Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Englands brave lions bowed out of the 2006 World Cup at the quarter-final stage again in heartbreaking circumstances last night, when they were cruelly denied victory over the Ukraine by two tragic late own goals off veteren defender Rio Ferdinand. Having taken the lead in the 8th minute through a wonderful Michael Owen strike, England coach Sven Goran Eriksson then took full advantage of the new relaxed FIFA substitution rules, by immediatly taking off Gerrard, Scholes, Lampard, Wright-Phillips, Rooney, Heskey and Owen. They were replaced with Phil Neville, Southgate, Bridge, Terry, Upson, Woodgate and controversial late inclusion David Batty, to help bolster the defence. David Beckham remained on the pitch though, as the big screen in the stadium kept on picking him out for a close-up, therefore Sven was instructed by Becks to leave the captain and inspirational leader on the field so he could look at himself some more.
The fresh legs looked to have paid dividends as they busily set about constructing a 9 foot wall of breezeblocks across the 18 yard area, topped off with some barbed wire and some intimidating red "KEEP OUT" and "TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED" signs. A crows nest was also set up behind the wall, in which ace marksman Sol Campbell took up residence with a 9mm Gatling machine gun. The ploy looked to have worked, as each Ukranian attack floundered in front of the wall, with Campbell even picking off star striker Shevchenko just as he lined up a dangerous-looking free kick. Right on half time, England had a scare when flying winger Boshkov somehow managed to trick his way round the wall, but the danger was quickly averted when Ashley Cole set his dog on him.
Half time was spent with England hastily moving their wall to the other side of the field. For the remaining 43 minutes, England defended for their lives against the gifted Ukranians, and a precious semi-final place looked to be in the bag. But just as the England fans were getting ready to celebrate, disaster struck. A goal kick from the Ukraine cleared the wall, bounced once, and was sliced helplessly into his own net by a distraught Rio Ferdinand. Manfully holding out for extra time, Englands bad luck continued when in time added on, Rio momentarily forgot which way he was kicking, and promptly did it again.
Sven was clearly disappionted at the result. "Well, errrr, when you defend as well as we did for so long, errr, of course it is, errrr, difficult to take when they scored so late in the game. But, errrr, I am proud of the players. I feel they did all they could, and, errrr, just had some bad luck at the wrong time. But, errrr, we will learn from this, and I, errr, feel we did well as a team, and we will come back stronger, errrr."
The fresh legs looked to have paid dividends as they busily set about constructing a 9 foot wall of breezeblocks across the 18 yard area, topped off with some barbed wire and some intimidating red "KEEP OUT" and "TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED" signs. A crows nest was also set up behind the wall, in which ace marksman Sol Campbell took up residence with a 9mm Gatling machine gun. The ploy looked to have worked, as each Ukranian attack floundered in front of the wall, with Campbell even picking off star striker Shevchenko just as he lined up a dangerous-looking free kick. Right on half time, England had a scare when flying winger Boshkov somehow managed to trick his way round the wall, but the danger was quickly averted when Ashley Cole set his dog on him.
Half time was spent with England hastily moving their wall to the other side of the field. For the remaining 43 minutes, England defended for their lives against the gifted Ukranians, and a precious semi-final place looked to be in the bag. But just as the England fans were getting ready to celebrate, disaster struck. A goal kick from the Ukraine cleared the wall, bounced once, and was sliced helplessly into his own net by a distraught Rio Ferdinand. Manfully holding out for extra time, Englands bad luck continued when in time added on, Rio momentarily forgot which way he was kicking, and promptly did it again.
Sven was clearly disappionted at the result. "Well, errrr, when you defend as well as we did for so long, errr, of course it is, errrr, difficult to take when they scored so late in the game. But, errrr, I am proud of the players. I feel they did all they could, and, errrr, just had some bad luck at the wrong time. But, errrr, we will learn from this, and I, errr, feel we did well as a team, and we will come back stronger, errrr."
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and the...well the weather was so hot my players were struggling in the conditions....
