ITS OFFICIAL - pets are ungrateful creatures...

[Easy 10]

My cockatiel Bruce was bothering me for a snack this afternoon, walking all over my desk and chewing the rubber on my mousemat. So before I went out, I left him a nice fresh lettuce leaf on the desk (rinsed under the tap, just how he likes it).

I returned to find the lettuce leaf consumed, and a steaming great turd in my keyboards numerical keypad. I've had to wait for it to go dry and crusty, break it up with a pen, and hoover what I can of it up with a Dustbuster.

Bastard.

 

[Beach Hut]

So now you know the meaning of being shat on

 

[Yorkie]

A number two on your number 2 ?

 

[Artois]

A number two on your number 2 ?

 

[Lord Bracknell]

Cockatiel Pie


Ingredients:
12 Cockatiels
6 Thin slices of lean beef, 4
4 Rashers of bacon, 3
3 Hard-boiled eggs
1/2 ts Finely chopped parsley
1/4 ts Dried parsley
Finely grated lemon peel
Salt & pepper
Puff paste
Flour

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Instructions:

Method: Prepare the birds, and truss them like a quail or any other small bird.
Line a pie-dish with the beef, over it place 6 of the cockatiels, intersperse slices of egg, parsley and lemon-rind, dredge lightly with flour, and season with salt and pepper.
Cover with the bacon cut into strips, lay the rest of the birds on the top, intersperse slices of egg, season with salt and pepper, and sprinkle with parsley and lemon-rind as before; three-quarter fill the dish with cold water, cover with puff-paste, and bake in a quick oven.

Time: About 2-1/2 hours.

SUFFICIENT for about 12 persons.

From Mrs. Beeton's All About Cookery, Ward, Lock & Co.

 

[Easy 10]

Don't tempt me Brackers...I tell ya, I am THIS close with that swine bird. He's chewed all my coving as well.

 

[Lord Cornwallis]

The word cage springs to mind.
You may also want to take a look at the Blue Peter annual circa 1972, page 83. "How to stuff your pet"

 

[nail-Z]

I can relate to this. I too have a cockatiel (evil bird).

We must have had him for 7 years now. How long are they meant to live?

Noisy, destructive, messy and too bloody stubborn to die.

I leave all of the windows open when the weather's nice but the thing's too stubborn to fly away.

It will happily walk all over you, shit freely, but if you dare to try and touch it you'll lose a lump out of your finger.

It even had a close encounter with the dog (was in the dogs mouth) but the dog showed mercy and let it go (with the exception of a few tail feathers).

 

[Seagullible]

sorry but I have to disagree. I have a lovely African Grey (named Sussex) who's slowly being trained to talk but has picked up Albion fairly well. She does seem to look confused with Seagulls but we'll get there. And if you think a cockatiel does big shits....

 

[Yorkie]

My cat hates me going away. She doesn't have to go into a cattery because my neighbour comes in and feeds her.

I have to tell her when I am going away and how long I am going to be away for.

If I don't then she ignores me for days when I get back. This is true even when my husband is still here and she hasn't actually been left alone.

The ultimate revenge she got on me is when I was flying to Greece for a long weekend and had half packed my case.
I left it open overnight to pop in the last few items.
In the morning I thought, this feels damp...

Yes, she had wee'd in the case!!!

I had to throw away the case and everything into the washing machine. Fortunately I wasn't leaving until lunchtime so had time to pack again.

She is 19 next month (how I don't know) and still going

 

[nail-Z]

You can't compare an African Grey with a Cockatiel?! That's like comparing an Lowly Eagle to a Mighty Seagull.

 

[pasty]

I got back from holiday on Sunday to find my fish had had babies!