[Football] Referee James Adcock

[Cowfold Seagull]

I was told of another Premier league ref who decided not to come out.
I wonder if this will change his mind?
( unless I was fed a load of bullshit)

So the absolute shyster bats for the other side, who would have thunk it?

Seriously though, a referee's sexual preferences matter not one jot to me. All l'm concerned about is his ability to control a game of football on a Saturday afternoon, nothing else. A good referee should be absolutely anonymous.

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

Personally I couldn’t care less about his sexuality, but other people do so all credit to him.

 

[Nobby Cybergoat]

I'm about as interested in who a ref fancies as I am in whether he prefers corn flakes or rice krispies in the morning

Get the decisions right (ie give us a couple of penalties v palace) and that's all i'll judge him on

 

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

Anyone else from the Littlehampton area remember Norman Redman who reffed games back in the early 80's .
Openly gay but no one minded.

Sent from my CPH2195 using Tapatalk

I remember Norman - good ref and also a really nice bloke. He took a lot of games in the West Sussex League.

One thing that does come to mind was he reffed a game I played in as a keeper. I saved a penalty and then saved the rebound with my face - blood everywhere. Norman as you would expect, came to check if I was okay.

It was when AIDS was getting a lot of press but there was a lot of mis-information about. One not so bright teammate made a comment after the game about AIDS being spread by blood and that I should be careful with Norman around. We had to point out that it was my blood being spread around and not Norman's and eventually the penny dropped with my team mate.

 

[Badger Boy]

This is very important in normalising openly gay men in football. There are lots of them, but we know of none of them. Every man who comes out as gay makes it easier for the next, and the next, and the next. I honestly feel like the first man to come out will open the floodgates and it will stop even being something worth commenting on. I think the overwhelming majority of people wouldn't care less about a player's sexuality. There would be the tired old "jokes", but that's it.

 

[dadams2k11]

I had my eldest Daughter, who has lived with me for the past 18 months, come out to me 3 months ago as bisexual, aged 17, she was very reluctant to tell her mum as she heard her mum being very homophobic when she was 12.

She told her mum 2 days ago and it went down like a lead balloon. "Bisexuals are greedy" was the reply she got from her own mum. My response, best of both worlds.

I had a clue anyway, every time we were in the car and there was an attractive lady, we would both have a gander.

They have not spoken since and I can't believe in this day and age that anyone, especially a parent, can have this view.

Why can't people live their life's and let others live theirs?

 

[nickbrighton]

I had my eldest Daughter, who has lived with me for the past 18 months, come out to me 3 months ago as bisexual, aged 17, she was very reluctant to tell her mum as she heard her mum being very homophobic when she was 12.

She told her mum 2 days ago and it went down like a lead balloon. "Bisexuals are greedy" was the reply she got from her own mum. My response, best of both worlds.

I had a clue anyway, every time we were in the car and there was an attractive lady, we would both have a gander.

They have not spoken since and I can't believe in this day and age that anyone, especially a parent, can have this view.

Why can't people live their life's and let others live theirs?

That is so sad, but unfortunately it is still quite common. For all the advances that have been made, there is still so far to go.
One of the hardest things I had to do was tell family, and its not something you do once, you have to do it time and again, each time hoping for a response like yours, and fearing a response like your wife's (ex?)

The comment about your daughter hearing something said at age 12, and having that on her mind ever since rings especially true for me, my brother said something about a friend of his years before I came out, when i was about 14, I never forgot, and it was a big factor in me hiding for so long.

Its why all the "only banter" brigade are so very wrong, words stick, and young LGBT people hear and understand from a far younger age than most realise (I knew around 7 or 8) and they learn that they have to keep hidden, and the damage done is real and long lasting

The more high profile people who come out, do indeed make it easier for everyone, but each lurid headline, hate tweet, and all the rest just drive people to hide and suffer in silence

 

[Badger Boy]

I had my eldest Daughter, who has lived with me for the past 18 months, come out to me 3 months ago as bisexual, aged 17, she was very reluctant to tell her mum as she heard her mum being very homophobic when she was 12.

She told her mum 2 days ago and it went down like a lead balloon. "Bisexuals are greedy" was the reply she got from her own mum. My response, best of both worlds.

I had a clue anyway, every time we were in the car and there was an attractive lady, we would both have a gander.

They have not spoken since and I can't believe in this day and age that anyone, especially a parent, can have this view.

Why can't people live their life's and let others live theirs?

Maybe she needs a bit of time to get her head around it. So long as you're ensuring your daughter feels loved and supported, her mum will come around.

 

[dadams2k11]

That is so sad, but unfortunately it is still quite common. For all the advances that have been made, there is still so far to go.
One of the hardest things I had to do was tell family, and its not something you do once, you have to do it time and again, each time hoping for a response like yours, and fearing a response like your wife's (ex?)

The comment about your daughter hearing something said at age 12, and having that on her mind ever since rings especially true for me, my brother said something about a friend of his years before I came out, when i was about 14, I never forgot, and it was a big factor in me hiding for so long.

Its why all the "only banter" brigade are so very wrong, words stick, and young LGBT people hear and understand from a far younger age than most realise (I knew around 7 or 8) and they learn that they have to keep hidden, and the damage done is real and long lasting

The more high profile people who come out, do indeed make it easier for everyone, but each lurid headline, hate tweet, and all the rest just drive people to hide and suffer in silence

She was just a Girlfriend who I had two kids with but never saw a future.

The bit about the banter brigade is so serious. My youngest son, 8 at the time, now 9, came home from school and started saying "that's gay" "he's gay", and I asked him if he actually knew what he was saying.

He didn't know what he was saying but after a bit of education and me reminding him that our two male friends, and our two female friends, who come around, are in fact gay.

He has not said the word in a "banter" way since, coincidentally, two weeks ago he was at school, in the toilet and 3 boys said that he was gay for having an ear ring. He told them they were being homophobic and the kids replied, "What's that?".

The matter is being dealt with at the school as very serious, which I am extremely happy with. There was no harm done to my son as he was educated as any responsible parent should be doing.

That leads on to the whole point of the change should start at home by the parents, so the future generations will hopefully not have to have put up with all this "banter".

 

[BluesRockDJ]

Do we need to know ?
PS Unfortunate surname !!

 

[Charlies Shinpad]

Friday, 10 February 2012

The first out gay football referee?

By Chris Park

If ever you were looking for a man who liked to be a little controversial, Norman Redman would fit the bill. He lived in Littlehampton and ran an ice cream stall on the local seafront (1) and was a part time gym instructor (2). He also was a Sussex and London Football Association referee, officiating for the local boy’s football league and at some adult matches (3).

In 1973 Redman wrote to Gay News explaining how his role as a professional referee was in no way affected by his homosexuality (4). He said he neither “hid” nor “advertised” his gayness: “It seems that the gay person is more accepted in the sports world than any other. My only complaint is that it can be so bloody frustrating in the changing rooms!”

Then in February 1976, under the clever headline “Pressing gaily on”, he was reported as making his 5th attempt at election to his local council, letting it be known that he was the founder of the Arun group of CHE, the Campaign for Homosexual Equality (5). Just over a week later, he is reported to have challenged the Saints (Southampton Football Club) to a match with a team of CHE members. It seems that the Saints were unable to rise to the challenge: it was refused - with no little contempt (6).

Things really started to get interesting when in July/August 1976 he gave an interview to Gay Times. From August into September that year he was hardly out of the news throughout the UK (7). In part this was because Len Mullineux, the manager of an under-14s team, the Wickbourne Lions, angrily refused to have Redman as referee and demanded that the League replace him. “Our boys will be called off the pitch. They just won’t play. We are prepared to forego the two points”, he declared.

Mr Jim Twitcher, chairman of the Bognor Regis and Chichester Minor League, rejected this request as Redman was a “perfectly good referee”.

However he did say, “as Mr Redman has admitted that he is gay, we would not allocate him to our 12-year-old matches. We [on the committee] are all parents. We all have sons.”

The next day, he was in the headlines again (8). On the advice of his solicitor, Redman demanded an apology from Len Mullineux for implying that he was a danger to young boys. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Mullineux was quoted as refusing to do so. Sadly, I could find no reports as to the outcome of this part of the story.

Two years later in the summer of 1978, Redman was in the headlines again (9). This time he was setting up the Gaystars XI, what seems to have been the first ever gay football team. Much was made, particularly by the Daily Express, of the fact that his first recruit was a team hairdresser. I should point out that the Kevin Keegan perm was a phenomenon in 1975. Slough’s Evening Mail was more concerned about what might happen when a goal was scored: “Won’t we be left wondering if all the ensuing kissing and hugging is for real?”

Redman gave his motives for setting up the team as “to boost public relations between CHE and the general public. We also think that by coming out into the open we may encourage other gay persons to ‘come out’.” He took the whole project seriously. He applied to the London and South-east Sports Council for a grant to buy kit, which would be all blue. He registered with the Sussex County FA, so that they would play with other affiliated teams. He wrote to Alan Mullery, then manager of Brighton and Hove Albion, for advice on coaching and approached Coventry City for permission to observe the team in training.

Sadly, according to an article from 1982, ‘serious gay sportsmen disliked the gimmicky show business image of Gay Stars [sic], and the club folded after a few months.” (10) This article was about another club claiming to be the world’s only gay football team. Disappointingly, the club was not named - at the request of the team’s manager, Graham Smith.

Redman”s next brush with fame was also in 1982 (11). He claimed to know of enough gay players in all four leagues to “field a team plus four substitutes”. He said: “They tend to be more skilful in manoeuvrability and make good attackers.” Manchester City’s manager, John Bond, is quoted as saying: “This doesn’t surprise me.” While Bobby Robson, then managing Ipswich town, soon to be England Manager, said: ‘I’m utterly staggered. Football isn’t conducive to them, and there is no place for them.”

The article also mentioned that it seemed Redman would be the sole representative of Britain at the first Gay Olympics, due to be held in San Francisco that summer.

Later that year, Redman was mentioned in a South African newspaper (12). He was working to launch a “national sports association exclusively for homosexuals”. He wanted it to “encourage homosexuals of both sexes to take part in indoor and outdoor sports against each other and against “straight” sportsmen and women”. Once again, I could find nothing about the outcome of his efforts.

In 1987, Redman found further notoriety when he came out as having AIDS (13). He is referred to as “bachelor Norman”. He was by now working as a council equal opportunities officer and had been a referee for 20 years. He had been diagnosed as HIV positive only 6 months previously, so did not in fact have AIDS at this point. He said in a later interview, “I’ve given up trying to explain the difference [between HIV and AIDS].”

The main concern for The Sun was his contact with boys. He had notified the FA of his diagnosis. They allowed him to continue, although Peter Bentley, chairman of Sussex County FA, said:

“Mr Redman is not a bad ref. But where young boys are concerned I think you have to worry.”

West Sussex FA claimed that he had “brought the game into disrepute”. Redman is reported as being so angry that he sent back his trophies (14). In 1988, Redman branded Westloats Club from Bognor Regis “uneducated idiots” as the players were afraid of catching AIDS (15). This caused further backlash against Redman from Sussex FA, who found him to have brought the game into disrepute. He tried sending the club some Terence Higgins Trust leaflets to help educate them and appealed the ruling to the National FA but got nowhere.

Redman seems to have led a quieter life after this, with no more national news headlines.

Sources:

Evening Argus, Littlehampton, 2 September 1976;*www.campaignforhomosexualequality.org.uk

The Guardian, 31 July 1978

Ibid.

http://www.brightonourstory.co.uk/newsletters/sussexglf.html

Brighton Evening Argus, 21 February 1976

Southern Evening Echo, Southampton, 3 March 1976; Sunday Mirror, 7 March 1976

Hartlepool Mail, Scarborough Evening News, Dublin Herald, Scottish Daily Express, the Daily Express, the Daily Mirror, 2 September 1976

Western Daily Press (Bristol), Bognor Regis Observer, East Anglia Daily Times (Ipswich), Kent Evening Post (Maidstone), The Journal (Newcastle-upon-Tyne), 3 September 1976

The Guardian, The Evening Standard, The Evening Mail (Slough), 31 July 1978; The Daily Express, 2 August 1978; The Sussex Express (Lewes), 4 August 1978

The Yorkshire Post (Leeds), 19 February 1982

The Daily Mirror, 5 April 1982

The name is unclear, it may be the Port Elizabeth Evening Post, 15 September 1982

The Sun, 27 February 1987

The Daily Mirror, 18 September 1987

Time Out, 15 June 1988



Sent from my CPH2195 using Tapatalk

 

[nickbrighton]

She was just a Girlfriend who I had two kids with but never saw a future.

The bit about the banter brigade is so serious. My youngest son, 8 at the time, now 9, came home from school and started saying "that's gay" "he's gay", and I asked him if he actually knew what he was saying.

He didn't know what he was saying but after a bit of education and me reminding him that our two male friends, and our two female friends, who come around, are in fact gay.

He has not said the word in a "banter" way since, coincidentally, two weeks ago he was at school, in the toilet and 3 boys said that he was gay for having an ear ring. He told them they were being homophobic and the kids replied, "What's that?".

The matter is being dealt with at the school as very serious, which I am extremely happy with. There was no harm done to my son as he was educated as any responsible parent should be doing.

That leads on to the whole point of the change should start at home by the parents, so the future generations will hopefully not have to have put up with all this "banter".

i can only applaud you for how you have educated your son. If all parents did this, there actually wouldn't be an issue. Homophobia, like racism, sexism and all the rest is learned behaviour, and its mostly learned from parents who either do not correct and explain these behaviours in others, or worse still, actively espouse them themselves

 

[Eeyore]

Do we need to know ?
PS Unfortunate surname !!

Not really, and he's never hidden it anyway. But it's good to hear him talk about it as it's an interesting subject.

'Do we need to know is ?' is often a substituted response for 'We don't want to hear about this as it doesn't sit well'. Best not fall into that trap as others may miss-judge you.