this jenny's chippy i visited tonight, bloody 'ell did it let me down or did it let me down?
i strolled into this establishment with the highest of hopes after rave reviews from chappers (a very highly respected food critic in my eyes) and dazo, among others. the first thing i see is a white boy behind the counter *that's not on, i thought to myself* not an asian in sight.. and not only was he a white boy, but he had acne and looked like he came from croydon.. this upset me, understandably, but i decided to soldier on for the greater good.
i browsed the menu, if you can call it a menu, and by jove it was brief. about ten things on the list at most and to be honest that wasn't the first thing i'd noticed. the prices alongside this shambles of a menu were, to be frank, utterly staggering. i'll give you an example, curry sauce, 1 of your Queen's English.
i thought to myself as i was trying to choose, *chappers et al recommended it, it won't let me down, be brave barney* (by this point, i was finding it hard to keep my two pals calm, who were in a state of panic) i stepped up to the counter and asked for a pie. the chav informed me that they only had a chicken and mushroom pie left, and let's be honest now nsc, i wanted a steak pie. i said ok, make it a savaloy, battered sausage and small chips, with curry sauce. i asked for a water, but to no avail, the only drink on sale was a diet coke. outrageous.
he totted up the bill and i nearly had a stroke. £5.20 for small chips, savaloy, small battered sossie, curry sauce and a can of diet ruddy coke. i was not happy.
my pal was not having any of this and chose to boycott "jenny". we then drove to our local, "fish and chips" on dyke road. he ordered large chips, a cheese burger, battered sos and curry sauce. his meal (substantially greater in quantity) came to £3.90. i was gutted.
as some of you will know, this chippy is opposite the tesco express. not feeling too optimistic by this point i trotted in and bought a pint of milk and a cookie in case it all went pete tong.
we found a suitable eating space and tucked in. my chips were tasty, but limited. my battered sos was chewy and undercooked (don't even start, conboy). my curry sauce was disgusting to the point that i disposed of it after two dips. the coke was tasteless (and from a multipack, so therefore illegal). last but not least, the savaloy. i genuinely would rather suck off a rabid pitbull than go through that trauma again. it was truly, truly awful. the only saving grace was my milk and cookie to see me through afterwards.
i'm sorry nsc, but tonight, you've let me down.
i strolled into this establishment with the highest of hopes after rave reviews from chappers (a very highly respected food critic in my eyes) and dazo, among others. the first thing i see is a white boy behind the counter *that's not on, i thought to myself* not an asian in sight.. and not only was he a white boy, but he had acne and looked like he came from croydon.. this upset me, understandably, but i decided to soldier on for the greater good.
i browsed the menu, if you can call it a menu, and by jove it was brief. about ten things on the list at most and to be honest that wasn't the first thing i'd noticed. the prices alongside this shambles of a menu were, to be frank, utterly staggering. i'll give you an example, curry sauce, 1 of your Queen's English.
i thought to myself as i was trying to choose, *chappers et al recommended it, it won't let me down, be brave barney* (by this point, i was finding it hard to keep my two pals calm, who were in a state of panic) i stepped up to the counter and asked for a pie. the chav informed me that they only had a chicken and mushroom pie left, and let's be honest now nsc, i wanted a steak pie. i said ok, make it a savaloy, battered sausage and small chips, with curry sauce. i asked for a water, but to no avail, the only drink on sale was a diet coke. outrageous.
he totted up the bill and i nearly had a stroke. £5.20 for small chips, savaloy, small battered sossie, curry sauce and a can of diet ruddy coke. i was not happy.
my pal was not having any of this and chose to boycott "jenny". we then drove to our local, "fish and chips" on dyke road. he ordered large chips, a cheese burger, battered sos and curry sauce. his meal (substantially greater in quantity) came to £3.90. i was gutted.
as some of you will know, this chippy is opposite the tesco express. not feeling too optimistic by this point i trotted in and bought a pint of milk and a cookie in case it all went pete tong.
we found a suitable eating space and tucked in. my chips were tasty, but limited. my battered sos was chewy and undercooked (don't even start, conboy). my curry sauce was disgusting to the point that i disposed of it after two dips. the coke was tasteless (and from a multipack, so therefore illegal). last but not least, the savaloy. i genuinely would rather suck off a rabid pitbull than go through that trauma again. it was truly, truly awful. the only saving grace was my milk and cookie to see me through afterwards.
i'm sorry nsc, but tonight, you've let me down.
