What a dreadful day

[Questions]

Ive just had one of the worst days I can remember.
I painted the floorboards in my dining room today, went out leaving the door open.
The dog got in and has run all around the house leaving paw prints everywhere on all the carpets. It was water based so eventually got it all off after much scrubbing.
Then I went to the garage to get something out and realised I had left a box of frozen squid in there because I was due to go fishing last week. Jesus I have never smelt anything like that in all my life. I have poured disinfectant everywhere and two bottles of Fabreeze but it hasn't,t even touched it.
Then when you think things cannot get any worse I just had to ring a customer up to apologise for sending a very very distasteful joke through to her. It was one that even I winced at when reading. I told her I was trying to delete it and inadvertently forwarded it to here. She is a very prim schoolteacher.

I feel quite sick at the moment.

 

[Originunknown]

What was the joke?

Was it related to the stench of fish?

 

[Questions]

What was the joke?

Was it related to the stench of fish?

No but it mentioned Tampaxs. Jesus Christ how could I have done that.
She said that she hadn't,t read her texts yet but it is going to be like Medusa isn,t it ?
She is bound to look.

 

[The Peanut Roaster]

Ive just had one of the worst days I can remember.
I painted the floorboards in my dining room today, went out leaving the door open.
The dog got in and has run all around the house leaving paw prints everywhere on all the carpets. It was water based so eventually got it all off after much scrubbing.
Then I went to the garage to get something out and realised I had left a box of frozen squid in there because I was due to go fishing last week. Jesus I have never smelt anything like that in all my life. I have poured disinfectant everywhere and two bottles of Fabreeze but it hasn't,t even touched it.
Then when you think things cannot get any worse I just had to ring a customer up to apologise for sending a very very distasteful joke through to her. It was one that even I winced at when reading. I told her I was trying to delete it and inadvertently forwarded it to here. She is a very prim schoolteacher.

I feel quite sick at the moment.

Water based is not a problem on carpets. BIG EDIT. Don't touch it until I come round!!!

I'll sort you and the Gully Girl midweek.

 

[vegster]

Still, tomorrow's another day !

 

[Questions]

Water based is not a problem on carpets.

I'll sort you and the Gully Girl midweek.

Carpets ok now but the smell of fish. And that's not a reference to J either.

 

[Questions]

Still, tomorrow's another day !

Yeah , going rock climbing tomorrow.

 

[Muzzy]

It could have been a lot worse than that!

 

[albionite]

Seems like you're in the dog house. Might just be best to blame it all on the dog.

 

[vegster]

Not so long ago, driving back from work along the A27 Eastbound, I got held up by total gridlock some 3 miles East of Arundel. I was desperate for a crap and I was suffering stomach cramps with the agony of it. There were no laybys and no way I could get off the road and I was faced with two stark choices.

Crap in my trousers and sit in it for god knows how long or see if I could coil it out in to my empty sandwich box and wipe me arse with my Times Now that, my friend, is a bad day !

 

[1066familyman]

It could have been a lot worse than that!

Quite. It could have been me.

 

[1066familyman]

Not so long ago, driving back from work along the A27 Eastbound, I got held up by total gridlock some 3 miles East of Arundel. I was desperate for a crap and I was suffering stomach cramps with the agony of it. There were no laybys and no way I could get off the road and I was faced with two stark choices.

Crap in my trousers and sit in it for god knows how long or see if I could coil it out in to my empty sandwich box and wipe me arse with my Times Now that, my friend, is a bad day !

Which option did you choose and how did things pan out ?

 

[vegster]

I managed to contain myself and made it back home without voiding one.. trouble is, by the time I got to the thunderbox I had gone " gastight " and as such, it took about 20 minutes of straining and gnashing before I produced.

 

[Questions]

I managed to contain myself and made it back home without voiding one.. trouble is, by the time I got to the thunderbox I had gone " gastight " and as such, it took about 20 minutes of straining and gnashing before I produced.

But you made it home...... Shit ending..... Pardon the pun.

 

[1066familyman]

Cop out.

I was anticipating the lunch box scenario in which you open up said lunch box the next morning to put your sandwiches in having forgotten to 'unpack' it from the eventful day before

 

[Questions]

Cop out.

I was anticipating the lunch box scenario in which you open up said lunch box the next morning to put your sandwiches in having forgotten to 'unpack' it from the eventful day before

Chorizo anyone ?

 

[vegster]

I await your turn to be facing my exact dilemma and the way you deal with it with interest.

 

[The Peanut Roaster]

Chorizo anyone ?

Sort of.

I do love a spicy Spanish sausage.

 

[1066familyman]

I once heard about a night soil man who accidentally dropped his coat into the tank half way through a hard nights work.
Before it could sink to the very bottom he rolled his sleeve up and put his arm in to retrieve it.
His mate was quite surprised at this and said: " Blimey Fred, it was only an old work coat, why didn't you just let it go ? ". To which Fred replied: " It's not the coat I'm bothered about, my sandwiches are in the pocket".

 

[1066familyman]

I await your turn to be facing my exact dilemma and the way you deal with it with interest.

I'd be tempted to put the hazards on, flip the bonnet and walk, tight cheeked, off into the woods to savour the moment and the cooling effect of some nice damp moss to clean up with afterwards.