There once was a man from Brighton...

[Wozza]

There once was a man from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight one"
She said, "Pardon my soul
But you're in the wrong hole
There's plenty of room in the right one."

Can you do better?

 

[kevinsmith]

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

There was a young man from Essex
Who pestered his wife for more sex
She said "your nobs to small
go make a phone call
And bring Me a man from Sussex"

 

[Bwian]

There was a young lady from Hove
Whose pussy resembled a cove
Inside her vagina
Was a small cruise liner
With the crew singing songs 'round a stove

 

[Hunting 784561]

There was a young lady from Devizes
Whose breasts were two different sizes
One was so small, you couldnt see it at all
The other so big, it won prizes

 

[Knightsworld]

There was a young lad from Croydon
So we just took the piss out of him

 

[Ezekiel Rowe]

There was a bloke called Dave,
Who dug up a whore from a grave,
She was rotting like shit,
Had only one tit,
But think of the money he Saved.

 

[SussexSpur]

There once was a village campaign,
Who began to crack open champagne,
'Til they realised they'd lose
Because Prescott would choose
The one site we could reach on a train.

 

[SussexSpur]

There once was manager in Reading
Who didn't have any bedding
He was robbed one night
But they both saw the light
And the poem ended with a gay wedding

 

[clapham_gull]

There once was an MP called John,
Who said sorry you've waited so long...
But I'm told the inspector,
The Farmer and Rector
To bog off you NIMBYS you're wrong

 

[The Great Cornholio]

There once was a man called Dave Lee,
Who was plumbing his wife by the sea.
She said stop your plumbing,
There's somebody coming.
I know, says the Legend, it's me!

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

Little Jack Horner sat in the corner.......................

Because he f***ing stunk

 

[Seagulltonian]

There once was an MP called John,
Who said sorry you've waited so long...
But I'm told the inspector,
The Farmer and Rector
To bog off you NIMBYS you're wrong

 

[pompeydel]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some poems rhyme
But this one doesn't

 

[Hiney]

There was a young man from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
blades of grass
grew round his arse
and his balls were covered in weeds

boom boom

 

[clapham_gull]

There once was a village campaign,
Who began to crack open champagne,
'Til they realised they'd lose
Because Prescott would choose
The one site we could reach on a train.

GENIUS

 

[REDLAND]

Thats true class !!

 

[shingle]

There was a young woman from uttoxeter
and all the young men waved their cocks at her
from one of these cocks
she contracted the pox
and poxed all the cocks in Uttoxeter

 

[Gazwag]

A bunch on old nimbys at falmer
said "you can't let those yobs have a ground here"
But JP was fair
And said "I don't care"
"Its the only site in Brighton, so there"

 

[teaboy]

There once was a girl from Peru
who had nothing better to do
than to sit on some stairs
and count her c*nt hairs -
five thousand three hundred and two