In your Bournemouth slums

[smillie's garden]

you pop in the tea shoppe for a spot of Earl Grey,
a cucumber sandwich, and a view of the bay.
In your Bournemuff slums!

 

[raymondbriggs]

you wear a pack-a mac
to keep out the rain
In you Bournmouth slums

 

[Stat Brother]

According to this we are the dirty northern b******s, by 8 miles.

http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/distances.html?n=1352

http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/distances.html?n=1337


So we'll call it a draw, and say we are level.

 

[Nottseagull]

you wear a pack-a mac
to keep out the rain
In you Bournmouth slums

Budding song writer? Don't give up the day job, will you.....

 

[The Sock of Poskett]

We all agree ... our crazy golf's better than yours is

 

[raymondbriggs]

Budding song writer? Don't give up the day job, will you.....

oooh,a song critic!!!!!

O/K

How about
Nottseagull is a W@@ker,
He really is a tw@@
When he gives his budgie one
he's thinking of the cat.

The OP started the song writing,I only offered a second verse.

 

[Davemania]

you pop in the tea shoppe for a spot of Earl Grey,
a cucumber sandwich, and a view of the bay.
In your Bournemuff slums!

I like it, very funny

 

[hybrid_x]

you're all middle class and you earn 60 grand,
you're so f**king posh that your beach is all sand,
in ya boooornmaff slums......

 

[Gary Gurr]

According to this we are the dirty northern b******s, by 8 miles.

http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/distances.html?n=1352

http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/distances.html?n=1337


So we'll call it a draw, and say we are level.

We were thanked for making the trip north.....at Yeovil!

 

[Lady Whistledown]

'You sit in your deck chairs and moan at the rain
You wish Winston Churchill was leader again

In your Bournemouth slums
In your Bournemouth slums

Your teeth all fell out and you eat through a straw
You start every sentence with "During the war"

In your Bournemouth slums
In your Bournemouth slums'

 

[Lady Whistledown]

"You love Harry Redknapp & think he's a gent
Despite all the rest of us knowing he's bent
In your Bournemouth slums..."

 

[smudge]

"You love Harry Redknapp & think he's a gent
Despite all the rest of us knowing he's bent
In your Bournemouth slums..."

Very good!

How about, "he looks like your mascot but he's really your boss, you think we are rivals but we don't give a toss".

No?

 

[Vegas Seagull]

You used to be rich but you're all on the dole
Your towns full of Mancs and Brummies and Poles

 

[surrey jim]

According to this we are the dirty northern b******s, by 8 miles.

http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/distances.html?n=1352

http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/distances.html?n=1337


So we'll call it a draw, and say we are level.

We are Brighton, super Brighton; we are Brighton from the North.

 

[Gullys Cats]

you pop in the tea shoppe for a spot of Earl Grey,
a cucumber sandwich, and a view of the bay.
In your Bournemuff slums!

Hahaha!!!

 

[Blackadder]

you're all middle class and you earn 60 grand,
you're so f**king posh that your beach is all sand,
in ya boooornmaff slums......

To be fair a lot of other teams could probably sing that about us. (apart from the sand obviously).

 

[raymondbriggs]

You kick us and Butt us
To try to win the game
you dirty Dorset scum
you have no shame.
In your bournmuff slums.

 

[BN9 BHA]

Don't give up your day jobs!!

 

[raymondbriggs]

Don't give up your day jobs!!

Promise not to,if you promise to give up selling "the big issue"

 

[BN9 BHA]

Promise not to,if you promise to give up selling "the big issue"

Explain?
I like a joke that I can understand raymondo!