Newspaper headlines

[The Large One]

Here's the scenario: John Prescott gives Falmer the green light, and as there is nothing else in the news that day, it makes it to the front pages of the national daily newspapers. What do you suppose each newspaper's headline would be in reporting this decision?

I'll start:

Daily Mail: Prescott allows hooligans to devastate the countryside

Guardian: Fan power nets Seagulls long-awaited stadium

Your turn. Go...

 

[dougdeep]

The Sun. Jordan has her way.

 

[CHAPPERS]

The Daily Star: Jordan NEARLY shows knickers

 

[Meade's Ball]

The Sport: Real-Life Manimal Solves 'Case Of The Pickled Pecker'

 

[Lord Bracknell]

Daily Mail - FEARS FOR HOUSE PRICES AS PRESCOTT DUMPS THE HOMELESS IN FARMER'S FIELD

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

The Sport: Real-Life Manimal Solves 'Case Of The Pickled Pecker'

youve been waiting a while to say that havent you?!

 

[Deano's Right Foot]

North Stand Chat: Error 503 etc.

Official Site: Ben Roberts injured in reserve game after only 9 seconds

 

[The Large One]

The Sun - TWO JAGS BAGS VOTE FROM FROM FAGS AND SLAGS

 

[Meade's Ball]

youve been waiting a while to say that havent you?!

I have no idea what you mean.

 

[Lord Bracknell]

The Sun:- NAZI THREAT AS 'SIEG HEIL' MOB CELEBRATE IN BRIGHTON

 

[Curious Orange]

Meridian: Portsmouth player has a cold.


(Not a newspaper, I know, but someone HAD to say it!!)

 

[Titanic]

It was The Argus wot won it!

 

[LANGDON SEAGULL]

Friday Ad: For sale or hire, one used athetics track, complete with 7,000 seats (9,000 pending 2009 enquiry), digital clock, hi tech TV gantry, parking for 2000 (2 miles away via bus), can create noise as local resident is deaf, may get problems from young northerners in bushes.

 

[Biscuit]

Little Knight wins chance to play with balls.

 

[dougdeep]

"Bunch of Gays have their way in Village."

 

[Meade's Ball]

"Bunch of Gays have their way in Village."

Or "Gaggle of Gays Defeat Village People".

 

[London Calling]

SUN " Bummers get stadium, Falmer now fear GYPSY invasion"

 

[Titanic]

BBC Sports website:

Lowly Brighton finally win something.

 

[lost in london]

Sun: "Man Utd player breaks toenail".

 

[London Calling]

Falmer Daily
"Prescott open doors for hoolies,drunks,druggies, gays,blacks, scrougers,refugees, wife beaters, duck fuckers and football players