, we'd orchestrate a day off on the exact day.

I don't feel the desire to celebrate anything. Christmas and Easter included. Just give me the day off to meet friends and family.

 

[Jbanged]

It's a big deal where I am. St Jordi day. Men give women a rose, women give men a book.
The Catalans seem to celebrate it more than the English.

 

[BadFish]

with that reasoning and the casual feeling about St Georges day in this country i would say England as a nation is strong and Ireland is a basket case.

happy St Georges day

I agree, you should experience Australia day over here.

Painful.

 

[BadFish]

Quite amusing that many feel that celebrating England's Day in our own country, might upset others. Whilst they are quite happy and support the day.

Many are proud.

I hoestly have no idea how you surmised this from the posts on this thread (or perhaps you are referencing something else).

Anyway Happy St Georges Day SM.

 

[mikeyjh]

I always feel making a fuss about patron saints is the sort of thing nations insecure about their national status go in for.

True