GoldWithFalmer
Seaweed! Seaweed!
I am about to restore NSC to it's normal good old self and i am not talking football now.
I need you odd habits.
I will start.........
I have just been for my good morning dump,a few hours late i must admit as i normally go as soon as i go up each day,anyway i have always been the type to when having a number 2 place large amounts of toilet paper in the bog pan before i embark on going.
Why do i do this i hear you ask? well those in the know will agree it helps with "splashback" i like to call it a splash back arrestor.
Years ago i did this at a friends house whilst i stayed one night,problem was i went for a number 2 at a time when i really should have been asleep,let's say about 3am for arguments sake,anyway having gone at such a time and not wishing to wake anybody up i failed to pull the chain for some reason.
All was normal & cordial in the morning with the exception of one thing,where is my normal daily dump i asked myself? oh well i thought doc says 3 to 4 times a week could be classed as normal so hey ho,no worries.
Had breakfast (still no movement) and carried on getting ready to go home.
Now if your like me when you have a number 2 then you would like to use a lot of toilet roll,health hygiene & cleanliness and all,and that's good right? i think so.
Went home and thought nothing more of it.
A few hours withing gettin indoors i receive a phone call from an irate friend.
Blimey sounds a bit wound up,what's wrong i thought?
What's wrong? well lets just say my friend had to use several bin liners wrapped around his arm
(black sacks) and about half a hour (some exaggeration there me thinks) in trying to clear his loo,from my mess
Really i thought to myself? this coming from the person that made me clean up all his and his lazy birds washing up (ok they prostituted me into doing it for £10 or £15) (times were hard you understand) once and there was so much washing up that even fruit bowls were used for eating out of,i had to put it all in the bath as the kitchen sink could not handle it...
I need you odd habits.
I will start.........
I have just been for my good morning dump,a few hours late i must admit as i normally go as soon as i go up each day,anyway i have always been the type to when having a number 2 place large amounts of toilet paper in the bog pan before i embark on going.
Why do i do this i hear you ask? well those in the know will agree it helps with "splashback" i like to call it a splash back arrestor.
Years ago i did this at a friends house whilst i stayed one night,problem was i went for a number 2 at a time when i really should have been asleep,let's say about 3am for arguments sake,anyway having gone at such a time and not wishing to wake anybody up i failed to pull the chain for some reason.
All was normal & cordial in the morning with the exception of one thing,where is my normal daily dump i asked myself? oh well i thought doc says 3 to 4 times a week could be classed as normal so hey ho,no worries.
Had breakfast (still no movement) and carried on getting ready to go home.
Now if your like me when you have a number 2 then you would like to use a lot of toilet roll,health hygiene & cleanliness and all,and that's good right? i think so.
Went home and thought nothing more of it.
A few hours withing gettin indoors i receive a phone call from an irate friend.
Blimey sounds a bit wound up,what's wrong i thought?
What's wrong? well lets just say my friend had to use several bin liners wrapped around his arm
(black sacks) and about half a hour (some exaggeration there me thinks) in trying to clear his loo,from my mess Really i thought to myself? this coming from the person that made me clean up all his and his lazy birds washing up (ok they prostituted me into doing it for £10 or £15) (times were hard you understand) once and there was so much washing up that even fruit bowls were used for eating out of,i had to put it all in the bath as the kitchen sink could not handle it...
or people really are down in the dumps 
