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[TV] It’s a sin



Lethargic

Well-known member
Oct 11, 2006
3,466
Horsham
I watched this over the course of 5 nights, and I was am 18 year old gay guy (closeted) in the RAF during the start of the AIDS Pandemic. This series was a powerful reminder of the hatred and abuse that was prevalent at the time, and unfortunatly still is in some quarters)

There were several scenes that resonated with me , that last conversation between Jill and Ritchie's mother was heart breaking and so true for so many. The funeral scene where the deceased partner was simply brushed aside and told to basically be invisible to avoid upsetting the "proper family" was another scene that was played out countless times.

The one though that was so true for so many of us was the simple denial by Ritchie's mother to accept her son was gay. The scene with the other mother confronting her saying "how could you NOT know, he is your son" was a conversation I wished I could have had with my mother, How can you NOT know, how can you be so cruel to your own son, how can you do this to me! Totally heart wrenching and simply one of the best bits of television I have ever seen.

This show harks back to the early days of Chanel 4. It does what no other station in the world does or did- it hold up a mirror to all of us and says look- and we are ALL found wanting

Powerful stuff and should be compulsory viewing !

I agree in some way about Ritchie's mum and her denial but I think they were trying to provide a balance with Ritchie's dad and Colin's mum who had know her son was gay and accepted it ( a great relationship). My view was it was supposed to contrast with Ritchie's Dad particularly who was your classic dinosaur but changed his tune to support his son at the end, I think they were trying to represent various views against gays.

Not being gay I might have got that all wrong but that was how I saw it and overall the series was a thought provoking, powerful and entertaining piece of drama.
 




nickbrighton

Well-known member
Feb 19, 2016
1,940
I agree in some way about Ritchie's mum and her denial but I think they were trying to provide a balance with Ritchie's dad and Colin's mum who had know her son was gay and accepted it ( a great relationship). My view was it was supposed to contrast with Ritchie's Dad particularly who was your classic dinosaur but changed his tune to support his son at the end, I think they were trying to represent various views against gays.

Not being gay I might have got that all wrong but that was how I saw it and overall the series was a thought provoking, powerful and entertaining piece of drama.


The scene works on many different levels, and provides the contrasts you point out when viewed with other scenes in mind. When viewed as a whole, the series paints a brilliant picture of what i recall it being like. and demonstrates what an incredibly good writer Russel T Davies is

This particular scene just stood out to me as when she was basically berating Ritchie's mother it vocalised everything that I wanted to say to my mother at the time, but was simply unable to , even years later when I had been with my husband over 15 years.

To try an illustrate the effect of this lack of understanding that my mother had , I will give an example or two of how unconsciously she managed to cause a little bit of me to die inside.

I have been with my husband since the early 1990s, and we married in 2006 (Civil Partnership-converted to marriage later). My mother attended the ceremony, and had always treated Geoff in the same way as she treated my siblings spouses, or so I thought.

A few years ago Geoff and I were at her house, mum and I just talking when the conversation somehow got on to the husbands and wives in the family. My mother casually mentioned, that my husband wasn't a "proper husband or family member" like the rest were, or her second husband was.

To say that I was shocked, angry, hurt , bewildered is an understatement. Its the only time I ever lost my temper with her, I informed her that he was my husband and if she didn't accept that then I would have nothing else to do with her. We then left, with Geoff looking a bit confused as i had suddenly shouted "Hes My Husband" at her as I dragged him out

My mother apologised and unless Geoff reads this , I think he has no idea of exactly what was said. Things quickly returned to normal but I never got over the fact that my mother even after 25 plus years felt my relationship wasn't valid, and therefore by definition I was somehow less.

Before she moved back here she lived in Guildford so visiting was not an overnight job, but on one occasion following something on TV I mentioned that Im sure she would never have objected to me and Geoff sleeping overnight in the lounge, to which she replied "well honestly Im glad you have never asked that!". She was quite happy for my sister and her husband to spend the night.




I loved my mum till the day she died, however I can not help but feel that she somehow viewed me as being less than her other children. She said other things over the years that individually were almost meaningless, and can be laughed about but each time a little of me died. and even now writing this , I feel a little of the pain and disappointment that my memory of her a wonderful woman has a slight tarnish to it
 


Denis

Well-known member
Mar 25, 2013
558
Portslade
The scene works on many different levels, and provides the contrasts you point out when viewed with other scenes in mind. When viewed as a whole, the series paints a brilliant picture of what i recall it being like. and demonstrates what an incredibly good writer Russel T Davies is

This particular scene just stood out to me as when she was basically berating Ritchie's mother it vocalised everything that I wanted to say to my mother at the time, but was simply unable to , even years later when I had been with my husband over 15 years.

To try an illustrate the effect of this lack of understanding that my mother had , I will give an example or two of how unconsciously she managed to cause a little bit of me to die inside.

I have been with my husband since the early 1990s, and we married in 2006 (Civil Partnership-converted to marriage later). My mother attended the ceremony, and had always treated Geoff in the same way as she treated my siblings spouses, or so I thought.

A few years ago Geoff and I were at her house, mum and I just talking when the conversation somehow got on to the husbands and wives in the family. My mother casually mentioned, that my husband wasn't a "proper husband or family member" like the rest were, or her second husband was.

To say that I was shocked, angry, hurt , bewildered is an understatement. Its the only time I ever lost my temper with her, I informed her that he was my husband and if she didn't accept that then I would have nothing else to do with her. We then left, with Geoff looking a bit confused as i had suddenly shouted "Hes My Husband" at her as I dragged him out

My mother apologised and unless Geoff reads this , I think he has no idea of exactly what was said. Things quickly returned to normal but I never got over the fact that my mother even after 25 plus years felt my relationship wasn't valid, and therefore by definition I was somehow less.

Before she moved back here she lived in Guildford so visiting was not an overnight job, but on one occasion following something on TV I mentioned that Im sure she would never have objected to me and Geoff sleeping overnight in the lounge, to which she replied "well honestly Im glad you have never asked that!". She was quite happy for my sister and her husband to spend the night.




I loved my mum till the day she died, however I can not help but feel that she somehow viewed me as being less than her other children. She said other things over the years that individually were almost meaningless, and can be laughed about but each time a little of me died. and even now writing this , I feel a little of the pain and disappointment that my memory of her a wonderful woman has a slight tarnish to it

I have three sons and I hope I wouldn’t have reacted like your Mum, who knows. I just felt so incredibly sad reading that. Mind you, I’m feeling a bit tearful today anyway, hearing about Sir Tom Moore.....I think the lockdown is getting to me.
 


nickbrighton

Well-known member
Feb 19, 2016
1,940
I have three sons and I hope I wouldn’t have reacted like your Mum, who knows. I just felt so incredibly sad reading that. Mind you, I’m feeling a bit tearful today anyway, hearing about Sir Tom Moore.....I think the lockdown is getting to me.

Dont get me wrong, my mum was great and I have had a relatively easy time of it compared top many. I left home at 18, and so never had to have the being gay at home conversation as a teen. My family have all been great and personally (other than military) not faced a lot of discrimination or abuse since schooldays. I think thats why it hurt so much as it was so unexpected!
 


Brownstuff

Well-known member
Feb 21, 2009
1,510
Hove
Just watched this on the back of this thread and work mates recommends.
Likeable characters and very good acting particularly Keeley Hawes in the hospital scenes (thought it was Julie Walters at first).
Has a few parellels with what is going on in the world at the moment with fear/uncertainty of the unknown AIDS/Covid
 




Beach Hut

Brighton Bhuna Boy
Jul 5, 2003
72,002
Living In a Box
Really enjoyed it, fantastic soundtrack
 


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