I keep thinking I've wet myself.

[Hungry Joe.]

Every time I put the old boy away after a widdle I get the sensation that I'm still going in my shorts but when I check I'm dry as a bone. Does anyone else suffer from this? Is there help available? and more importantly, has the condition got a name?

 

[On the Left Wing]

Get it checked out mate .... it sounds like it could be prostate problems.

 

[Brighton Breezy]

Sometimes when I am in bed I get the feeling I really need to piss but can never actually go. It is perhaps the most frustrating feeling I know.

 

[CHAPPERS]

That happened to me just earlier.

Although I had actually done a little wee.

 

[Deano's Right Foot]

Cystitis maybe?

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/cystitis.htm

 

[Croydonbloke]

Every time I put the old boy away after a widdle I get the sensation that I'm still going in my shorts but when I check I'm dry as a bone. Does anyone else suffer from this? Is there help available? and more importantly, has the condition got a name?

Keep it out in case you do piss yourself.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

I hate that thing at the airport where you've had a couple of Stellas and you feel the urge to go to absolutely every single WC between the bar and the departure gate.

 

[On the Left Wing]

Cystitis maybe?

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/cystitis.htm

Cystitis is usually accompanied by a burning sensation when you pee ... but still worth going to the GP about.

 

[Hungry Joe.]

Ah, the full range of advice! Thanks chaps. Will get it checked out OTLW just in case. Blimey, prostate problems, now that would make me feel old. In the meantime I'll take Croydon Bloke's advice and see how long I can get away with it.

 

[Titanic]

Get it checked out mate .... it sounds like it could be prostate problems.

I agree... loads of info available on the web...

for example: http://www.pamf.org/health/healthinfo/index.cfm?page=article&sgml_id=hw73293

 

[On the Left Wing]

Ah, the full range of advice! Thanks chaps. Will get it checked out OTLW just in case. Blimey, prostate problems, now that would make me feel old. In the meantime I'll take Croydon Bloke's advice and see how long I can get away with it.

In that case it might be worth disguising it by painting a smiley face on the helmet!!!!

 

[Everest]

Cystitis maybe?

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/cystitis.htm

Who is at special risk?

Women or girls who do not practice proper toilet hygiene.
Pregnant women.
People with a congenital deformity in the urinary system.
Men with an enlarged prostate.
People using a catheter.


So which category do you come under Phaedrus?

 

[Croydonbloke]

Ah, the full range of advice! Thanks chaps. Will get it checked out OTLW just in case. Blimey, prostate problems, now that would make me feel old. In the meantime I'll take Croydon Bloke's advice and see how long I can get away with it.

Top advice a.
Shall look out for news headlines Brighton bloke caught with dick out but released after gp confirms it`s on health advice.

 

[Kinky Gerbil]

i thought tyhis was a danny seagull thread

 

[Hungry Joe.]

Who is at special risk?

Women or girls who do not practice proper toilet hygiene.
Pregnant women.
People with a congenital deformity in the urinary system.
Men with an enlarged prostate.
People using a catheter.


So which category do you come under Phaedrus?

The first one I think.

Joking aside though, having checked I haven't got any of the other symptons of cystitis or prostritis so I think I'm just going insane.

 

[dannyboy]

std?



could be nsu (non specific urethritis)

had any dodgy birds lately?

 

[Hungry Joe.]

std?



could be nsu (non specific urethritis)

had any dodgy birds lately?

Only an iffy KFC the other day

This thread reminds me of thIS Monty Python song....

Medical Love Song

Mm-hmm-hmm. The doctors are here, Senior Barresby.
Ahh. Terrifique.

Inflammation of the foreskin reminds me of your smile.
I've had ballanital shancroids for quite a little while.
I gave my heart to NSU that lovely night in June.
I ache for you my darling, and I hope you get well soon.

My penile warts, your herpes,
My syphilitic sores,
Your monenelial infetion, how I miss you more and more.
Your dhobis itch,
My scrumpox,
Our lovely gonorrhoea.
At least we both were lying when we said that we were clear.

Our syphilic kisses sealed the secret of our tryst.
You gave me scrotal pustules with a quick flick of your wrist.
Your trichovaginitis sent shivers down my spine.
I got snail tracks in my anus when your spirochaetes met mine.

Gonococcal urethritis,
streptococcal balinitis,
Meningomyelitis,
Diplococcal cephalitis,
Epididymitis,
interstitial keratitis,
Syphilitic choroiditis and anterior ureitis.

My clapped-out genitalia is not so bad for me
As the complete and utter failure every time I try to pee.
My doctor says my buboes are the worst he's ever seen.
My scrotum's painted orange and my balls are turning green.

My heart is very tender,
'Though the parts are awful raw.
You might have been infected, but you never were a bore.
I'm dying of your love, my love,
I'm your spirochaetal clown.
I've left my body to science,
Gonococcal urethritis,
streptococcal balinitis,
Meningomyelitis,
Diplococcal cephalitis,
Epididymitis,
interstitial keratitis,
Syphilitic choroiditis and anterior ureitis.
But I'm afraid they've turned it down.

Gonococcal urethritis,
streptococcal balinitis,
Meningomyelitis,
Diplococcal cephalitis,
Epididymitis,
interstitial keratitis,
Syphilitic choroiditis and anterior ureitis.

Music by: John Du Prez and Eric Idle
Lyrics by: Graham Chapman and Eric Idle