Simple solution to aircraft terrorism

[Mr C]

After reading about the trial of those chumps planning to blow up transatlantic flights, here is a simple solution...

People will only be allowed to travel on a plane naked, and with no luggage whatsoever. You would have to have a cavity search and x-ray beforehand to make sure you'd not swallowed or hidden anything.

Sound like a plan?

 

[Barrel of Fun]

http://www.naked-air.com/ - NSFW

They have never had a terrorist scare.

 

[Everest]

And I presume you're offering your services to search the females?

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Alternately, carry a bomb onto the plane yourself. The odds against two bombs being on a plane are absolutely ASTRONOMICAL

 

[csider]

Or just do not let on certain groups of people.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Or just do not let on certain groups of people.

Terrorists?

 

[csider]

Thats the one......I was waiting for someone to jump on the 'racist' tone, what a troublemaker I am !

 

[Giraffe]

Muslim only flights (preferably flying from T5) and

Non Muslim only flights.

Job done, awaits PC people to jump on this post...

 

[Napper]

Muslim only flights (preferably flying from T5) and

Non Muslim only flights.

Job done, awaits PC people to jump on this post...

that would do it

 

[Barrel of Fun]

So if Sussex decided to fly to Durham, would Mushy have to take a muslim-only flight?

 

[csider]

So if Sussex decided to fly to Durham, would Mushy have to take a muslim-only flight?

Could hire a Robinson 22 Helicopter.........2 seater, fro Shoreham. I could arrange a good rate with Fast Helicopters, if they want to take him that is.

 

[clapham_gull]

So if Sussex decided to fly to Durham, would Mushy have to take a muslim-only flight?

See how the right wing have pulled you into their PC web.

Surely you saw it coming ? You fool.

 

[Giraffe]

So if Sussex decided to fly to Durham, would Mushy have to take a muslim-only flight?

I would happily give him a lift in my car. Or should I say take him for a spin.

 

[johnny jigsaw]

Alternately, carry a bomb onto the plane yourself. The odds against two bombs being on a plane are absolutely ASTRONOMICAL

I have a solution in a similar vein.

Fit ALL aircraft with a bomb, and occasionally blow one up at random.

The novelty would soon wear off.

 

[Giraffe]

See how the right wing have pulled you into their PC web.

.

Big problem, simple solution. Why does the world need to over complicate things. Does that make me right wing?

 

[Giraffe]

I have a solution in a similar vein.

Fit ALL aircraft with a bomb, and occasionally blow one up at random.

The novelty would soon wear off.

Thats a top idea, can we make sure this randomly happens over Croydon quite a lot?

 

[johnny jigsaw]

Thats a top idea, can we make sure this randomly happens over Croydon quite a lot?

I know it's a top idea. What would also happen, is that the terrorist would declare himself mid-flight and demand to speak to the captain, saying "I claim this flight in the name of Islam (or She-Ra, or whatever)" and the captain could say, "well actually, old thing, I've already fitted a bomb and it's under the name of Buddha (or Hari Krishna, or whatever), and I'm going to blow it up and you'll be part of MY glorious sacrifice etc. etc. etc.", which would kind of spoil it all for the terrorist and they'd have to stick to blowing themselves up somewhere nice and quiet so that they didn't get trumped and not go onto whatever heavenly paradise was waiting for them.

 

[Giraffe]

I know it's a top idea. What would also happen, is that the terrorist would declare himself mid-flight and demand to speak to the captain, saying "I claim this flight in the name of Islam (or She-Ra, or whatever)" and the captain could say, "well actually, old thing, I've already fitted a bomb and it's under the name of Buddha (or Hari Krishna, or whatever), and I'm going to blow it up and you'll be part of MY glorious sacrifice etc. etc. etc.", which would kind of spoil it all for the terrorist and they'd have to stick to blowing themselves up somewhere nice and quiet so that they didn't get trumped and not go onto whatever heavenly paradise was waiting for them.

Unlike the average terrorist after a good days work, I think this one could have legs.

 

[cannedheat]

What about the nutters who are happy to shuv a bomb right up there jacksy, do you want to do the internal, mind you Guardian reading Brighton fans who live in London will be more than happy to work it out.

 

[Eggmundo]

Trial run every flight. say " Ok we haven't got a Pilot, do you mine flying today?" then 'secretly' put them in a flight simulator and wait to see if once in the air they point the plane towards the nearest building and start shouting things in a funny language. Do this with every passenger before boarding and hopefully the flight should conclude event free.

Or ask them if they have any martydom tendencies, make them swear on their mums life and everything. no fingers crossed.