Brighton and Hove Albion issued a press statement this afternoon regarding the potential signing of former Sheffield Washday striker Lloyd Owusu.
Chief Executive Martin 'Austin Powers' Perry told the Stock Exchange: "I can categorically deny that there is any news regarding the club signing Lloyd Owusu. Even if there was we wouldn't put it on the official website until at least June 2004."
Chairman Dick Knight added: "Piss off, you'll need a blowtorch to get my wallet open, won't Leon Knight do?"
Owusu, resting at his family home following the ordeal of playing for a tinpot outfit like Washday, was unavailable for comment. A quick root through his dustbin revealed the empty packet of a kingsize bar of mint flavour Dairy Milk, which looked well tasty.
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