Stupidest person you've worked with

[¡Cereal Killer!]

We once had a kitchen porter who was a bit on the simple side. One day we had a delivery of blue roll paper (big packs of 6) and we told him that they have to be rotated for freshness, no questions asked, he proceeded to remove the old blue rolls to put new ones at the bottom.

 

[bennibenj]

Once worked with a girl who we educate with geography. She went for months thinking The Ivory Coast was in Wales and Mozambique just north of Watford. She also stapled her hand as she wondered what it would feel like.

 

[Return of the Rev]

Two guys where i worked in croydon had a fight outside the building,one had a screwdriver to fight with The argument was on whether dinosaurs really exsisted i kid you not.

 

[TheMajor]

I used to know a guy that came on a football forum insisting that Winifred Zaha was worth more than the entire Brighton squad !

I kid you not.

 

[Gullys Cats]

Inspired by Brovion's post below, who is the thickest person you've had the misfortune to share an office with?

Years ago at work, we were having a Spanish promotion (sponsored by San Miguel lager) and asked this girl in marketing to approach some travel companies for offers we could use for competitions to win holidays in Spain. Deadline was approaching, and we were getting worried she hadn't come up with anything.

She finally delivers - and walks up to my desk all smiles - 'I've managed to get two amazing offers for you - A weekend in Rome and a tour of the Bay of Naples...'



Block Names at the Amex (upper ones)..

Work with a fella called Stuart, nicknamed trigger, also one of the nicest blokes on the firm.

 

[Seagull on the wing]

We had an university student studying engineering who came out to our oil rig for work experience....the crane was lowered with a rope cage to lift him aboard.....he put his life jacket on inside out!!

 

[ferris_ferrit]

When I worked at a well known frozen food shop I was told to mop the freezer room floor. Young, new and desperate to impress I promptly picked up the mop and went into the freezer to do the best damn mopping of a freezer floor ever. It was at this point that the massive industrial freezer door was slammed shut and the lights turned off

I don't need to work with stupid people, I am the stupid people I work with.

 

[Phat Baz 68]

When i used to work full time in A&E I had a young student Nurse assigned to hang out with me for a month,
so one afternoon i told her to bring things to work like her own stitches and glue, bandages etc etc as "we were short on supplies"
She rang me up that night really worried that no one would sell her a rib spreader as it "wasn't something sold to the general public" etc etc ha ha ha ha
Yes i got in trouble with the clinical Nurse Manager !!!

 

[danish seagull]

Having worked in removals for most of my life I have met some right thick people. I can't remember the name of this fella who was completely brainless but he was asked to post our letters in the postbox on the yard and off he went. We found them the next morning, posted through our OWN letterbox.

He didn't last long.

 

[Hatman1234]

This guy I work with comes out with some crackers all the time.

Last week he asked "How far is 1 mile"...

 

[el punal]

Not really to do with work but still in the stupidity stakes : I was at home when the phone rang, it was a local pizza delivery firm. The conversation went like this:

Pizza person "We've lost your order, can you tell us what toppings you want."

Me "I never ordered any pizzas."

Pizza person " Is that 556613 ?"

Me "No, this is 556612."

Pizza person "Oh. - Could you go next door and ask what toppings they would like."

Aaargh!!!

 

[Peever]

At the restaurant I manage we have a basic lasagna that is just noodle, meat sauce and cheese. Had a server who has worked for us for about a year punch one in "No Mushrooms", I looked at her and said why would you punch the order in like that? TO which she said.."Well how am I supposed to know it does not have mushrooms?".....Ummm because your a server and its your job?

 

[FamilyGuy]

I worked with a girl who couldn't understand that even allowing for the time difference that the 3rd of the month (for example) was always on the same day of the week, no matter what time zone you were in.

I also worked with a guy who ordered a bottle of Chateaubriand in a restaurant

 

[crabface]

I worked with someone who thought the Sun and the Moon where the same thing.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

My Dad employed a temp for a short while back in the 80's when a fax was exciting new technology.

It took three days before they realised why the faxes they had been asking her to type up and fax off, had not been arriving properly;

She'd been typing them perfectly, getting them signed, then folding them neatly, into envelopes, writing the fax number on, and feeding the envelope through the machine. True story!

 

[JamesAndTheGiantHead]

I asked a bloke at work who he thought would win the Euros this year and he took a wild punt with 'Brazil'.

 

[Manx Shearwater]

I once worked with a bloke who did all the wiring and fancy telecoms stuff for the office we worked in. One day he was round the back of a comms cabinet when there was a loud bang, all the lights dimmed and a small pall of smoke emerged from the back of a cabinet he was working on. He emerged looking like Al Jolson and holding a pair of wire cutters with a big hole in the blades.

"What the feck....."

"Hmmm" he says "that wiring has been incorrectly labelled"

"You need to see someone about that, that could've done you some serious damage. If I were you I'd find out who labelled it and report them to HR or give them a good shoeing."

"I know who wired it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I did."

The very same bloke came into work one day and announced he'd come on public transport as his car had been destroyed in a fire. WHen asked to recount the tale, he told us that his lawnmower had run out of petrol at the weekend so he'd gone to the garage, didn't have a jerry can, and had taken a bucket. Driving very gingerly home, he swerved to avoid some animal, and suspecting he might have spilled the petrol, got out, went to the boot and had a look.

It was this point he remembered that he was smoking a pipe.

 

[daveinprague]

When in the RN, there was a guy in training on the firing range whose Browning .45 jammed whilst he was firing it... he pulled the trigger another two times to hear it click and not fire, before turning it towards his face and trying it again...The gunnery instructor pulled it out of his hand, did something and fired 3 shots into the ground, and the bloke fainted.

He was then posted to the same ship as me, where he was a seaman in charge of the tannoy, and meeting and greeting visitors to the ship...
His first winner was a tannoy announcement 'The NAAFI will open at 11:00 hours and will remain open until it closes'

His second was sending an American LtCmdr to the Chinese laundry when the American asked to see the 'No1'

 

[albion534]

We have a kitchen porter here who has smoked far too much weed in his time

Anyway, we were reversing our fridge van down, and he never opened the doors properly, so I reversed into the wall, damaging the door, i asked him to run upstairs into the changing room and locate the spare van door, 5 mins later he said he couldn't see it