Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Oh christ, its made the Nationals...this is in The Express.
Coca-Cola Championship team Brighton and Hove Albion were plunged into turmoil last night after details emerged about a cash scandal which has rocked the club to it's foundations.
On Monday, Brighton chairman Dick Knight (pictured left) launched an appeal for every fan to make a donation of £100 to help the club in it's prolongued fight for a new stadium. However, it was revealed yesterday that in fact, the cash is to be used to perform a SEX CHANGE operation on the clubs 44 year old Chief Executive Martin Perry. The details came out after a print of an email was leaked by an anonymous club insider. The email was sent to Dick Knight by Martin Perry, who refers as himself as "Martina", and said:
Dicky,
Just a quick note to thank you so much for going ahead with the fans appeal. You've disguised the whole plan brilliantly, no-one will ever suspect where the cash is really going. Thanks to you, I'll be fondling my very own voluptuous breasts by the turn of the year. I've seen the way Darren Currie has been looking at me since the summer, and once I've transformed myself for him I just know we'll finally be together. Oh those thighs !
Anyway I'm booked in for a bikini-wax this afternoon so I might be slightly late for the board meeting. If I am, just start without me.
Ciao,
Martina
Winger Darren Currie, mentioned by Perry in the email, signed for Brighton during the summer from Wycombe Wanderers. When we caught up with him after training he said: "Lets get this straight. My relationship with Martin Perry is purely on a professional level. We met at a hotel where we discussed my contract with Brighton, but the discussions took place in the lobby and at no point did we retire to my hotel room. If anyone saw Martin touch my hair, it was only because I had some paint in it as I'd been putting the first coat of paint on my model WWII Lancaster bomber that afternoon. Martin may also have briefly felt my knee, but this was just to check that my old injury had cleared up". Heartbreakingly for Perry, he then added: "I've been hurt before, and I'm just not ready for a relationship right now. Thats all I have to say on the matter."
Disgusted fans were gathering outside the clubs offices in the centre of Brighton last night. One lifelong fan who wished only to be known as "FG" said: "I wrote a cheque out for £100 and posted it the other day, now I'm here to get it back" he pouted, and went on: "I think it's criminal what the club have done. I had to save up for six years to have my gender issues surgically resolved, so why should I be expected pay for his ? Perry would just look like mutton dressed as lamb anyway, the cow." FG flounced off and sadly broke a heel.
Nobody at the club was prepared to comment on the scandal, other than to say that a statement on the matter would be released in due course.
Coca-Cola Championship team Brighton and Hove Albion were plunged into turmoil last night after details emerged about a cash scandal which has rocked the club to it's foundations.
On Monday, Brighton chairman Dick Knight (pictured left) launched an appeal for every fan to make a donation of £100 to help the club in it's prolongued fight for a new stadium. However, it was revealed yesterday that in fact, the cash is to be used to perform a SEX CHANGE operation on the clubs 44 year old Chief Executive Martin Perry. The details came out after a print of an email was leaked by an anonymous club insider. The email was sent to Dick Knight by Martin Perry, who refers as himself as "Martina", and said:
Dicky,
Just a quick note to thank you so much for going ahead with the fans appeal. You've disguised the whole plan brilliantly, no-one will ever suspect where the cash is really going. Thanks to you, I'll be fondling my very own voluptuous breasts by the turn of the year. I've seen the way Darren Currie has been looking at me since the summer, and once I've transformed myself for him I just know we'll finally be together. Oh those thighs !
Anyway I'm booked in for a bikini-wax this afternoon so I might be slightly late for the board meeting. If I am, just start without me.
Ciao,
Martina
Winger Darren Currie, mentioned by Perry in the email, signed for Brighton during the summer from Wycombe Wanderers. When we caught up with him after training he said: "Lets get this straight. My relationship with Martin Perry is purely on a professional level. We met at a hotel where we discussed my contract with Brighton, but the discussions took place in the lobby and at no point did we retire to my hotel room. If anyone saw Martin touch my hair, it was only because I had some paint in it as I'd been putting the first coat of paint on my model WWII Lancaster bomber that afternoon. Martin may also have briefly felt my knee, but this was just to check that my old injury had cleared up". Heartbreakingly for Perry, he then added: "I've been hurt before, and I'm just not ready for a relationship right now. Thats all I have to say on the matter."
Disgusted fans were gathering outside the clubs offices in the centre of Brighton last night. One lifelong fan who wished only to be known as "FG" said: "I wrote a cheque out for £100 and posted it the other day, now I'm here to get it back" he pouted, and went on: "I think it's criminal what the club have done. I had to save up for six years to have my gender issues surgically resolved, so why should I be expected pay for his ? Perry would just look like mutton dressed as lamb anyway, the cow." FG flounced off and sadly broke a heel.
Nobody at the club was prepared to comment on the scandal, other than to say that a statement on the matter would be released in due course.
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THE Genius is BACK 
EASY 10 - COMEDY GENIUS!
